Dear English froum Teachers

I have posted my SOP here! Any one of us correct my SOP, If I am wrong wtih this one. Thanks in advance

Statement of Purpose

"I am currently employed in a job with tremendous opportunities and advancements. Being in a well-paid job at Molecular Connections Pvt. Ltd., in Bangalore, I have been recognized and lauded for my biochemistry knowledge. Moreover, I enjoy intellectual interactions with my Ph.D. colleagues, have many friends, and am trained to think and solve problems. Consistently my peers place me in leadership position, and I have a reputation for doing work well beyond what is expected. Still, I feel a vacuum in my life. While my friends and colleagues do not understand my decision to leave my rewarding career, I know that I have no choice if I am to pursue my long-term goal and my childhood dream: to teach and publish research. To my knowledge I have made the correct decision, instead my friends think I am sacrificing certain career advancement for unnecessary training. What they do not understand is that I will derive even greater satisfaction by pursuing a doctoral degree than by earning a higher salary and advancing in my present career. By pursuing a graduate degree, I will have the priceless opportunity to realize my dream.

Learning gives me a sense of accomplishment and a world of satisfaction. The more I learn, the more fulfilled I feel. I do not learn solely to apply my knowledge in a practical setting; instead, it is the quest for knowledge and the challenge of learning that motivates me. Originally, I took my current job since I saw it as an invaluable opportunity to further my learning experience. Over the past two years, I have accumulated a good knowledge of Drug Discovery, Chemo informatics and Bioinformatics. Also I was experienced in annotation of research articles and patents of cellular targets like Ion channels, GPCR, Nuclear receptors, Cellular enzymes like (Kinase, Protease, Phosphodesterase, Viral Enzymes), etc.

Perhaps most importantly, my current job have less contribution in line with my long-term career objective of teaching, conducting research, and producing research publications that would add value and contribute to my field of specialization. I am driven more by my dreams rather than money and the prestige of an excellent career. I also hope to contribute to society; as a professor by disseminating my knowledge. An inspired teacher can bring out talents, encourage innovation and nurture a new generation of scientists and philosophers. I always want to inspire others in the teaching process in addition to conveying knowledge of the curriculum.

A research career in neurobiology is my thirst. In my opinion there is no scientific study more vital to man than the study of his own brain. Many neuroscientists have learnt plenty about functioning of brain, but they admit there is many aspects remain one among humanity’s most enduring mysteries. I have clearly envisaged my path in Neurobiological research and highly convinced that, stakes in this new and fast growing field is extensive. I would like to make my contribution to unravel the mysteries in Neurobiology

Excited by the idea of becoming a scientist since I was a child, my interests in pursuing graduate studies intensified during my undergraduate education and my basic research. Having a thirst for Biology, I pursued my graduation in Biochemistry in prestigious Vysya College, although I opted for computer science in twelfth grade. With chemistry background I excelled in my under graduate studies. The core subject became very interesting in the hands of experienced faculties. It even allowed me to take Biochemistry tuition for twelfth grade students in my third year stint. That tutoring experience secured me 1st grade in Human Physiology and Cell Biology.

Being a day scholar I worked as a part time trainee in renowned clinical laboratory with out stipend. There I learnt molecular techniques and research approach towards Molecular biology. I have undergone a laboratory course exclusively for electrophoresis techniques at THE ELECTROPHORESIS INSTITUTE. My quest for advancements in Biological sciences lured me once again towards clinical laboratory work that I undertook in Gopi Hospitals. One person’s life influences the lives of an unbelievable number of people goes the saying, one of the most important lessons I learned, being the representative at Bachelor degree level (Under graduation). This experience inculcated and educated me to be a responsible person and eventually boosted my confidence. It also taught me that the basis for good work is self-reliance and very importantly, time management. Not all of my entire three years were devoid of shortcomings. I learned to accept both criticisms and praise with a positive frame of mind. My work involved organizing various events, which gave me the opportunity to work and interact with various kinds of people. This was a distinctively gratifying experience for me, which I feel would stand in good stead in the future, especially in lieu of my teaching experience.

I pursued my post graduation in Biochemistry for attaining the basic eligibility to do research. The core subject inspired me a lot to take basics of Biochemistry to UG students. I involved myself in many self-help initiatives such as paper and poster presentations in various state level seminars. As a partial fulfillment of my post graduation I worked in Central Leather Research Institute (CLRI-ADYAR) in the Department of Bioproducts. There I worked on protein purification and its characterization that provided me a clear perspective of research and aided me to learn other molecular techniques.

As a prerequisite for registering a PhD in Neurobiology, I have undergone an intense training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences by attending course in Laboratory Animal Management. This stint gave me a practical exposure to isolate brain and its major parts. Drug administration and sample collections techniques with Laboratory animals are vital part of this course.

Thus my journey from undergraduate to current job is highly planned one. Thus I believe that my serious intention for study, my work experience in Laboratories and academic background in various areas of Biochemistry, will be more beneficial for my research work in your esteemed laboratory."

I am eagerly waiting for your suggestions to correct my english.

Thank you for your time and consideration

Yours sincerely

Shanawaz Mohammed
1 2
Shanawaz MohammedDear English froum Teachers

I have posted my SOP here! Any one of us correct my SOP, If I am wrong wtih this one. Thanks in advance

Statement of Purpose

"I am currently was employed in a job with tremendous opportunities and advancements. Being in a well-paid job at Molecular Connections Pvt. Ltd., in Bangalore, I havbeen recognized by many people and lauded for my biochemistry knowledge. Moreover, I enjoy intellectual interactions with my Ph.D. colleagues, have having many friends, and am trained to think and solve problems. Consistently, my peers have placed me in a leadership position, and I have a reputation for doing works very well beyond what is expected. Still, I feel a vacuum (seems out of place. Or is it just me?) in my life. While my friends and colleagues do not understand my decision to leave my rewarding career, I know that I have no choice if I am to pursue my long-term goal and my childhood dream: to teach and publish research. To my knowledge I have made the correct decision, instead my friends think I am sacrificing certain career advancement for an unnecessary training. What they do not understand is that I will derive even greater satisfaction by pursuing a doctoral degree than by earning a higher salary and advancing in my present career. By pursuing a graduate degree, I will have the priceless opportunity to realize my dream.


Learning gives me a sense of accomplishment and a world of satisfaction. The more I learn, the more fulfilled I feel. I do not learn solely to apply my knowledge in a practical setting; instead, it is the quest for knowledge and the challenge of learning that motivates me. Originally, I took my current job since I saw it as an invaluable opportunity to further my learning experiences. Over the past two years, I have accumulated a good knowledge of Drug Discovery, Chemo informatics, and Bioinformatics. Also I also was experienced in an annotation of research articles and patents of cellular targets like Ion channels, GPCR, Nuclear receptors, Cellular enzymes like (Kinase, Protease, Phosphodesterase, Viral Enzymes), etc.

Perhaps most importantly, my current job have less contribution in line with my long-term career objective of teaching, conducting research, and producing research publications that would add value and contribute to my field of specialization. I am driven more by my dreams rather than money and the prestige of an excellent career. I also hope to contribute to society; as a professor by disseminating my knowledge. An inspired teacher can bring out talents, encourage innovation, and nurture a new generation of scientists and philosophers. I always want to inspire others in the teaching process in addition to conveying knowledge of the curriculum.

A research career in neurobiology is my thirst. In my opinion, there is no scientific study that is more vital to man than the study of his own brain. Many neuroscientists have learnt plenty about functioning of the brain, but they admitted there is are many aspects remain one among humanity’s most enduring mysteries. I have clearly envisaged my path in Neurobiological research and highly convinced that stakes in this new and fast growing field is extensive. I would like to make my contribution to unravel the mysteries in Neurobiology.

Excited by the idea of becoming a scientist since I was a child, my interests in pursuing graduate studies intensified during my undergraduate education and my basic research. Having a thirst for Biology, I pursued my graduation in Biochemistry in prestigious Vysya College, although I opted for computer science in twelfth grade. With chemistry background, I excelled in my under graduate studies. The core subject became very interesting in the hands of experienced faculties. It even allowed me to take Biochemistry tuition for twelfth grade students in my third year stint. That tutoring experience secured me 1st grade in Human Physiology and Cell Biology.

Being a day scholar, I worked as a part time trainee in renowned clinical laboratory with out without stipend. There I learnt molecular techniques and research approach towards Molecular biology. I have undergone a laboratory course exclusively for electrophoresis techniques at THE ELECTROPHORESIS INSTITUTE. My quest for advancements in Biological sciences lured me once again towards clinical laboratory work that I undertook in Gopi Hospitals. "One person’s life influences the lives of an unbelievable number of people" goes the saying, one of the most important lessons I have learned, being the representative at Bachelor degree level (Under graduation). This experience inculcated and educated me to be a responsible person and eventually boosted my confidence. It also taught me that the basis for good work is self-reliance and very importantly, the time management. Not all of my entire three years were devoid of shortcomings. I have learned to accept both constructive criticisms and praises with a positive frame of mind. My work involved organizing various events, which gave me the opportunity to work and interact with various kinds of people. This was a distinctively gratifying experience for from me, which I feel would stand in good stead in the future, especially in lieu of my teaching experience.

I have pursued my post graduation in Biochemistry for attaining the basic eligibility to do research. The core subject inspired me a lot to take basics of Biochemistry to UG students. I involved myself in many self-help initiatives such as paper and poster presentations in various state level seminars. As a partial fulfillment of my post graduation, I worked in Central Leather Research Institute (CLRI-ADYAR) in the Department of Bioproducts. There I worked on a protein purification and its characterization that provided me a clear perspective of research and aided me to learn other molecular techniques. (Redundant. Rephrase).

As a prerequisite for registering a PhD in Neurobiology, I have undergone an intense training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences by attending course in Laboratory Animal Management. This stint gave me a practical exposure to isolate brain and its major parts. Drug administration and sample collections techniques with Laboratory animals are vital part of this course.
Thus my journey from undergraduate to current job is highly planned one. Thus I believe that my serious intention for study, my work experience in Laboratories and academic background in various areas of Biochemistry, will be more beneficial for my research work in your esteemed laboratory.

Mr. Proofread's note: Lacking parallels. Go find it.

Dear Mr. Proof read

Thank you for your timely help. I do correct my motivation letter as per your suggestion. Once again thank you very much for your help.
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Dear Mr. Proof read

Thank you for your timely help. I do correct my motivation letter as per your suggestions. Once again I thank you very much for your time and consideration

Regards
Shanawaz Mohammed
Mr Proofread has made several unnecessary changes and ignored several errors. Wait until I get to my own computer at home later this evening, and I will check your letter, Shanawaz.

And please post an acknowledgement so that I can find this thread again!

MM
Mister MicawberMr Proofread has made several unnecessary changes and ignored several errors. Wait until I get to my own computer at home later this evening, and I will check your letter, Shanawaz.

And please post an acknowledgement so that I can find this thread again!

MM

Emotion: smile
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Ah, I found it myself. Here you are:

Statement of Purpose

I am currently employed in a position with tremendous opportunity for advancement in Bangalore at Molecular Connections Pvt. Ltd. I have been recognized and lauded for my knowledge of biochemistry, and I enjoy intellectual interactions with my Ph.D. colleagues; I am trained to think logically and solve problems. Consistently my peers place me in a leadership position, and I have a reputation for performing well beyond what is expected. Still, I feel an empty place in my life. While my friends and colleagues do not understand my decision to leave this rewarding career, I know that I have no choice if I am to pursue my long-term goal and my childhood dream: to teach and to publish research. I think that I have made the right decision, although my friends think I am sacrificing certain career advancement for superfluous training. What they do not understand is that I will derive even greater satisfaction from pursuing a doctoral degree than by earning a higher salary and advancing in my present career. By pursuing a graduate degree, I will have the priceless opportunity to realize my dream.

Learning gives me a sense of accomplishment and a world of satisfaction. The more I learn, the more fulfilled I feel. I do not learn solely to apply my knowledge in a practical setting; instead, it is the quest for knowledge and the challenge of learning that motivates me. Initially, I saw my current job as an valuable opportunity to further my learning experience, and indeed, over the past two years, I have acquired a broad knowledge of drug discovery, chemoinformatics and bioinformatics. I have also gained experience in annotation of research articles and patents for cellular targets like ion channels, GPCR, nuclear receptors, cellular enzymes (kinase, protease, phosphodesterase, viral enzymes), etc.

But perhaps more importantly, my current job has contributed less toward my long-term career objective of teaching, and conducting and publishing research that would contribute to my field of specialization. I am driven more by my dreams than money and the prestige of a commercial career: I also hope to contribute to society by disseminating my knowledge as an academician. An inspired teacher can bring out talents, encourage innovation and nurture a new generation of scientists and philosophers. I have always wanted to inspire others through the teaching process in addition to conveying knowledge through the curriculum.

A research career in neurobiology is my life goal. In my opinion, there is no scientific study more vital to man than the study of his own brain. Neuroscientists have learnt a considerable amount about the functioning of the brain, but they admit that it remains one of humanity’s most enduring mysteries. I have clearly envisaged my path in neurobiological research and am convinced that the stakes in this new and fast growing field are critical. I would like to make my contribution to unravelling the mysteries of neurobiology.

Excited by the idea of becoming a scientist since I was a child, my interest in pursuing graduate studies intensified during my undergraduate education and my initial research. Having a thirst for biology, I pursued my degree in Biochemistry at prestigious Vysya College, although I had opted for computer science in secondary school. With a chemistry background, I excelled in my undergraduate studies. My core subject became very interesting under the tutelage of an experienced faculty. I was even allowed to take biochemistry for twelfth grade students in my eleventh year. That opportunity secured me a 1st grade in Human Physiology and Cell Biology.

As a day scholar, I worked as a part-time trainee in their renowned clinical laboratory without salary. There I learnt molecular techniques and research approaches in molecular biology. I have undergone a laboratory course exclusively for electrophoresis techniques at the Electrophoresis Institute. My quest for advancement in biological sciences encouraged me to undertake clinical laboratory work at Gopi Hospitals. "One person’s life influences the lives of an unbelievable number of people," goes the saying, one of the most important lessons I have learnt. This experience taught me to be a responsible person and boosted my confidence. It also taught me that the basis for good work is self-reliance and very importantly, time management. Not all of these three years were free of shortcomings. I learnt [you used this spelling initially, and you should be consistent] to accept both criticism and praise with a positive frame of mind. My work involved organizing various events, which gave me the opportunity to work and interact with various kinds of people. This was a very gratifying experience for me, which I feel will stand me in good stead in the future.

I pursued my postgraduate degree in Biochemistry in order to gain basic eligibility for research. The core subject inspired me to carry the basics of biochemistry to undergraduate students, and I involved myself in self-help initiatives such as paper and poster presentations at various state-level seminars. In partial fulfillment of my postgraduate degree, I worked at the Central Leather Research Institute (CLRI-ADYAR) in the Department of Bioproducts. There, I worked on protein purification and its characterizations, which provided me a clear perspective of research and aided me in acquiring other molecular techniques.

As a prerequisite for attaining a PhD in Neurobiology, I have undergone intense training at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences by attending a course in Laboratory Animal Management. This course gave me practical exposure to isolating the brain and its major components. Drug administration and sample collection techniques with laboratory animals are fundamental parts of this course.

My journey so far, from undergraduate to current occupation, has been carefully planned. I believe that my serious intention to study further, my work experience in laboratories and academic background in various areas of biochemistry, will be very beneficial for my research work in your laboratory.

Overall, your letter is very verbose, Shanawaz, and I fear that they may think you will talk them to death if they accept you. Nevertheless, I have cut and/or simplified very little of your letter. I suggest that you go through it again yourself, and see if you cannot eliminate at least a paragraph or so.
MM
Dear Mister Micawber

I heartly thank you for your valuable effort to correct my letter. Moreover I will reduce the words from my motivation letter and post it again shortly. Kindly recheck and suggest me. Thank you once again Mr. Micawber

Regards

Shanawaz Mohammed
Dear Mister Micawber

I heartly thank you for your effort to correct my lengthy letter. I have cut short my essay by reducing one paragraph as per your suggestion. Kindly check my letter and suggest me Micawber.

I am very eager to hear from you!
Regards
Shanawaz Mohammed

Statememt of Purpose

I am currently employed in a position with tremendous opportunity for advancement in Bangalore at Molecular Connections Pvt. Ltd. I have been recognized and lauded for my knowledge of biochemistry, and I enjoy intellectual interactions with my Ph.D. colleagues; I am trained to think logically and solve problems. Consistently my peers place me in a leadership position, and I have a reputation for performing well beyond what is expected. Still, I feel an empty place in my life. While my friends and colleagues do not understand my decision to leave this rewarding career, I know that I have no choice if I am to pursue my long-term goal and my childhood dream: to teach and to publish research. I think that I have made the right decision, although my friends think I am sacrificing certain career advancement for superfluous training. What they do not understand is that I will derive even greater satisfaction from pursuing a doctoral degree than by earning a higher salary and advancing in my present career. By pursuing a graduate degree, I will have the priceless opportunity to realize my dream.

Initially, I saw my current job as an valuable opportunity to further my learning experience, and indeed, over the past two years, I have acquired a broad knowledge of drug discovery, chemoinformatics and bioinformatics.But perhaps more importantly, my current job has contributed less toward my long-term career objective of teaching, and conducting and publishing research that would contribute to my field of specialization. I am driven more by my dreams than money and the prestige of a commercial career: I also hope to contribute to society by disseminating my knowledge as an academician.

A research career in neurobiology is my life goal. In my opinion, there is no scientific study more vital to man than the study of his own brain. Neuroscientists have learnt a considerable amount about the functioning of the brain, but they admit that it remains one of humanity’s most enduring mysteries. I have clearly envisaged my path in neurobiological research and am convinced that the stakes in this new and fast growing field are critical. I would like to make my contribution to unravelling the mysteries of neurobiology.

Excited by the idea of becoming a scientist since I was a child, my interest in pursuing graduate studies intensified during my undergraduate education and my initial research. Having a thirst for biology, I pursued my degree in Biochemistry at prestigious Vysya College, although I had opted for computer science in secondary school. With a chemistry background, I excelled in my undergraduate studies. My core subject became very interesting under the tutelage of an experienced faculty. I was even allowed to take biochemistry for twelfth grade students in my eleventh year. That opportunity secured me a 1st grade in Human Physiology and Cell Biology.

As a day scholar, I worked as a part-time trainee in their renowned clinical laboratory without salary. There I learnt molecular techniques and research approaches in molecular biology. I have undergone a laboratory course exclusively for electrophoresis techniques at the Electrophoresis Institute. My quest for advancement in biological sciences encouraged me to undertake clinical laboratory work at Gopi Hospitals. "One person’s life influences the lives of an unbelievable number of people," goes the saying, one of the most important lessons I have learnt. This experience taught me to be a responsible person and boosted my confidence. It also taught me that the basis for good work is self-reliance and very importantly, time management. Not all of these three years were free of shortcomings. I learnt [you used this spelling initially, and you should be consistent] to accept both criticism and praise with a positive frame of mind. My work involved organizing various events, which gave me the opportunity to work and interact with various kinds of people. This was a very gratifying experience for me, which I feel will stand me in good stead in the future.

I pursued my postgraduate degree in Biochemistry in order to gain basic eligibility for research. The core subject inspired me to carry the basics of biochemistry to undergraduate students, and I involved myself in self-help initiatives such as paper and poster presentations at various state-level seminars. In partial fulfillment of my postgraduate degree, I worked at the Central Leather Research Institute (CLRI-ADYAR) in the Department of Bioproducts. There, I worked on protein purification and its characterizations, which provided me a clear perspective of research and aided me in acquiring other molecular techniques.

As a prerequisite for attaining a PhD in Neurobiology, I have undergone intense training at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences by attending a course in Laboratory Animal Management. This course gave me practical exposure to isolating the brain and its major components. Drug administration and sample collection techniques with laboratory animals are fundamental parts of this course.

My journey so far, from undergraduate to current occupation, has been carefully planned. I believe that my serious intention to study further, my work experience in laboratories and academic background in various areas of biochemistry, will be very beneficial for my research work in your laboratory.
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