Hi

Can you help?

Please point out the grammatical errors in this letter.

Dear Mr.....
I am V Suresh,faculty in English at Oakley Public School, Coimbatore.
I suppose the Principal of this institution Mrs Dorothy contacted you in Chennai a couple of days ago. We are very much interested in IAYP programme and would like our students to be the members of the same.
I have a little knowledge of this award programme: I started this IAYP Award Programme in Dr Vincent school in Madurai, when I was a faculty there. Being the award leader I attended two training sessions: One was at Sujatha Public School Hyderabad and the other was Sarla Birla Academy in Bangalore.
All the same it has been quite some time since I was an active member of this award programme.
I could not carry forward the award programme in Madurai due to lack of patronage from the parents.
Now at Oakley Public School, I think I will get due encouragement to begin and take the programme to a desired level. I already sense a considerable amount of interest and enthusiasm among the students to be a part of IAYP.

I am looking forward to hearing from you to proceed further.

Thank you

Sincerely yours,
Hi Suresh,

Can you help?

Please point out the grammatical errors in this letter.

Dear Mr..
I am V Suresh,faculty in English at Oakley Public School, Coimbatore.
I suppose the Principal of this institution Mrs Dorothy contacted you in Chennai a couple of days ago. We are very much interested in IAYP programme and would like our students to be the members of the same.
I have a little knowledge of this award programme: I started this IAYP Award Programme in Dr Vincent school in Madurai, when I was a faculty there. Being the award leader I attended two training sessions: One was at Sujatha Public School Hyderabad and the other was Sarla Birla Academy in Bangalore.
All the same it has been quite some time since I was an active member of this award programme.
I could not carry forward the award programme in Madurai due to lack of patronage from the parents.
Now at Oakley Public School, I think I will get due encouragement to begin and take the programme to a desired level. I already sense a considerable amount of interest and enthusiasm among the students to be a part of IAYP.

I am looking forward to hearing from you to proceed further.

Thank you

Sincerely yours,

I'm going to rewrite this in the style that I would use in Canada. However, I realize that things may be worded differently in Indian English, so you are the best one to deal with that.

First, a few general comments.

Don't start by stating your name. Just leave it at the end.

Begin by stating what you want to happen, ie why you are writing.

In Canada,the word 'faculty' is used only for university. A person there is 'a faculty member'.

You need to clarify to this person whether in future he should deal directly with you, or with your princiipal.

You need to make your paragraphs easier to discern.

Dear Mr..
I am a teacher of English at Oakley Public School, Coimbatore. I am writing to request . . . .


I believe the Principal of this institution, Mrs Dorothy Smith, contacted you in Chennai a couple of days ago. We are very much interested in the IAYP programme and would like our students to be members of it. I already have a little knowledge of this award programme. I started it at Dr Vincent School in Madurai, when I was a teacher there. As the programme leader, I attended two training sessions. One was at Sujatha Public School in Hyderabad and the other was at Sarla Birla Academy in Bangalore. All the same, it has been quite some time since I was an active member of this award programme. I could not carry it forward in Madurai due to lack of patronage from the parents.

Now at Oakley Public School, I feel I will get due suport to begin the programme and take it to a good level. I already sense a considerable amount of interest and enthusiasm among the students to be a part of IAYP.

I am looking forward to receiving your permission to proceed.


Thank you

Sincerely yours,
Hi Clive,

Thank you very much for the time you have spent and the effort have put in to help me.

I will certainly keep in mind the comments and suggestions you have given.

Suresh