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Well Yasmin, you probably have a good heart so you can find someone who will appreciate it and make a family with you. That is the best family if you don't already have one built in. Good luck to you. I too am without family. It is a painful thing. I am thirty five with no children. My father, who was the only one who raised me died of lung cancer almost eight years ago. My life is empty. I play the lottery a lot because I think if I could provide a good life for children I would find someone to impregnate me and I could start my own family. That is almost certainly not going to happen. I wish I could just be little again and that way I would have a choice about what was going to happen to me in the long run. But I am not little and all alone in the world by myself. I guess some people have to bear the burden. But you are probably attractive and can find someone. Great luck with this. Misery should not be spread.
Life is hard without family. I grew up in care & found myself turfed out, living alone with no support at age 15. Now aged 34, nothing has really changed. The only thing I want out of life at this point is to own my own home & I am starting to think that even that is just not possible without support of family & friends. I have no family members & feel I have been alone since day 1. I often wonder why I'm here. People scream & shout about family & friends being the reason to live for & the reason to keep fighting for. What if they're non existent? How do you work around that? I have a job which keeps me going, keeps me sane, but it doesn't fill the huge void that still exists. I guess you learn to live with it. I can only conclude that my actions in this life & the way I deal with all that's thrown at me will will determine my happiness in the next. That really is the best I can hope for.
S
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S can I ask where you're from??
I am interested in Bach's illusions book and will look it up. Yes, there is no point in wallowing in self pity, but the older I get the more I miss not having a family. After my parents died this all really hit home. I have two brothers who abandoned their parents (and thus they abandoned me) and with whom I do not have any contact with as they are unkind people and perhaps sociopaths. I am divorced and have no children.

I am pretty good about developing new friendships and holding onto my old ones. However all my friends have families and their priorities are with their families. No matter how nice these friends are, they do not understand what it is like and do not reach out to me during the worst times which are holidays, birthdays etc. Yes, a close friendship is very valuable, but unfortunately these friendships are fragile. My best friend got married and he is not really supposed to see me anymore. He had no family and finally married so he could be a part of another family. This has worked for him but alas, I lost my closest friend who I considered a "brother." But he was not a biological brother and this fact takes priority.

People always say to me "your friends are your family." I truly wish this could be true, but so far, I have found this not to be the case. It is also an easy thing for them to say to excuse the severity of my situation. People with families also have their own problems so they just say this platitude and move on with their thoughts. The situation of being without family is something that nobody can know unless they experience it.

So one must just accept it and try to make the best of it.

The only way I survive is through my work (I am an artist) and keeping busy. You must have faith and trust that you can survive and flourish.

Some things that help are: exercise, a passionate hobby, having friends in similar situations who will perhaps be somewhat sympathetic (do not whine about it all the time, but explain to them thoughtfully how difficult it is and do not expect them to save you = this will put pressure on them and they will run from it), meditation, book groups, therapy to develop self esteem.

good luck to you all.

HDT
AnonymousI don't think there is any point in wallowing in our own self pity......it is a sad situation but there are others who are far worse off. I said in a previous post that I get email alerts when anyone posts on this thread but I am looking for people who want to help themselves.....if so, please message me.....The best to all of you.....K
Hi, today is August 22nd, 2012. I just googled the search words "living without family" and came upon this thread. I'm not sure how old it is or if anyone who posted here was able to get the support they were looking for. I like your anonymous quote as I am just another anonymous person. I have also felt all of the same horrible feelings others have described here.
I will certainly reply back if I here from anyone. I agree with your point regarding wallowing in self pity. You are correct...it is pointless, which is why I have just begun to take a proactive approach in trying to change the situation. Thanks, Rich
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Living without family is the most horrible existence there is, especially when your health is not good.

If ''there is" was deleted, I believe it would change both tone and meaning. "There is" strongly conveys that there can be nothing in this world more horrible than living without family. This statement posted by exodejavu, to me, suggests a person who is quite sad, feeling lonely and alone, at a time when she very much needs a family member.

I am new to these posts, and so do not want to offer too much in the way of my opinion....but I will state something based on my own life - "Living without family until the age of 41, when I had my only child, has been the most horrible existence for me. Living without love, peace, support, protection and guidance has affected me then, as it still does in my vast insecurities at age 56. One person's view of a terrible life existence is not something that can be compared in any way to another. Each individual attaches certain levels of emotions to their life experiences, with so many factors and variables influencing how it felt then...and how it feels now."
This thread has been going on a couple of years it looks like. I Googled "good life, no relatives" as I have wallowed in self pity that I am 45, and long story shot, will not be having a family of my own. I am married but am mostly afraid of when my aging parents and chronically ill no kids brother pass. Parents are both only children. I was traumatized five years ago and cut off my friendships. Now I am scrambling to make some friends and not to fear the future. Taking a mindfulness class to help me learn to stay in the present, bc the past and future are frightening. The former bc of the trauma, the future bc of anticipation of being more alone than I am now. Trying to make friends is difficult but all I can do is pray and do what I can to hopefully wind up with some sense of community. I am SO jealous of people with families--kids, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, grandkids...But it is probably the case that while they don't have my predicament, they have other ones. They just may have more of a support system. Good forum. Thanks. Ginny
Hello, I' am going to post here ...just to let you know you are not alone. Everyone watches the Dr. Phil show right? There is barely a day goes by that he will say. "Well,no matter how tough life gets or how many problems you have,you always have your family to comfort or back you up!" I chuckle whenever he says this and think to myself"But what about those of us whom have no family???" As the sweet lady said .There really isn't anything much worse. Ones "family" is ones tribe. It's their group. Their bloodline. It's where we all come from. I grew up worshipping my family. They were the base of my identity. I litterally thought and believed that I had the best family in America. I am the oldest and only son in my family with four younger sisters. To make my story short,as I could easily make it a novel, I will jump right to the point. My mother,by the time she birthedfour of us ...hated and consequently divorced my father ,then remarried and moved us all the way across the country. Thru my entire childhood ,I was always put in remote parts of the homes we lived in and all the girls were close to the master bedroom. My crime was that I reminded my mother of the my father she so passionately hated. Merely because I looked like him. I was a sweet passive loving child ,always trying to please teh "Queen" as I have come to refer to my mother as. She married for the second time a tall stapping great fellow from Georgia,who became my stepdad. He was more like a big brother to me and I ended up Idolizing him. His only downside was that his mother was a "Matriarch", and therefore he married one....my mother the queen. Four foot ten inch queen by the way!! Yes! Women can have Napolean complexes as well as men! I worshipped my mother the first forty years of my life ,and was her "confidant" along with the oldest daughter who is three years younger then me. I became a carpenter by trade and built the beautiful "California Contemporary" home my parents live in today. My mother ,because of her insecurities and because my first dad did it too her, had occasional "affairs" behind the back of my stepdad,even with one of his closest associates at work. The eldest daughter and myself were aware and even witnessed this affair but we were taught as children that this was OK as long as it made the participants happy. Well......this was all well and good until my mother turned sixty,was done playing around,but then became afraid that I would "spill the beans" so to speak. I never would have in a million years, as I wouldn't hurt my stepdad like that. In her sick mind tho,it was different so it was then.....around fifteen years ago she,in writing,kicked me out of the family. All of my sisters followed her lead and even my stepdad!! It blew my mind ,needless to say and more then that,it broke my heart. I woke up every day for the first ten years ....grieving with pain. I tried deperately to get any one of my sisters to help me or take my side....but there was no way, then of course,because of my pain, I said a couple of things I shouldn't have and it merely compounded and cemented the deal. I no longer was part of my family. As an artist and a musician the pain was unbearable at times. I merely bring this up to say that I'm overly sensitive for a male. I do have a wonderful son, and we are close but this situation has affected him as well. I am a loving ,healthy, basically strong sixty-one year old today,but I still grieve dailly over the loss of my family. "They are all nuts" my friends say"just move on,you're better off without them". I try daily I get down on my knees and pray to God for the pain to go away....not to mention the anger! I had to turn the anger into forgiveness, or it would have killed me by now! So! Thats an extremely brief version of my story to possibly help anyone out there whom is alone without their tribe/family know that I sympathise and empathise for you! Hope fully more with similar stories will come foward and lets have a support group of understanding folks! We can form our own web family from our similar situations. My main message is to Forgive those whom have caused you your isolation...for your own health and well being. PEACE
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Im still here listening. Id like to hook up with other people from the UK. If so, either message me or reply to this thread as I am subscribed to it...
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