Nice question i need to deal with for my english homework.

German student Max Dieckman proposed and patented the first electromechanical television system in 1906. Wide employment of „shimmering box“ has only begun since early fifthies of 20th century.
Television belongs to one of the most essential factors of building people’s opinion. Over and above television is counted to the most social effective media as „instructor“ of moral- ethical values. With uncleared great variety of television stations TV offers program palette which could not be reached by any other medium. Information, entertainment, vanishing point – these are just some of requirements TV can meet. But what happen with us while we have us „sprinkled“? And is there life after television? Can we survive without it?
Television has outstanhding big effect on the development of children‘s character. Unable to make fair judgements, children take all information from TV in without thinking of the information source and use or damage this information can lead to. Childern need to have models on which they can orientate themselfs. Because of lack of time parents lose their function of models for their kids while TV replace the role of mother and father for children. Children are not able to distinguish reality and fantasy world . Sexing can also be manipulated by TV. The picture of anorexic perioxide blondine and oversunned muscleman imprints deep in brains of children. Many adult people are addictet to the magic of television as well. A lot of human beings become victims of the electromechanical drug. „On average, people in Britaion spend 230.6 minutes watching the television every day“. Family, social contacts and even personal hygiene step on the background. People, especually children lose the sence of reality and contact to the others. They stop thinking on their own. Watching a lot of TV interrupts the development of children’s imagination etc. but 75-years- old box has also it positive effects on its inventers. Television offers a lot of useful information and entertainment. Many people who dont have enough time or interest of reading newspapers or books can get in all information they need just in a few minutes by watching tv. Without travelling to other places we are always informed about political situation there. Television influense the social life structure and political appearance of people. It is proved that voter mostly orientate themselfs on representation of politicians by the media, especualley television and not by the the actual events. The role of TV in our modern life is irreplaceable and i hardly imagine the future life without it. From all sides critisized „shimmering box“ can also be usefull in our daily life if people dont abuse the tv. Watching TV one or two hours a day cant bring much harm to adults and children as well. Parents just have to control times and kind of television sets their kids watch.
All things considered i can say that television is an important part of our modern life but we dont have to forget that life is more than „shimmering box“ and the comfortable couch.

***I know that this is a big text so i would be veery happy if you help me to improve my mistakes even in just some parts of this text:)
Hi,

Here are two brief comments.

1. You need an introduction that introduces the topic you will discuss. Yours just comments very, very briefly and irrelevantly on the history of TV.

2. Most of your essay is in the form of one very large paragraph. You need to have paragraphs of approximately the same length, each dealing with one specific point that you want to make.

Best wishes, Clive
okay, thanks for your points! Emotion: smile