Heey, could gg please correct my essay. I need to know wheter you think it 
strong, cohesive, worth an A, and what you think of the structure, what spelling errors I made etc..

It's not for university but for secondary school class four. thanks in advance..

Brutus, an honourable man

Until the very end Marcus Junius Brutus served his moral obligations and died honourably committing suicide for the sake of his Rome. However, does Brutus fairly deserve the courtly/magnanimous title of an truthful/heroic roman ?

Before the assassination of Julius Caesar took place, Brutus led a good life with his wife, Portia. He had an overambitious steph-father, Julius Caesar who trusted and loved him like he were his own blood, not to forget they both were close friends for a long time before the devastating/tragic play. Brutus was truly ardent to his city, Rome and therefore willing to do anything to protect it from evil. Brutus and the conspirators saw/felt that Caesar was becoming more powerful with the day and they thought that he would hurt Rome if he were to become a dictator. Unless someone kills him, he will definitely become a dictator.  'Baby serpent is still in his egg, destroy before it comes out''  Brutus gets confronted with this great responsibility. He has to choose between friendship with Caesar or being obsequious to the city of Rome and its people. This is evidently an incredibly difficult problem he has to face and a decision he has to make. Brutus realises his own fears are turning into reality, Caesar may be growing to powerful. He chooses to demonstrate his honour, which according to many people and Brutus himself is believed to be an act of honesty, integrity, courage and loyalty, nevertheless it meant joining the conspiracy and killing Caesar, his steph-father and friend. 

 After examining Brutus' relationship to Caesar, his importance to the plot and his involvement in the conspiracy, the truth can be revealed. Brutus continues the conspiracy and as the Ides of March have come, a question subsequently derives: ''To do, or not to do?''  The impressive words of the soothsayer: Beware of the Ides of March, suddenly seem to turn into reality. Brutus, suffering from Jingoism continues and finishes what he started. While other stabbed Caesar in the back, Marcus Brutus stabbed Caesar in the face. Eventually great Julius Caesar dies saying in latin: ''Es tu, Brute?--Then fall, Caesar.'' (act 3, scene 1, line 77), meaning ''Even you, Brutus?''. Caesar had always fully trusted his close companion, his angel, Brutus. and thus these words indicate Caesar's astonishment and confusion of such ingratitude and  betrayal, something that had never crossed his mind and never would until the most unkindest deeds proved him wrong and he died from a broken heart. Caesar's ambitions had him murdered. We sure learned that a friendship can be exceptionally beautiful, sublime and tender but also unbearably hideous, hard and cruel.

 Eventhough Brutus did show his sincere sorrow after the death of his friend Caesar saying he didn't love him less, but he loved Rome more, It is not justifying to mitigate such a ruthless action. Now that the ominous threat had been diminished and Caesar had died, Brutus believed this to be symbolic to one of those transitional moments of a nation that would linger more profoundly in everyones memory than any other as a beginning of something beautiful. Believing the play to be over, Anthony and Octavius appear in the scene taking the lead on behalf of Caesar and. Instead of bringing liberty, freedom and enfranchisement to the city Brutus and the conspirators had caused more instability. The cut grows bigger and everything becomes a flame. Brutus rather commits suicide, dying honourably than being captured by anyone. I believe this act of desperation rather to be cowardly than courageous. He rather had himself dead than being dragged through the streets of Rome.

Why couldn't Brutus just talk to Caesar and sort things out? Why didn't Brutus tell anything to Portia?Why did Brutus give such a finite/definite punishment to Caesar, for something that wasn't happened yet? Did their intimate connection, their friendship meant nothing to him? Such questions naturally arise when identifying Brutus. Caesar wasn't all that righteous either, but the obstinate, oaf or impure he might be, he was honest  and trustworthy facing Brutus. If Brutus fairly wanted to hinder Caesar he should have done it as a real opponent and not behind his back. Brutus was in fact the most important person in the conspiracy, because without him the conspirators, fully crediting Cassius, would not have continued, because afterwards they would have no insurance. Cassius cleverly persuaded Brutus and Brutus allowed to be manipulated to participate Caesar' elimination to help the Roman Empire from a dictator. People dearly loved Brutus and therefore believed the assassination of Caesar to be for the better. Again if Brutus would not have taken part in this, the conspirators would most probably be beheaded. There would basically be no tragedy if Marcus Brutus wasn't present in this tragedy of Julius Caesar. Brutus was either cleverly bad or his inattentiveness being naive and bad judge of character held him in its grasp.

Caesar could and probably would have paid attention to what Brutus had to say and biased misjudgments could have been altered and no blood had to be shed. Brutus has torn his house to shreds, the peace and quiet was gone in Rome. Also the fact that Brutus didn't tell his wife about his vicious, good-natured plans show that, women were not considered to be important. They were there only to be fertile and weak. Telling her might have been a good idea, she might have not been struck by despair and could mentally support or stop Brutus from what was feared. For those Brutus did all of this, couldn't help his and his families state of being. 

We each feel our own unique pressure to choose a path towards what our heart tells us to do. Brutus chose his, regretting and remorsing it afterwards. His unfaithfulness to Caesar, his mistakes, his impatience and the nonsensical irresolution that took over cost him everything. He most definitely deserves the title of an hero, a tragic and naive hero. He has suffered all anguishes he possibly could on earth: betrayed a friend, lost a friend, lost his wife and lost the battle leaving Rome in a volatile state.

written by Faisal.S
it's really important, so if anyone like to take a look at it.
Please be patient. We come here as volunteers. I'm not sure if you're writing about the play real life. If you're talking about the play, you should say something like "In William Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar, the reader has to decide whether Brutus was ..." I'm pretty sure you mean the play. Okay, I'm not further into the essay and you clearly mean the play. You need to set this up better.

Your tenses go back and forth - use the past consistently.
faisal112Heey, could gg please correct my essay. I need to know wheter you think it

strong, cohesive, worth an A, and what you think of the structure, what spelling errors I made etc..

It's not for university but for secondary school class four. thanks in advance..

Brutus, an honourable man -Titles are capitalized. Honorable Man

Until the very end Marcus Junius What is "Marcus Junius"? , Brutus served his moral obligations and died honourably committing suicide for the sake of his Rome. However, does Brutus fairly deserve the courtly/magnanimous title of an truthful/heroic Roman ?

Before the assassination of Julius Caesar took place, Brutus led a good life with his wife, Portia. He had an overambitious steph-father, Julius Caesar, who trusted and loved him like as though he were his own blood. They were also , not to forget they both were close friends for a long time before the devastating/tragic play. What do you mean here? There was a play, and there was a real person. Within the play, there was no "before the play." In real life, there was no play at all. Brutus was truly ardent - wrong word - not sure what you mean to his city, Rome, and therefore willing to do anything to protect it from evil. Brutus and the conspirators saw/felt that Caesar was becoming more powerful with the every day and they thought that he would hurt Rome if he were to become a dictator, which they though would happen unless someone killed him. Isn't the emporer already a dictator? Unless someone kills him, he will definitely become a dictator.

'Baby serpent is still in his egg, destroy before it comes out'' What is this quote from? Brutus gets was confronted with this great responsibility. He had to choose between his friendship with Caesar and being obsequious This is also not the right word to the city of Rome and its people. This was evidently an incredibly difficult problem he has to face and a decision he has to make. Brutus realised his own fears were turning into reality, and Caesar was may be growing too powerful. He chose to demonstrate his honour. According to many people and Brutus himself, it was believed to be an act of honesty, integrity, courage and loyalty. Nevertheless, it meant joining the conspiracy and killing Caesar, his steph-father and friend.

After examining Brutus' relationship with Caesar, his importance to the plot and his involvement in the conspiracy, the truth can be revealed. What is that truth that is relevealed? Brutus continues the conspiracy and as the Ides of March approach have come, he must face the question subsequently derives: To do, or not to do? The impressive words of the soothsayer "Beware of the Ides of March," suddenly seem to turn into reality. You've used this phrase already. Try another Brutus, suffering from Jingoism, what is Jingoism? continues and finishes what he started. While other stabbed Caesar in the back, Marcus Brutus This is the first time you used his full name. It's better to start with the full name and then go to the abbreviated version, and not stick the full name for the first time in the middle. stabbed Caesar in the face. I'm pretty sure he didn't stab in him the face. Perhaps you mean in his chest. Eventually, the great Julius Caesar dies, saying in Latin: Es tu, Brute?--Then fall, Caesar. (act 3, scene 1, line 77), meaning Even you, Brutus?. Caesar had always fully trusted his close companion, his angel - word choice, Brutus,. and thus these words indicate Caesar's astonishment and confusion of such ingratitude and betrayal, something that had never crossed his mind and never would until the most unkindest deeds proved him wrong and he died from a broken heart. This sentence is way too long and reads like you cut it from another source. Are these really all your own words? Caesar's ambitions had him murdered. We sure learned that a friendship can be exceptionally beautiful, sublime and tender but also unbearably hideous, hard and cruel.Is that what we learn? Do you think the friendship was cruel? Perhaps we learn that men must put country over friendship.

Eventhough Brutus did show his sincere sorrow after the death of his friend Caesar saying he didn't love him less, but he loved Rome more,. It is not justifying to mitigate such a ruthless action - this sentence needs work. Once Now that the ominous threat had been diminished and Caesar had died, Brutus believed this what is "this"? His death? to be symbolic to one of those transitional moments of a nation that would linger more profoundly in everyone's memory than any other as a beginning of something beautiful This sentence also needs work. Believing the play to be over again, what do you mean? What play? , Anthony and Octavius appear in the scene taking the lead on behalf of Caesar and. Instead of bringing liberty, freedom and enfranchisement wrong word to the city, Brutus and the conspirators had caused more instability. The cut grows bigger and everything becomes aflame. Do you mean this literally? The city burns? Brutus rather commits suicide, dying honourably, rather than being captured by anyone. I believe this act of desperation rather to be cowardly rather than courageous. He preferred death to rather had himself dead than being dragged through the streets of Rome.

Why couldn't Brutus just talk to Caesar and sort things out? Why didn't Brutus tell anything to Portia? Why did Brutus give such a finite/definite punishment to Caesar, for something that hadn't wasn't happened yet? Did their intimate connection, their friendship meant nothing to him? Such questions naturally arise when identifying wrong word Brutus. Caesar wasn't all that righteous either, this is very casual speech - not suitable for an essay but the obstinate, oaf or impure did you mean to use these words? he might be, he was honest and trustworthy facing Brutus. If Brutus fairly wanted to hinder Caesar he should have done it as a real opponent and not behind his back. Brutus was in fact the most important person in the conspiracy. Without him the conspirators, fully crediting what do you mean "crediting"? Cassius, would not have continued, because afterwards they would have no insurance. Insurance for what? Cassius cleverly persuaded Brutus and Brutus allowed himself? to be manipulated to participate in Caesar' elimination to help the Roman Empire escape? from a dictator. People dearly loved Brutus and therefore believed the assassination of Caesar to be for the better. Again If Brutus would had not have taken part in the assasination this, the conspirators would most probably have been beheaded. There would basically be no tragedy if Marcus Brutus wasn't present in this tragedy of Julius Caesar. How do you think so? Brutus was either cleverly bad or his inattentiveness being naive and bad judge of character held him in its grasp. This sentence needs work. Pick one. Was he evil? Was he weak? Was he short-sighted?

Fix the tenses in the following - too many for me to do

Caesar could and probably would have paid attention to what Brutus had to say and biased misjudgments could have been altered and no blood had to be shed. Brutus has torn his house to shreds, the peace and quiet was gone in Rome. Also the fact that Brutus didn't tell his wife about his vicious, good-natured something that is "vicious" is not "good natured" plans show that, women were not considered to be important. Maybe it showed that he didn't want to talk about treason with his wife so she could continue to be blameless. They were there only to be fertile and weak. Telling her might have been a good idea. She might have not been struck by despair and could mentally support or stop Brutus from what was feared. For those "those" what?Brutus did all of this, and couldn't help his and his family's state of being.

We each feel our own unique pressure to choose a path towards what our heart tells us to do. Brutus chose his, regretting and remorsing it afterwards. His unfaithfulness to Caesar, his mistakes, his impatience and the nonsensical irresolution that took over cost him everything. He most definitely deserves the title of an hero, a tragic and naive hero. He has suffered all anguishes he possibly could on earth: betrayed a friend, lost a friend, lost his wife and lost the battle, leaving Rome in a volatile state. How does that make him a hero? Heros are great but for one tragic flaw. You've just described a basically worthless person.

written by Faisal.S

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
No slashes in formal writing. Also, content wise it is rather good, but it does not deserve an "A".
Caesar, wasn't a dictator he was going towards becoming one.

Marcus Junius Brutus, is his full name

with ardent I meant loyal, but that didnt work out, hihiih, 

jingoism, is extreme patriotism

and the truth that can be revealed is of course what brutus will do....

I'd really like to thank you for the help. I'm sorry I was very unpatient. 

merci beaucoup!