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I am practising writing a motivation letter so I hope that you can help me check it and give me your feedback that is really useful for me to improve my English skills. Thank you for your help.


Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Hung, and I am writing to express my interest in the A at B University.

I graduated from Ngo Quyen High School in 2005 and Hanoi Architectural University in 2010 and I have been working as an architect. But for me, knowledge is never enough. Therefore, I developed a keen interest in the chance to broaden my horizons by studying abroad over my working period and I found this very intriguing and exciting. Furthermore, I would love to challenge myself in a new field that is more challenging and, of course, more interesting. Recently, I am pursuing to apply for a Bachelor's degree in International Economics at B University in American, and I believe that there is no better place to continue my educational path than in American. I consider it a vibrant experience to gain more knowledge and also get the opportunity to meet students from all over the world, learn about their culture and values. Sadly, my current English proficiency is not enough to meet one of the requirements of the University.

However, it has come to my knowledge that there is a course that could help me pursue my goals, which is the Pathway Semester English that B University is offering would be a perfect fit for me. In fact, studying the Pathway programme plays an important role that brings me a step closer to my goal of becoming a well-rounded person in the future because it helps me improve my English skills not only to meet University’s needs but also a great way for me to be able to communicate with people around while studying abroad. Furthermore, I believe that I am a very diligent and highly motivated student. Therefore, if I am given a chance, I would do my best to complete the course with flying colors to accomplish my goal as I am confident that I am capable of meeting and even exceeding your expectations.

Thank you so much for your consideration and I look forward to your approval.

Yours sincerely,

ABC

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Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Hung, and (They know who you are. The cover letter is part of a package of materials such as the application form and your school transcripts. The motivation letter is your opportunity to express information that is not in the other information.) I am writing to express my interest in the A at B University. (In what field of study? a Masters, PhD or postdoc?)

I graduated from Ngo Quyen High School in 2005 and Hanoi Architectural University in 2010 and since then, I have been working as an architect. But for me, knowledge is never enough. Therefore, I developed a keen interest in the chance to broaden my horizons by studying abroad over my working period and I found this very intriguing and exciting. (Have you already studied in another country?) Furthermore, I would love to challenge myself in a new field that is more challenging (Why? More challenging than Architecture? That is one of the most challenging of disciplines.) and, of course, more interesting. Recently, I am pursuing to apply (That does not make sense. You are either applying for entrance to a university or pursuing a degree there.) for a Bachelor's degree in International Economics at B University in American, (That does not make sense.) and I believe that there is no better place to continue my educational path than in American. (American is a person or an adjective.) I consider it a vibrant experience to gain more knowledge and also get the opportunity to meet students from all over the world, learn about their culture and values. (Every candidate will have this idea. .) Sadly, my current English proficiency is not enough to meet one of the requirements of the University.


However, it has come to my knowledge (wrong word) that there is a course that could help me pursue my goals, (You have never mention your goals - study abroad is not an end goal.) which is the Pathway Semester English that B University is offering would be a perfect fit for me. In fact, studying the Pathway programme plays an important role that brings me a step closer to my goal of becoming a well-rounded person (??? What is a well-rounded person? Why is that a goal of yours?) in the future because it helps me improve my English skills not only to meet University’s the university entrance requirements needs but also a great way for me to be able to communicate with people around while studying abroad. Furthermore, I believe that I am a very diligent and highly motivated student. (Every applicant's motivation letter will state this. How can you prove it? Where is the evidence?) Therefore, if I am given a chance, I would do my best to complete the course with flying colors to accomplish my goal as I am confident that I am capable of meeting and even exceeding your expectations.

Thank you so much for your consideration and I look forward to your approval.

Yours sincerely,

Hung


Your letter is not good.

It will not stand out from any of the other applicants. Every one will have more or less the same arguments - I want to study abroad. I want to expand my horizons. I want to meet people from other cultures. I want to challenge myself, etc. etc. etc. These arguments are mundane and pedestrian. These applicants write things that are completely self-centered, and after a reading hundreds of such letters, the selection committee members will just skim this one and put it in the reject bin.

You did not give any compelling reasons why they should select you over all the other candidates. You did not give anything about your current job, what motivates you, and what your career goals are. You did not say why you are abandoning a very interesting and tough field, Architecture, for Economics. What has motivated this decision? Why don't you want to get a higher degree in your current field? You need to give proof and evidence for your claims - the stronger the better.

I am pretty confident that if you send this letter, you will get a form letter response saying "Thank you for your interest in University ABC. Take English classes in your own country and study very hard so you can meet our English language requirements. Then we will consider your qualifications for entry into the program."

Note: the "pathway" types of programs are extremely competitive.

Comments  
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

AlpheccaStars, your feedback was really helpful as it helped me realize issues in my letter, and I wrote it again. Hopefully, you can check it and help me correct it if you find any mistake because this letter is really important to me. (I need it very urgently)

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Dear sir/madam,

I am writing to express my interest in the Pathway Semester English at ABC University.

I graduated from Ngo Quyen High School in 2005 and Hanoi Architectural University in 2010 and since then, I have been working as an architect. But for me, knowledge is never enough because living in today's fast-changing world, it would be difficult to get success if you didn't have a deep and diverse understanding. Moreover, I would love to challenge myself in new fields to discover and put my other hidden abilities into practice. It seems that there will probably be a lot of challenges, but in fact, it also opens up exciting vistas for me and gives me new experiences in life.

Those thoughts made me develop a keen interest in studying abroad and in fact, I am currently looking forward to the opportunity to study at ABC University in Sweden with a major in International Economics. There are two major reasons behind why I wish to pursue this program there. First and foremost, apart from my existing career as an architect, my ambition is to establish and develop my own multinational company in a stable and sustainable way. To do this, it seems that I have no alternative but to improve my knowledge of economic management, especially at the international level. Another reason is that Sweden has always been considered one of the best education systems in the world and therefore, it is definitely a great place for me to further my educational path. Last but not least, the knowledge that I can accumulate in the process of studying from the advanced Swedish education will bring a lot of benefits to me in the long run so that I could come back to my country and contribute to the development of the country. Sadly, my current English proficiency is not enough to meet the requirements of the University.

However, after doing some research I realized that there is a course that could help me pursue my goals, which is the Pathway Semester English that ABC University is offering would be a perfect fit for me. In fact, studying the Pathway program plays an important role that brings me not only to meet the university entrance requirements but also a step closer to my ambition. In addition, I see myself as a very diligent and highly motivated student. Thus, if I am given a chance, I would do my best to complete the course with flying colors to accomplish my goal as I am confident that I am capable of meeting and even exceeding your expectations.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your approval.

It's still not appealing enough.

designer nguyenit would be difficult to get success if you didn't have a deep and diverse understanding.

Vague. It is a statement that is generally true. We call this a truism. It applies to everyone, everywhere and anytime. It dos not distinguish you from everyone else.

designer nguyenmy other hidden abilities into practice.

If you do not know what these are, it is not very intriguing.

designer nguyenit also opens up exciting vistas for me and gives me new experiences in life.

It does for all the other applicants, too.

designer nguyen my ambition is to establish and develop my own multinational company in a stable and sustainable way.

Do you have an existing local business to build upon? Do you have capital or funding for starting this business?

What are you going to sell or produce? If you cannot be specific, it is not impressive at all.

designer nguyen to improve my knowledge of economic management, especially at the international level.

International Economics is not the field to study if you want to manage your own business, a Masters in Business Administration is far more applicable.

designer nguyenat I could come back to my country and contribute to the development of the country.

Exactly what areas do you want to develop? Do you have a specific need or requirement in mind? Do you have a project plan?

Do you have any voluntary experiences that prove that you understand where your country can improve and the most viable approach?

Do you have other people who will work with you on this project?

designer nguyen In fact, studying the Pathway program plays an important role that brings me not only to meet the university entrance requirements but also a step closer to my ambition.

What is preventing you from studying in your own country (even an on-line English class) to be able to pass the English proficiency requirements? What have you done so far to improve yourself?

https://www.coursera.org/browse/language-learning/learning-english


You need to be much more specific an clear in what your future goals are.

The motivation letters that stand out are full of very specific ideas of the goal, and the practical steps to achieve that goal.

For the purpose of highlighting my ideas in my motivation letter. I rewrote it again. However, in this letter, I have decided to continue with my architecture career at another University. It is quite long so thanks for your patience.


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my particular interest in the Pre-Master’s course in Architecture at ABC University

I graduated from Hanoi Architectural University in 2003 and since then, I have been working as an architect. But for me, knowledge is never enough because it seems to be very difficult to get success without a deep and diverse understanding in the fast-changing world today.

As you know, architecture is a very interesting and diverse field. It not only benefits the aesthetic value of the building but also needs to meet all functions well for the users. With my existing experience and knowledge, I am confident in my ability in creativity and aesthetic appeal in terms of design. But what I am lacking and weak is in-depth knowledge to optimize natural energy and then incorporate renewable energy technologies, leading to creating sustainability and stability for the building and also save increasingly scarce and expensive energy sources.

Based on the reasons that I mentioned above made me develop a keen interest in studying abroad. To be more specific, I am currently looking forward to the opportunity to study a master’s course at ABC University in Sweden with a major in architecture. There are major two main reasons why I wish to pursue this program at ABC. First, Sweden has been acquiring a worldwide reputation for its effective energy utilization in order to optimize building efficiency and then incorporate renewable energy technologies, leading to the creation of zero-energy buildings. Last but not least, the Swedish education system has always been considered as one of the best education systems in the world, and ABC University has been ranked the best university in Sweden in the last version of the QS World University Rankings. Therefore, it is definitely a great place for me to further my educational path.

Sadly, my current English proficiency is not enough to meet the admission requirements of the University.

However, after doing some research, I realized that there is a course that could help me pursue my desire, which is the Pre-Master’s course that ONCAMPUS is offering would be a perfect fit for me. It plays an important role that brings me not only to meet the university entrance requirements but also helps me quickly integrate with the new study environment. Thus, if I am given a chance to study at this university, I will have a clear view regarding the areas of architecture in which I have my utmost interest and expertise. Then, I will be able to either go for the Ph.D. program to become a professor at a university in the future or use the knowledge that I am studied at ABC University to create zero-energy buildings and make a little contribution to solving environmental problems that are posing serious threats to today’s world.

Thank you for your patience and consideration. I look forward to your approval.

Yours sincerely,

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