Hello everyone,

I am from Hong Kong and I have finished writing a letter of motivation for a master degree overseas. My written English is quite poor so I am afraid that there are many grammatical mistakes. Moreover, I worry whether my contents are strong enough to have the attention of the university. Would you kindly help me to have a look?[Maybe this letter is very strong in Hong Kong style]

Best regard,

Tommy

Dear sir/madam,

My name is ---, aged -- , from . I am writing this letter to apply for the Master’s Programme in Systems, Control and Mechatronics at --University . I am a final year undergraduate at the ----, majoring in Electrical Engineering.



In my university studies, I learnt the basic knowledge in Electrical technology with fundamental technical engineering skills, for example computer programming, electric power theory, systems and control theory, building services and basic electronics. At the end of my second year, I found my interests in Systems and Control Engineering but it must be associated with Electrical, Electronics or Mechanical technology in order to become more practical. Knowing that Mechatronics consists of both of them, I believe this Master’s programme suits me the most even though Mechatronics is quite new for me. I will finish my bachelor study by June and I am now working on my final year individual project titled “Developing a humanoid robot”, to develop a robot that can simulate human facial expressions by the use of sharp memory alloy. The knowledge gained in this project is helpful for me to take this Master’s programme.

In the last summer holiday, I worked at the -- in as a lecturer trainee for two months, which carried out duties on teaching basic calculus and an innovation oriented student project. I participated in several industrial visits with local students. I had the opportunities to know more about manufacturing process. It was also found that Engineering is still playing an important role in the society. The society is changing rapidly. In the past, Electrical Engineering graduates had a wide range of career opportunities but now it becomes very competitive. On the one hand, I need to compete with local fresh graduates and experienced degree holders. On the other hand, many graduates studying overseas would choose to return to . Although I am deciding to work overseas, my knowledge is not enough. It is necessary for me to pursue further education before entering the working society.

is not only famous of its technology in Science, but also the education system. In , most Master’s programmes are called taught postgraduate programmes which are not research-oriented. I am eager to study in a new environment and take some research liked courses. At --University, I can have the chance to take both taught and research-oriented courses, which are relevant to the labor market. I believe that --University can provide me a world class programme with a quite environment to learn. Moreover, since international students are all welcome, I can learn and study as a group with students from all over the world, to enhance my international understanding and communication skills. In , spoken Swedish is rather important for a foreigner to get adapted to local culture. My aunt lives in --- which not far away from campus so I can live with her family and learn Swedish and local culture from her. I want to have the opportunity to work at international Swedish enterprises or take a PhD programme in .

Chinese always say that “Learning is like sailing against water current. We cannot move forward without putting effort”. As a graduate or being a postgraduate, self-motivation is important and I should place more expectations on myself rather than on others.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to your positive response. It would be a valuable opportunity to study at --University.

Yours faithfully,

----
Anybody help? please.....
I don't know if you still need help with motivation letter considering the date that it was posted. I might not reply quickly if you still need assistance because am busy with other things. Let me know anyway.