hallo everybody - i really would like you to have a look to this... article. actually is not an essay nor something serious - just a proof. i would like to improve my skills in english writing (since i wanna become a journalist - maybe an international journalist) so i'm trying to write something in this language that's not my native one. i chose as subject my country, something i know, just to make it a little bit easier - but my pourpose is not just to write in a correct english, i need to write as an english native speaker would write or speak. that's really difficult - and that's just my first attempt. so i will really appreciate any kind of help you can give me, starting from grammar and ending with structures, synonimouses and also "i would have written this sentence like that" - really, everything will be helpful.
thank you very much - and hope not to bother you too much with my text :-D


it's a strange air the one we are breathing in italian streets in these last months - quite difficult for a stranger to understand. but an italian - every italian - can understand what i mean. it's a new air - full with sadness. with resignation. with indolence.
it's a feeling that covers everything we are doing and thinking - you can read on the newspaper, maybe in some books - but overall you can read it on the faces of people walking by in the streets. the few you can meet, at least.
i was having a kebab in the centre of my small town yesterday (Xmas) and the turkish guy who sold me it was quite astonished. "there's no one in the streets tonight. last year they were crowded and full with people - every restaurant was open, as well as every table were occupied." "yep i know - was my answer - in a few years you'll see italian people looking for a job in turkey". he laughed. it was not supposed to be a joke.

like many other italian students i had my erasmus last year - and more or less all of my best friends left this year. i went to berlin, someone else to sweden, someone to spain, one in china - and the great shock of seeing how different life can (should!) be produced the same results: and we all agree we won't come back, we wanna stay where we were. we want to have a future different from the one that's waiting for us in our country.
old people at the government, no working economy, no spaces for young people to work or innovate - university and hospitals in the hands of the old "baroni", the old doctors or professors who decide everything, who give their sons and relatives the jobs we should get through a test. a young graduated who works for an university earns 1000 euro pro month - if he's lucky. and the contract has to be renovated every year. good resercherer with 40 are still waiting for a "real" job - and they won't get it.
you can get one if you join a party - that's the best way. join a party, start to follow the people who have power - and then wait. in any case. 'cause the average age of deputees and senators is more than 50 years. and these were just example: there's no young people in any branch of public administration - nor in the private factories not transnational. energies are just waisted in this "everything must change, so that nothing changes" country.
of course i'm not blind nor stupid, italy has a lot of great things it can exploit - as every tourist knows. art, monuments, wonderful cities and landskapes - but our richness is our damnation. nothing can be changed in our cities - nor a tree can be moved, nor a parking lot can be built. nothing can be renovate. if you knew what happened in florence when the major decided to build a tram-rail (wich was supposed to cut down pollution and traffic - and make the city more pleseant for the tourists) you would think i'm joking. every little block, every street, every fucking condominium has its own commitee wich defends its rights - the "not in my backyard" logic is winning everywhere.

and so - young people are just tired. no jobs, no chances of doing something - not even chances of saying our own opinion. our politicians' show wich runs everyday on television and newspapers of taking and stealing as much as possible now before the ship sinks is clear and depressing for everybody. and we escape - simply.
first the graduateds - the ones who have a chance to get good jobs elsewehere. i already decided to study abroad - as well as many of my friends. doctors, engeneers, journalists - everybody who has a little knowledge of other languages and a little chance of improving his own life-conditions
and then the others - employees, clerks, accounters, baby sitter.
maybe the last will the the cooks and the waiters - in the "land of tourism and beauty" this kind of job will be the last to disappear.
yep - when we'll see as many pizzerie in istanbul as many kebabs are now in europe we'll be able to say: italians have lost.
poor italians.

Here's a quick comment. It's important to use capital letters, eg at the start of each sentence, and for proper names.

And here are some suggestions for your first couple of paragraphs.


It's a strange air, the one we have been breathing in Italian streets in these last months. It's quite difficult for a stranger to understand, but an Italian - every Italian - can understand what I mean. It's a new air, full of sadness, of resignation and of indolence.
It's a feeling that covers everything we do and think. You can read about it in the newspapers, and maybe in some books, but overall you can read it on the faces of people walking by in the streets, at least the few you can meet.

My advice is not to get into the habit of using a lot of dashes in your sentences. It often starts to make your meaning unclear and your writing seem 'lazy'.

Best wishes, Clive
yes, you'd better focus on your English and improve it as much as you can if you want to be a good journalist. Because if you want to be an Italian journalist, then you'll never be a good one.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
yes, you'd better focus on your English and improve it as much as you can if you want to be a good journalist. Because if you want to be an Italian journalist, then you'll never be a good one.

cause i say italy is not that great?