So this guy walks into a quiet bar..

He's feeling bad about things and he sits down by himself. He yells over to the barman at the other end and asks for a beer. A few seconds later he hears a voice

"nice jacket"
"Thanks!" he says to the barman
"I didn't say anything" the barman replies

So he shrugs, moments later he gets his beer and the barman disappears off. He's sitting quietly when suddenly he hears:

"You're looking great today!"
"Who said that?" he replies

There's noone around at all, then another voice..

"You've lost weight"
"Who's there, who said that" he yells..

The barman comes running back in:

"What's wrong, why are you screaming"
"There's someone speaking to me, telling me i look great and stuff, what's going on?!!"
"O don't worry about that, it's only the peanuts, they're complimentary!"
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I like that one a lot - i'll try it on my advanced students tomorrow!

haha nice joke hitchhiker!
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Two hydrongen atoms walk into a bar.
One says " I have lost my electron"
the other says, "Are You sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I am positive"

And a romantic one!.

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

i have got another on the verge, should I post it?
hehe, told that one to a bunch of people.. Great stuff MaJ!Emotion: smile
reception was brilliant! LOL

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 73 years
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really? Like a baby?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I have just made a mess my pants."
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
heheEmotion: smile I've got a few business partners who'd appreciate that ..
have you got any more good ones Frank?
Nope i'm all out, there was some shmooliette told me once, but she'd better post them (i'll get it wrong!) (The stick! The stick!)
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