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It remain a controversy that government should fund prevention instead of cure in recent times. While many people agree that funding for cure is better, I believe the spending money on prevention is a better choice.

On the other hand, funding cure is a really essential. Because there are many people, who suffer from serious injuries and illness. It may be the injuries resulted from playing sports, essentially adventure sports, or accidents. People cannot predict this illness previously and the only thing need to is cure. Moreover, if governments do not allocate budget for cure in hospital, the can endanger patient and result in overburdened medical staff. They cannot afford to buying advance medical facilities for curing without subsidise. They also don ‘t have money to pay doctor’s salaries and other costs.

On the other hand, it seems to me that government should fund prevention. Heath is the greatest asset of the nation, so we must look after. If people have a good heath, they tend to more creative and productive and as the result, people make scientific discoveries and breakthough. This is benifical and dealing with life-threatening disease. If government don’t spending money on health care services, many people have not opportunities to take part in cancer detection tests, especially, people from low-income background. If desease is detected soon, costs for treatment will be lower. And they can overcome easily.

In conclusion, funding cure has some benefits in short-term, but subsidise for prevention is better for long term. Therefore, government should allocate budget to prevention.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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It remain (wrong form) a controversy (There is no controversy. Like many other students, you have memorized this response. Examiners do not reward memorized responses to the topic.) that government should fund prevention instead of cure in recent times. While many people agree that funding for cure is better, I believe that the spending money on prevention is a better choice.

You did not answer the essay prompt: To what extent do you agree of or disagree?

You need to answer with an adverb of extent. Do you know these words?


On the other hand, funding hospitals and doctors to cure sick people is a really essential. Because there are many people, who suffer from serious injuries and illness. (Fragment, not a sentence. Do not write a dependent clause as a sentence.) It may be the injuries resulting ed from playing sports, essentially especially risky adventure sports, or accidents. People cannot predict this illness previously and the only thing that can be done is to treat them. need to is cure. (bad English) Moreover, if governments do not allocate budget for cure in hospitals, the (wrong word) can endanger patient and result in overburdened medical staff. They cannot afford to buying advance medical facilities for curing without subsidies. subsidise.(wrong word) They also don ‘t (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) have money to pay doctor’s salaries and other costs.

On the other hand, it seems to me that government should fund prevention. Heath is the greatest asset of the nation, so we must look after it. If people have a good heath, they tend to more creative and productive and as the result, people make scientific discoveries and breakthoughs. This is benifical and dealing (wrong form) with life-threatening disease. If government don’t spending (wrong form) money on health care services, many people have no not opportunities to take part in cancer detection tests, especially, people from low-income backgrounds. If desease a disease is detected early soon, costs for treatment will be lower. And they are more likely to survive. can overcome easily.

In conclusion, funding cure has some benefits in short-term, but subsidise for prevention is better for the long term. Therefore, government should allocate budget to the prevention of diseases.