dear Mr Barker I have had the opportunity to experience the training in your centre. While I have improved my job prospects, I need to express my dissatisfaction with the equipment and organization of the course. Firstly, over the course of my practise, many tools and materials were missing and the rest was severely damaged. This represented a huge life hazard. I myself was badly injured and I expect to be fully compensated for my inability to work over the course of the next two months. The centre has not been properly cleaned and basic hygienic cryterias were not fullfilled. I also had the chance to experience the canteen and was furthermore displeased. I was not presented the choice of the meal, since the kitchen prepares only one type of meal each day. The same as the centre the organization was not efficient enough. I found myself practising the sections of the course which I knew very well in advance and rushing through the parts in which I was newly introduced to and needed further exercise to master them. Overall I would propose to allow more spending on the equipment and to expand your canteen menu. It would be vital to set up a survey where each customer could rate the problematicity and the difficulty of the main training sections and then to adjust the time accordingly to the opinions expressed. Faithfully Patrik
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No-one wants to read a huge block of unorganized text like this. You need to organize it into paragraphs.

Do you know what a paragraph is? Have you studied the use of paragraphs yet?

Clive

Oh sorry. I copy pasted it here and it deleted the paragraphs. I will try to fix it.

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Dear Mr Barker


I have had the opportunity to experience the training in your centre. While I have improved my job prospects, I need to express my dissatisfaction with the equipment and organization of the course. Firstly, over the course of my practise, many tools and materials were missing and the rest was severely damaged. This represented a huge life hazard. I myself was badly injured and I expect to be fully compensated for my inability to work over the course of the next two months. The centre has not been properly cleaned and basic hygienic cryterias were not fulfilled. I also had the chance to experience the canteen and was furthermore displeased. I was not presented the choice of the meal, since the kitchen prepares only one type of meal each day. The same as the centre the organization was not efficient enough. I found myself practising the sections of the course which I knew very well in advance and rushing through the parts in which I was newly introduced to and needed further exercise to master them. Overall I would propose to allow more spending on the equipment and to expand your canteen menu. It would be vital to set up a survey where each customer could rate the problematicity and the difficulty of the main training sections and then to adjust the time accordingly to the opinions expressed.

Faithfully Patrik

I have recently had the opportunity to take a experience the training class in your centre. While I have improved my job prospects, I need to express my dissatisfaction with the equipment and organization of the course. Firstly, First, during over the course of my practise, many tools and materials were missing and the rest were was severely damaged. This represented a huge life hazard. (??) I myself was badly injured and I expect to be fully compensated for my inability to work over the course of the next two months. The centre has was not been properly cleaned and basic hygienic cryterias (??) were not fulfilled. I also had the chance to experience the canteen and was furthermore displeased. I was not presented the choice of food the meal, since the kitchen prepares only one menu item type of meal each day. The same as the centre the organization was not efficient enough. (??) I found myself practising the sections of the course which I knew very well in advance and rushing through the parts in which I was newly introduced to and needed further exercise to master them. Overall I would propose that you invest more in to allow more spending on the equipment and to expand your canteen menu. It would be vital to set up a survey where each customer could rate the problematicity (??) and the difficulty of the main training sections and then to adjust the time accordingly to the opinions expressed.

(You need a better conclusion. I assume this was a sports facility where you could improve your performance as a team player, and qualify for a national team.)

actually it wasn't. The task was just that I have been on a training course from job and I was asked to write a letter of complains and suggestions. It was specifically stated that I should be complaining about organization of the course the centre itself. But nevertheless thank you for your time.

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Are you going to show us how you structured this into paragraphs?

Clive

And if I could ask one more question, have I used appropriate language and vocabulary ?

Ye sorry I messed it up. I thought that the letter isn't supposed to be structured when I lastly saw example text. I searched for the example text and it turned out to be a movie review. Next time I will surely structure it.

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