I have an exam in Jan-2020 end. Please help me to review my essays and letters. Thank you

Some say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is thought by many that sport is just a leisure activity while others believe that it plays a key role in the society development. In my view, sports play a significant role in developing society.

On the one hand, many believe that people play sports and games in order to pass their time. The reason is that because many of them do not make their professional careers in physical activities, instead they see them as their hobby. They do not care for society or cultural values and consider them as stress-relief activities. However, they do not realize that many tournaments bring people together. For example, in cricket matches of England and Australia, most citizens of the European Union support England despite political differences. This is because England is the part of the European Union.

On the other hand, some are of the view that playing tournaments is they key in the development of society. When any team participates in a game, they usually have numerous supporters who share the common values. In other words, in spite of many differences among them, they support the same team in order to show unity and motive their team. For instance, there are many cultural and social differences among local citizens of Spain and they support their local clubs in domestic games. But when Spain plays a match against any other country, they unanimously support their country without thinking about cultures or race.

In conclusion, although many view sports and games as a time-pass activity, I take the view that it plays a decisive role in the society development.

It is thought by many that sport is just a leisure activity while others believe that it plays a key role in the society development. In my view, sports play a significant role in developing society.


(You copied most of the phrases in the essay prompt. You will get a better score if you use your own words. In particular, what does 'developing society" mean to you?

People are of two minds on the subject of how important sports is in the advancement of a peaceful, harmonious culture with better relationships with our neighbor nations. One side believes that it is only for entertainment, personal fitness and having fun; the other asserts that it is key to strengthening the feeling of community and avoiding wars and conflicts.


On the one hand, many believe that people play sports and games in order to pass their time. The reason is that because many of them do not make their professional careers in physical activities, instead they see them as a their hobby. They do not care for society or cultural values and consider them as stress-relieving activities. However, they do not realize that many tournaments can bring people together. For example, in cricket matches of England and Australia, most citizens of the European Union support England despite their political differences. This is because England is the part of the European Union.

On the other hand, some are of the view that playing tournaments is they (wrong word) key in the development of society. When any team participates in a game, they usually have numerous supporters who share the common values. In other words, in spite of many differences among them, they support the same team in order to show unity and motive (wrong word) their team. For instance, there are many cultural and social differences among local citizens of Spain and they support their local clubs in domestic games. But when Spain plays a match against any other country, they unanimously support their country without thinking about cultures or race.

In conclusion, although many view sports and games as a time-pass (wrong word) activity, I take the view that it plays a decisive role in the society development. (wrong phrasing. Besides, you never explained to the reader what you mean by "the development of society." )

Thank you very much for your feedback and guidance. I will read more about society development so that I can write a better essay.

May I ask few things.

1) The reason is that because many of them...…[in this sentence, why you have deleted "that"]

2) although many view sports and games as a time-pass (wrong word) activity.....[in this sentence, can I use 'pastime activity' in place of time-pass activity.]

Thank you again.

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

Thank you very much for your feedback and guidance. I will read more about society development so that I can write a better essay.

May I ask few things.

1) The reason is that because many of them...…[in this sentence, why you have deleted "that"]

2) although many view sports and games as a time-pass (wrong word) activity.....[in this sentence, can I use 'pastime activity' in place of time-pass activity.]

Thank you again.