+0

Now, one of the top causes of society in Viet Nam is going up crime rate. Especially, youth crime who are at the age of 14 to 18. It is alarm situation in big cities such as Ha Noi, Ho Chi Minh city.
Why do youth crime increase in major cities? At present, young people live in a 21st century. A century is developing about technology and human beings have a quite full life. Therefore, what increases the crime rate? Due to situations, education, family, society or themselves. Some children have very difficult situations. They are so poor that they have to drop out school. Their parents compel to do heavy labour. They join in labour very early to begin about around 7 years old. Consequence is they can become robbers and enter criminal gang when they are too young. Besides, some children have better condition but educational environment is not good. Some schools lack learning equipment. Especially is school in mountainous regions. Education doesn't really connect teaching with caring about student spirit. The students lack a lot of knowledge about life. Consequently, they are cheated easily. Finally, the major cause is themselves. They have wrong awareness about information through watching these toxic videos on the internet which affect strongly on their thought and behaviour. Therefore, society should care about mental life of children. Government and families encourage children in going to school. Furthermore, we should help children to find a good job. Every person in family needs to teach for children to use useful Internet.
In conclusion, in order to prevent the crime we need join hands of whole communities. Each person needs to have right awareness about behaviour of self.

+0

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in major cities in Viet Nam. What are the reasons for this? Suggest some solutions.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
---------------------

Place a blank line between each paragraph.

The examiner needs to see your essay divided clearly into paragraphs.

+0

What band score is your goal?

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Comments  
Well, I want to get about 6 to 7 scores
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Well, I want to get about 6 to 7 scores

Right now, I estimate that your essay might get around band 5.

There are many mistakes with grammar and sentence structure. (grammatical range and accuracy - this measure will get the lowest score.).

Vocabulary is very basic for the task, but there are many problems in correct word usage. (Lexical resource)

Ideas are present, but not very well developed. (Task Response)

There are attempts at transitions, but most of them are faulty. Paragraphs are unclear. (Coherence and cohesion will also get a low score.)