It is stated that the utilization of animals for food, clothes or medicine is not essential anymore in our society today. I completely agree with this viewpoint as the bio-diversity needs to be preserved and thanks to the science development, people can create products by using industrial material instead.


First, By stop hunting animals particularly wildlife ones, the bio-diversity is likely to be balanced. Since a considerable number of animals all over the world has been decreasing everyday by many illegal hunting activities, people should not make use of animals anymore. Furthermore, as the demands for products from animals rises, the disappearing of animals will continue to happen. For example, there are only 20 Red cranes in the world listed in Red List of the Worldwide Animals Organization due to uncontrolled hunting of people. If animals are still being utilized for humans purposes, they will soon become extinct leading to the endangered bio-diversity


Second, the advance technology in the industry could assist people in producing such quality products. This is because artificial products could be made just by synthetic materials but still be able to resemble products made from animals. For instance, nowadays those fox fur jackets are not created from fox anymore since clothes companies can make use of chemical substances combing with either cotton or plastic to create such gorgeous outfits without using animal fur.Therefore, by using these artificial materials instead, people can joint hands to prevent many animals from being extinct as well as preserving the wildlife.


In conclusion, the bio-environment needs to be protected and people should take advantage of those artificial materials instead of animal’s organs and body.

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Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: In the modern world it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or use animals in products like clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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It is stated that the using utilization of animals for food, clothes or medicine is not essential anymore in our society today. I completely agree with this viewpoint as the bio-diversity needs to be preserved (I do not understand your point. We have cattle for beef and dairy, sheep, goats and chickens for meat. There is no biodiversity with these domesticated animals.) . and thanks to the science development, people can create products by using plants and synthetic industrial materials instead.


First, By if we stop hunting animals, particularly wild wildlife ones, the bio-diversity is likely to be balanced. Since a considerable the number of animals all over the world has been decreasing every day from everyday by many illegal hunting activities, people should not make use of animals anymore. (What about cows, sheep, pigs and chickens? There are millions of these domesticated animals raised by farmers all over the world and sold to the butcher shops for sale to people. ) Furthermore, as the demand demands for products from animals rises, the disappearance disappearing of animals will continue to happen. For example, there are only 20 Red cranes in the world listed in Red List of the Worldwide Animals Organization due to uncontrolled hunting of people. If animals are still being consumed or eaten, utilized for humans purposes, they will soon become extinct leading to the endangered decrease in bio-diversity.


Second, the advanced technology in the industry could assist people in producing such quality products. This is because artificial products could be made just by synthetic materials but still be able to resemble products made from animals. For instance, nowadays those fox fur jackets are not created from foxes anymore since textile manufacturers clothes companies can make use of polymers chemical substances combing (wrong word) with either natural fibers (cotton, silk or wool) plastic to create such gorgeous outfits without using animal fur.Therefore, by using these artificial substitute materials instead, people can joint hands to prevent many animals from being extinct killed as well as preserving the wildlife.

In conclusion, the bio-environment needs to be protected and people should take advantage of those artificial materials instead of animal parts. ’s organs and body.