Dear Sir or Madam,

I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as my first step in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology.

My educational history was not really complete. I attended only 3 months at [***], one of the elite universities in [ZZZ], because I received a scholarship from a French NGO to pursue my university study in France. After taking the French course and various part-time jobs to practise it, I went to the University of [YYY]. Unfortunately, the scholarship did not pay for the whole program, so my family needed to cover the cost. Before the end of the program, we had a very difficult situation which led me to leave the university to get a job. I was really sad about the situation, but could not do anything else. However, I always kept in mind that this is not the end of the world. Someday, I would get a degree. This was a debt that I had to reimburse.

My first job was as a Software Developer. This was where I put into practice what I learned from university, such as algorithm, programming technique, database, code optimisation, design, architecture, etc. When I was confronted with some technical issues, I consulted books, articles, and various forums on the internet. Apart from technical issues, I was challenged by the human factor as well, and how to share my knowledge for the benefit of the team. Over the years, I sharpened these best practices, and my career progressed. Despite this, somehow deep inside my mind, I was bothered by the thought that I still did not have a degree. So I took various training courses that increased my technical skills, more beneficial for the company I worked for.

I was hired by a software house company in [DDD] as a Technical Manager. I was not only involved in the software engineering aspect, but also on team development management and company related business aspects. With over 10 years of experience dealing with technical aspect of IT, I do feel a need to see the context from a non-technical side. PMP was an option at that time. After 10 months of self-study, I'm now PMP Certified. That certification helped me a lot in dealing with various aspects of management. As I keep honing my skills on management, I came across the Agile Software Process Managements. One of those is Scrum, which I took the training in [LLL]. By having two certifications, PMP and CSM ( Certified ScrumMaster ), I became more useful to my company and have been able to assume positions of greater responsibilities.

Despite those two certifications, I still have a thirst for additional business and management knowledge. I like a challenge, and I want to learn more about how to use technology to solve business and management problems, how to manage technology solutions, how to harness the talent in others, and how to think and lead strategically. A Master's degree will greatly increase my overall marketability, and enable me to pay off to my debt.

There are many specific reasons why I want to pursue the MMIT at [xyz]. Its academic reputation, the availability of an extensive range of courses, and the online courses that are flexible in helping me balance professional goals, work pressure, and family responsibilities.

I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this programme. I would be grateful if my application for this programme is considered and accepted.

Yours faithfully,
*** ***
1 2 3
The correct way of asking the question is:

Does it make any sense?

The word "education" is different from the word "educational". You may want to find out what the difference is.

There are many errors in your letter, which will not help you in anyway.

However, I would say, nice try! keep the great spirit!

You have made a few errors in the letter. So what? Try again! No big deal!
Hi huangpengcheng,

So, did I make "many errors" or "few errors" ?
Rather than just tell me this or that, could you please elaborate or justify your comments ?
This will allow others to learn as well. Share us your thought !
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
OK, I have to do it a bit by a bit, so please be patient. 

Now, first sentence:

"I am applying for the Postgraduate Diploma of Information Technology Management, as my first step in pursuing the Master of Management in Information Technology."

The correct way of writing the sentence is either

"I am applying for PDITM as my first step in pursuing the Master of MIT."

or

"I am applying for PDITM, as it is the first step in my pursuit of obtaining the Master degree of whatever."

When you use 'as' to start a clause, you have to have a subject and a verb included in the clause. Of course there are some exceptions, but not in this case anyway.

Second sentence:

"My educational history was not really complete. "

In English, this sentence does not make any sense. What you really wanted to say was:

"My education has not completed yet."

First, when you say 'educational', you should know that the word really means something that educates you, and something that provides new information or some kind of teaching to you, or, something that enlightens you. It does not mean your schooling process.

Second, when you use 'was', a past tense in verb, you need to be careful. In English, a simple past tense normally indicate something happened in the past, and in general, the speaker would give a time reference on when the incident occurred either explicitly or implicitly. For example,he would say clearly when it happened,or he would indicate when it happened in the context.

When you say 'My education has not completed', your intention focuses on the present, the incompleteness of your education, not on any point in the past, and that is why in English people would use this tense to express their ideas of such nature.
Second sentence:

"My educational history was not really complete. "

In English, this sentence does not make any sense. What you really wanted to say was:

"My education has not completed yet."

First, when you say 'educational', you should know that the word really means something that educates you, and something that provides new information or some kind of teaching to you, or, something that enlightens you. It does not mean your schooling process.

Second, when you use 'was', a past tense in verb, you need to be careful. In English, a simple past tense normally indicate something happened in the past, and in general, the speaker would give a time reference on when the incident occurred either explicitly or implicitly. For example,he would say clearly when it happened,or he would indicate when it happened in the context.

When you say 'My education has not completed', your intention focuses on the present, the incompleteness of your education, not on any point in the past, and that is why in English people would use this tense to express their ideas of such nature.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
huangpengcheng, thanks for sharing with us your thought.
Anything else in the letter that you might find wrong ?
man...u r so lucky...
just being curious about how many replies gonna make in the next few days...

lmao ...hah
buset07Unfortunately, the scholarship did not pay for the whole program, so my family needed to cover the cost.
it's better to swap the two verbs in this sentence ...
the scholarship didn't cover the whole course, so my family had to pay for the rest.

我来做沙发
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Show more