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Hi,

Could you check this sentence please? Is "who" necessary in this sentence or it have to be omitted?

"The study included patients aged 18 years and above who visited X Hospital and who were diagnosed with mild to moderate ulcerative colitis by a specialist physician, based on the recent test results and existing medical records, and who met the inclusion criteria and were willing to participate in the study."


Thanks!

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The first and third "who" must stay; the second needn't.

Also "... based on the recent test results."

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You are trying to cram too much into this one long sentence. I find it hard to understand what you are trying to say.

I suggest that you try to use more than one sentence..

eg "The study included patients aged 18 years and above who visited X Hospital and who were diagnosed with mild to moderate ulcerative colitis by a specialist physician. The diagnosis was based on the recent test results and existing medical records.

I don't understand how the following part fits with the first sentence.

Only patients who met the inclusion criteria and were willing to participate in the study.

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Comments  
CliveI don't understand how the following part fits with the first sentence.Only patients who met the inclusion criteria and were willing to participate in the study.

Well, there are some inclusion criteria (having a BMI above 18.5, not pregnant or breastfeeding,...) that those patients mentioned in the first sentence have to met. Also they were not obliged to participate in the study. Do you say these are in contrast with each other?


Thanks!

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I suggest this.

eg "The study included patients aged 18 years and above who visited X Hospital and who were diagnosed with mild to moderate ulcerative colitis by a specialist physician. The diagnosis was based on the recent test results and existing medical records. Participants also had to meet some other inclusion criteria (having a BMI above 18.5, not pregnant or breastfeeding,...). In addition, they had to be willing to participate in the study.