Hello everyone,

I’m an italian student (in marketing), and I’m trying to build my own touristic company in Roma.

And I need some help and suggestions from english speaking people (canadians, british, americans, autralians…)

In this company, I want to offer people coming in Roma a romantic experience in a personalized theatre.

But my english is very bad, and I asked to friends of mine to traduct my webpage in english.

I received four proposals, and I don’t know wich of them is the most professional, the better for american and british people.

Here is the link of theses traductions :

http://ezaesqf4798.site.voila.fr/thetest.htm

When there is a “?”, that’s because the paragraph is not yet traducted.

Could you please say me wich of these is better, for me ?

Could you please say me, for each of these, if the traduction is very good, good, poor, bad, or very bad ?

If you want, you can send me an email to : (removed by moderator) to give me your indications and suggestions.

The traduction need to be as “poetic” as it was when I wrote it in italian. The traduction need to be “magic” for my customers. People need to want to buy such an experience, reading the webpage.

I really need your help ! It’s very very important for me !

I need to succeed in creating my own job !

Thanks :-)

Felipe Battisti
Sounds like a great idea to me. Perfect for those couple-y trips and I'm sure it will be popular.

A is definitely the best version, the others have a few rather comical mistranslations(eg 'motorised red insect!?) and do not sound 'natural' English. They are also overdoing the flowery language a little bit. Romance is one thing, cheesiness is another. A is written by someone with a much better command of English. Also, don't forget that English speakers call your city Rome.

And this is the 'introduction' not the 'traduction'.
Ok, thanks a lot !!!!! :-)
So, I'll choice the proposal A !