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Could you please overlook my modest trial of writing a letter of motivation? If you want i can also post my german trial! Unfortunately i am not a native speaker... Please help me its quite urgent! Thanks a lot!

Letter of Motivation



Dear Sir or Madam



My name is X.X. At the moment I’m going to the 12th grade of a private school in M..

My principal courses are geography and german. I was born on the 12th may 1988.

I would like to participate in a eight monthly practical course in Kathmandu.

Especially I am interested in the field of social work, because I take pleasure in being occupied with children, preferred in he age of 3 to 10 years and I want to live my creative part while innovating the games, constructing and painting.

The field of social work has woken up my interest, because I could imagine to be in the employ of this field and for example to be engaged for a world relief organization.

Due to the fact that I am very flexible I would also be ready to take car of small teaching works in the fields of English, german or Spanish.

Furthermore I am very interested in the culture and religion of Nepal.

It would be great if some children of my age would be member of my host family.

Desirable would a host family, living in the near of my practical course place.

I believe the communication with other people is not very difficult for me ,because I am very open, urging for knowledge and sociable.

I don’t have any problems with other customs or way of lives, for I am very adaptable.

For my stay I am hoping a expansion of my horizon and to give rise to something positive.

Of course I would not only learn something by other people, but also get to know more about myself.

I dispose of linguistic knowledge in Englisch, French, as well as basic knowledge in Spanish.

In my opinion I am a very tolerant human, who stands up for people in the need and at any time ready to help.

I think I am good for a foreign work.

If I have awoken your interest,please don’t hesitate to contact me

Kindest Regards,

X.x



I
Comments  
1) My name is X.X. This is a very unusual opening line and not even necessary one. Your name is known from the CV as well as the from the address. There is no need to introduce itself in a formal letter. My name is .. is for writing to potential friends, strongly informal. I would suggest to take it back, it could lead to a tradegy:_)

2) At the moment I'm going... The tense is not correct because the action started in the past and is still going. At the moment you are sitting in front of your computer:-)

Proposal: Recently I have been attending a private school in M., in the ... grade.

3) My principal courses are geography and german, My major subjects are geography and German (German with a capital letter)

4) I was born. See 1). The letter should provide your motivation. I doubt if your birthday is connected to your motivation. If so explain why:-) Cut the whole sentense.

OK, there is no point to go on. This isn't a motivation letter, more a mix between CV and cover letter. If possible, please forget it and write it complettely new after research about the structure of a formal cover letter. I would try to correct the obvious mistake as far as I can. It would be better:-)
I am a Nepali boy born in 29th June 1988. It was really interesting to read this letter of motivation. I was happy to know that the writer is interested in Kathmandu, Nepal, thats where my hometown is. I would be really happy if I could meet the writer and talk to him. I would certainly be happy to help him letting him know about the culture of Nepal. But I am really desperate that I could I get in touch with the writer of this motivation letter. If it could happen, please do contact me freely at Email Removed .

I hope that the writer will be sooner in contact with me. Thanking you!!
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
well your motivation letter is good just arrange it in paragraphs.well...what u are coming to kathmandu...o r in kathmandu at this date I think...well i wrote in because I belong to kathmandu.so good luck with your social works here in kathmandu and hopefull you will like our place.

regards