Aue has become too much of my life. No, curb your enthusiasm, this is not an "I'm outta here" post.
Today I attended the funeral of one of my brothers-in-law. Rather than spending my time fondly remembering the faithful departed, I found myself mentally recording grist for the aue mill.

The priest that said the Mass was suitably Irish - but with a most unsuitable Protestant televangelist comb-over - and referred to the BIL as a "lovely man, a lovely man indeed". I wonder if "lovely" and "man" are ever spoken in the same sentence by anyone that isn't Irish.

The mourners looked like Central Casting had put out a call for a Florida crowd. I've never seen so many orthopedic shoes, aluminum canes and walkers, white pants, over-the-waist waistbands, blue hair, and polyester in one location in me life. The church rattled with the sound of rosary beads and clicking dentures. Of course, the BIL was in his 80s and lived in the St Petersburg area.
We went out for a meal at an Italian restaurant after the services. To the left of me was a grandson that is in the Air Force and stationed at Minot, North Dakota. He pronounced it "my-not", but my inclination was to say "me-no". I've seen the word in print, but I don't recall ever hearing it. I suppose he's correct, but the spelling says "me-no" to me. Of course, "Des Plaines" says "De Plaines" to me but I know it to be "Des Planes". (That should confuse otherpondians who would then pronounce "Des Moines" as "Des Moynes" instead of "Dee Moyne".)
To the right of me was a relative of the son-in-law of the brother-in-law. He grew up in the Bronx, but now lives in some suburb of New York City called "Bensonhurst" which I believe is near another suburb called "Brooklyn". He said he grew up within walking distance of Yankee Stadium, but now follows the Brooklyn Cyclones. When he said that, it took me a bit aback since I thought he meant he was something like a hurricane tracker that keeps maps showing the current locations of strong winds.
He came up with grist when he asked me to pass the "gravy cheese". Without my aue background I would have been completely lost. As it was, I handed over the Parmesan cheese shaker.
I tried to give him a conversational opening by asking him if he'd tried pizza in Florida. I figured that being a Brooklyn-type, he'd do ten minutes on the superiority of New Yawk pizza, the water-to-grease ratio of pizza crusts, and how the wooden pizza paddle was invented in New York at Umberto's on Fiddy-Tird Street in 1843. However, he said he never did like pies and never ate the stuff. I couldn't get him to say "geddoutahere" either.
There was some guy across from me that was related to somebody somehow, but I never figured it out. My wife was passing around pictures of our son and his wife and baby. When she mentioned that the DIL was Russian (in response to a question about why the grandson is named "Nikolai") he said his g-grandfather was a white Russian. I asked him what a White Russian was and he mumbled something about him not being one of those red Russians. "Not a Bolshevik?" I said. He replied that he didn't know where in Russia his g-grandfather was from.
Why do people grow up "the Bronx", but not "the Brooklyn", "the Queens", or "the Staten Island"? I wonder if you go to "hospital" in the Bronx, but to "the hospital" in Queens".
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To the right of me was a relative of the son-in-law of the brother-in-law. He grew up in the Bronx, but now lives in some suburb of New York City called "Bensonhurst" which I believe is near another suburb called "Brooklyn".

Bensonhurst is a neighborhood of Brooklyn. If I walked out the door of my Gravesend, Brooklyn house I could be in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.
Why do people grow up "the Bronx", but not "the Brooklyn", "the Queens", or "the Staten Island"? I wonder if you go to "hospital" in the Bronx, but to "the hospital" in Queens".

The Swede Jonas Bronck, who was, perversely, a Dutch sea-captain, started his farm on the northeast bank of the Haarlem (Harlem) River in
1639. The river on the other side of the farm was called "the Bronck'sRiver." Even though the Bronck's farm and river were in Westchester County from 1683 on, the New York City & New York Country imperialists (later to engineer the Rape of Brooklyn in 1898) annexed the area west of the Bronck's river in 1874 and the rest of the Bronck's farm in 1895. The Borough of the Bronx was created and named in 1898. It is the Borough of the Bronck's (Bronx) River.
Why do people grow up "the Bronx", but not "the ... "hospital" in the Bronx, but to "the hospital" in Queens".

The Swede Jonas Bronck, who was, perversely, a Dutch sea-captain, started his farm on the northeast bank of the Haarlem ... The Borough of the Bronx was created and named in 1898. It is the Borough of the Bronck's (Bronx) River.

You are correct, sir.
Around the time of the imperialist expansion, the southern part of the present-day Bronx was referred to as "the North Side", a nize term that more or less went extinct after 1898, sadly. Seems odd, since (despite the way the Manhattan numbered street system sort of continues on in the Bronx, in distorted fashion) the Bronx seems too separate from Manhattan to be a "North Side" corresponding to Manhattan's East and West Sides (and Manhattan has no South Side). Moreover, I think of the East and West Sides being sides of Manhattan* more than *New York, but that's post-1898 thinking you might say. Cf. the odd usage of "East Side" and "North Side" in Seattle (Twenty-fourth Largest City in America).

All the same, if I'd been in charge I'd've named the Bronx "The North Side". "Bronx" is a rather evocative name, though. It's sort of the sound a bowling ball makes when it succeeds in striking a full set of pins in a bowling alley having the right sort of acoustic properties.
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The priest that said the Mass was suitably Irish - but with a most unsuitable Protestant televangelist comb-over - and ... man indeed". I wonder if "lovely" and "man" are ever spoken in the same sentence by anyone that isn't Irish.

Does "lovely guy" count?
Back in November or so of 1990, I was looking for a job (this was a couple of months after I walked out of that proofreader job after a day or so). One of the job interviews I went on was at a small comic-book publishing company somewhere in the Twenties, IIRC, in Manhattan. The place seemed to have just two employees, the boss and his assistant.

The assistant was named either Gonzalez or Rodriguez. I remember this because I was nervous and I greeted him using the incorrect choice of those two possible names. D'oh!
I mainly talked to the boss, though. I can't remember his name. IIRC he was Jewish, and not Irish (hi Einde!). He had a mild sort of lisp. He was a dead ringer for the actor Jeffrey Tambor, who first made a name for himself as the neighbor on The Ropers , the spinoff of Three's Company . The boss guy was probably in his 40s, not too many years older than Tambor had been on The Ropers . Tambor is now on the remarkably good Fox show (which I don't call a sitcom since there's no laugh track or live studio audience) Arrested Development , where he plays the father who's in prison.Anyway, so one thing I remember on this job interview was that this Jeffrey Tambor guy was going on and on about his odd life trajectory, explaining how he got into the comic book business. He seemed to have just fallen into it, after lots of stints doing this and that (including a year at law school); he just sort of decided he wanted to start printing comic books or whatever. And he started talking about what he was looking for in an employee, and he illustratively talked about someone he had once interviewed for a position.

For this candidate, the Jeffrey Tambor guy had called up one of his former employers (people still did that in those days, Coop) and asked whether this candidate was someone who could be recommended for a job. The guy at the other end of the line said (and the Jeffrey Tambor related this in his lispy voice, so try to imagine that): "He'sss a lovely guy ... He'sss a lovely guy, but no attenssshion to detail at all!"
Well, I never got a job offer from them, but I figure it was because of that Rodriguez/Gonzalez screwup.
He came up with grist when he asked me to pass the "gravy cheese". Without my aue background I would have been completely lost. As it was, I handed over the Parmesan cheese shaker.

"Gravy cheese"? How does that work?
Matti
He came up with grist when he asked me to pass the "gravy cheese". Without my aue background I would have been completely lost. As it was, I handed over the Parmesan cheese shaker.

"Gravy cheese"? How does that work?
Matti
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He came up with grist when he asked me to ... As it was, I handed over the Parmesan cheese shaker.

"Gravy cheese"? How does that work?

Easy-peasey. "Gravy" is Italian-American
for tomato-based pasta sauce.
"Gravy cheese"? How does that work?

Easy-peasey. "Gravy" is Italian-American for tomato-based pasta sauce.

Not in general; my Eastern Massachusetts/Northeastern New Jersey Italian-American relatives don't use it; in fact, I've personally only encountered this use of "gravy" in Italiansploitation(TM) films and TV shows. I gather that it was a New York-area thing, and is probably uncommon among post-Sputniks.
To the right of me was a relative of the ... "Bensonhurst" which I believe is near another suburb called "Brooklyn".

Bensonhurst is a neighborhood of Brooklyn. If I walked out the door of my Gravesend, Brooklyn house I could be in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.

Which reminds me of more grist..several people at the church used the term "graveyard" when we were milling around waiting for the procession to begin.
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