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This is for my English GCSE coursework, it's basically what happens after the end of Lord of the flies. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Sorry it's a bit long.
Ralph was standing on the deck of the ship as it moved further and further away from the island, watching the sinister silhouette of the island disappear into the thin line that was the horizon. It was now nearly twilight; the sky tinged with purple, the clouds speckled with pink. The setting sun set the sky ablaze with fiery reds and orange, a stark contrast to the quiet, unassuming navy of the still ocean.
It held a promise of better things to come.
Ralph looked at the still-smoking island, barely able to suppress the shiver making its way down his spine. It was not because of the cold. He pulled the blanket that he had been given more tightly around his shoulders
It seemed so foreign now. It was no longer the beautiful place that the group had considered a good island upon their arrival. The island that had comprised of fruit and greenery was now scorched earth, like a war zone. It was sad, in a way, Ralph thought. So much time, so much hardship, and there is no proof of their legacy. No one will ever know their story, for all that was left was a scorched wasteland.
Ralph didn’t want to go downstairs to the room that the captain had assigned them. He didn’t want to hear the others’ false words of sympathy when he knew full well that they had killed the two boys. Instead, he found a quiet spot behind a stack of barrels where he was sure no one would find him and sat on the rough wood floor, leaning against the rail, and tilted his head to the sky, watching the dark clouds scudding across a gloomy nondescript black. There were no stars. The memory of the death of the two boys dragged at his conscience, like shackles.
The next morning all the boys were sitting in the dining room, with new clothes and haircuts. Now the paint had been washed away; the mud and grime of the previous weeks had been cleaned, they looked almost normal. Ralph however, had remained in his dirty clothes and had not taken a shower. He needed to remember, to reflect. He had refused to wash despite that was all he had wanted to do only a few days before. Now, he felt as though it was a part of him, and he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t let it go. He would not let go of his memories like the others had, it was a dishonour to the memories of Piggy and Simon. Neither could he shake off the pangs of guilt that still haunted him – why had he not been nicer to Piggy? Why had he not listened to him?
Someone was talking in the distance. Ralph awoke out of his reverie.
‘ – current situation, we must try to make the facts straight. Does anyone remember how long you stayed on the island?’
No one answered.
‘What happened on the island?’
There were a few murmurs, then Jack stood up.
‘We landed on it a few weeks ago. On the island, we picked fruit, and we swam, and built houses. We played games, and hunted pigs. We had lots of fun.’ The lie hit Ralph like a fist. He clenched his hand so hard that is knuckles turned white and his fingernails dug into his hand.
The Roger said: ‘Sir, where are we going? Only you never told us, and none of the other sailors did either.’ This lead to a barrage of questions, mostly from the littluns.
‘What day is it?’
‘Is the war still on?’
‘How long is it until we get there?’ The officer held up his hand. Slowly they fell quiet.’
‘Today is Saturday. We are going to a naval base in . Unfortunately, the journey’s going to be quite long, as we’ll need to make a few stops to take on supplies. But it should only take four weeks at most.’
Samneric raised their hands simultaneously.
‘Is there still a war?’
‘I’m sorry, but yes. The war is definitely going on. Also, it shows no signs of ending soon. I’m afraid you will all have to wait a bit longer.’
‘Why’re we going to ? How we going to get home to ?’
The officer took off his hat. ‘Are you all from ?’ There was a ripple of assent.
‘Well…I don’t know how to put this, but… has…gone. I’m very sorry.’
There was a silence. A few of the littluns gasped and covered their eyes. The older ones looked at him with disbelief, wordlessly commanding him to carry on.
Ralph plucked up the courage to ask ‘What do you mean…gone?’
‘The Enemy.’ He replied. ‘They bombed
It was at that moment something broke in the boys. What they had been waiting or all the time on the island was no longer there – it had been a false hope. To go back home, to live a normal life again, with their parents, with their friends. Everyone they knew, everyone that they had cared for, was dead. Truly, truly dead. They were all alone.
The officer stood and mumbled something about checking the rudder, but no one heard him. They were too wrapped up in their own individual misery; they would never again see their schoolmates, or their mother, or their father. But most of all they all felt guilt. Guilty for lying, for covering up the truth. Guilty for killing the little creatures on the beach, the pigs, the boar, Simon, Piggy. In a way, they were no different from The Enemy. Just as The Enemy had killed their parents, their friends, their families, they had been killing too. They had thought that they were different, that they were better. Now they realized that they were exactly the same. They were sorry, they regretted it, they wished they could take it back. But they couldn’t. They couldn’t redo what was already done, and they couldn’t bring back the dead. They would have to live with it, even if it meant living alone.
I'm thinking the ending in't as good as it could be...[:^)] If anyone can suggest an alternate ending for it that would be amazing.
Thanks for reading
Anonymous:OMG are kidding me???? this ending is way better than the original one.. i really liked it... bt it would be better if yu make a continuation or somethin.. yur really good
Anonymous:Not a huge fan, I feel Ralph would be more assertive at this point. He would be shouting and thrashing not quiet and reserved. Although good choice having him not want to be with the other boys thats true. Also I think that you need to realize its quicker and easier to became savage and harder to become more refined and civilized. The boys wouldn't be polite but crude. However good for you for putting this online that takes courage. Keep writing thats how you get better. And please do not get offended by anything I said it does not matter what i think...
People are waiting to help.
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