Hey. Is the below written/phrased in a natural way? Could it be written better?

Bully: So tell me, how would a girl like her ever fall for an ugly, skinny guy like you?

Struggling to come up with a verbal response to that, Glen instead takes a big swing at the bully.


It's OK.

Note that context, body language, facial expression, etc are all very important. In this case, you have told us that the person is a bully. If you hadn't told us that, I'd have thought that the speaker was just trying to be funny with his friend, just kidding.