Education, for all intents and objectives, is placed in a position that will shape and mold
future generations and contribute to their personal and professional development.
However, many express their concern about whether schools have fully served their
purpose in equipping learners with enough preparation in the real world. From my
perspective, I believe that although education systems do give us some helpful
knowledge required for our future career. Still, the present teaching method with fewer
theory applications and practical skills and the way we evaluate our students may have
a negative long-term consequence.
In order to succeed in the real world, one is required to acquire a thorough theoretical
understanding of specific concepts related to the job, as well as the ability to put those
theories into practice. Students nowadays, on the other hand, are often not well-trained
in how to apply their knowledge outside of the classroom. We are mostly just given
tasks from the textbooks in school without much explanation and hands-on training
about using them in real-life circumstances. For instance, we learn how to solve
complicated problems in math, but they rarely tell us their real-life applications.
Moreover, student performance sometimes is graded in some skill-based subjects by a
writing test rather than practical exams. In fact, the subjects that high schoolers study
are very informative and essential; math helps us think analytically and have better
reasoning abilities. Likewise, physics and science-related subjects give us some ideas
about the world. But if the student is clueless about that connection with their life, it
could promote the sense of apathy of students towards the subject being taught as they
do not see how the lesson is relevant and important to them and then less genuine
interest in it. The overall academic outcomes, as a direct result, are also affected.
On the one hand, the current educational systems pay little attention to practical skills,
such as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills, which play a pivotal
role in the learner's success. Not all students go to college after high school; they might
decide to move to another area such as vocational schools in which the theory that they
learned in high school is not applicable. Nevertheless, the skills they could learn from
schools could benefit them regardless of their career path. For example, no matter what
an individual's specialty is, the ability to present or talk in public or use computers and
write a formal email are valuable skills and need to be mastered. Without these essential
2
experiences, a fresher may find it challenging to fulfill the company’s needs and get on
with the work setting.
In addition, as the recent academic outcomes only reflect whether the learners could
provide the correct definition or answer a math problem, they shift their focus solely on
mugging up facts and theories to get a flying-color grade instead of acquiring such skills
and abilities. This could have a severe impact on their potential when seeking a job. An
article published by the CED newspaper recently stated that “over 60 % of bachelor's
degree holders are unemployable due to lacking job-related skills and practical
experiences. A study commissioned by the practical learning foundation, Edge, also
revealed that 71% of employers would consider employing young people who had poor
exam grades if they had plenty of factual skills. This speaks volumes and proves beyond
a reasonable doubt about the ineffectiveness in assessing the whole learning process of
students.
To conclude, educators, in collaboration with all educational systems, must bridge the
gap between what students learn in the classroom and what they need in the future by
giving them the theory's applications and core skills necessary for the future. Besides,
they should have an up-to-date assessment system to evaluate the student’s
performance. By doing so, the young generations will grow ideally and become
exceptional members contributing to the development of our society.
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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
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Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here. You did not post the complete instructions, so put them in a reply or comment.
My essay:
(Your text here...)
---------------------
Education, for all intents and objectives, is placed in a position that will shape and mold
future generations and contribute to their personal and professional development.
However, many express their concern about whether schools have fully served their
purpose in equipping learners with enough preparation in the real world. From my
perspective, I believe that although education systems do give us some helpful
knowledge required for our future career. Still, the present teaching method with fewer
theory applications and practical skills and the way we evaluate our students may have
a negative long-term consequence.
In order to succeed in the real world, one is required to acquire a thorough theoretical
understanding of specific concepts related to the job, as well as the ability to put those
theories into practice. Students nowadays, on the other hand, are often not well-trained
in how to apply their knowledge outside of the classroom. We are mostly just given
tasks from the textbooks in school without much explanation and hands-on training
about using them in real-life circumstances. For instance, we learn how to solve
complicated problems in math, but they rarely tell us their real-life applications.
Moreover, student performance sometimes is graded in some skill-based subjects by a
writing test rather than practical exams. In fact, the subjects that high schoolers study
are very informative and essential; math helps us think analytically and have better
reasoning abilities. Likewise, physics and science-related subjects give us some ideas
about the world. But if the student is clueless about that connection with their life, it
could promote the sense of apathy of students towards the subject being taught as they
do not see how the lesson is relevant and important to them and then less genuine
interest in it. The overall academic outcomes, as a direct result, are also affected.
On the one hand, the current educational systems pay little attention to practical skills,
such as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills, which play a pivotal
role in the learner's success. Not all students go to college after high school; they might
decide to move to another area such as vocational schools in which the theory that they
learned in high school is not applicable. Nevertheless, the skills they could learn from
schools could benefit them regardless of their career path. For example, no matter what
an individual's specialty is, the ability to present or talk in public or use computers and
write a formal email are valuable skills and need to be mastered. Without these essential
2
experiences, a fresher may find it challenging to fulfill the company’s needs and get on
with the work setting.
In addition, as the recent academic outcomes only reflect whether the learners could
provide the correct definition or answer a math problem, they shift their focus solely on
mugging up facts and theories to get a flying-color grade instead of acquiring such skills
and abilities. This could have a severe impact on their potential when seeking a job. An
article published by the CED newspaper recently stated that “over 60 % of bachelor's
degree holders are unemployable due to lacking job-related skills and practical
experiences. A study commissioned by the practical learning foundation, Edge, also
revealed that 71% of employers would consider employing young people who had poor
exam grades if they had plenty of factual skills. This speaks volumes and proves beyond
a reasonable doubt about the ineffectiveness in assessing the whole learning process of
students.
To conclude, educators, in collaboration with all educational systems, must bridge the
gap between what students learn in the classroom and what they need in the future by
giving them the theory's applications and core skills necessary for the future. Besides,
they should have an up-to-date assessment system to evaluate the student’s
performance. By doing so, the young generations will grow ideally and become
exceptional members contributing to the development of our society
In your opinion, does the education system prepare a student for the real world? If yes, in which ways? If not, what are the gaps?
You have nearly 600 words. It is way too long for either an IELTS or TOEFL writing exam.
The paragraphing is not clear.
I spent a lot of time and effort making comments on your previous essay. Did you learn anything from the feedback?
Thank you very much for your feedback. I have learn so much from your feedback. This essay is not for ielts writing so that it can be longer. I really appreciate your effort for providing feedback. Can you please help me with this essay?
Is this your English class homework?