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Hi,

I'm not satisfied with the underlined expressions:

In terms of revenue, drops on match days depend on the type of store and on the period of the year, amounting up to fifty percent of the average revenue in a Saturday or Sunday without match. Of particular concern are events performed during those periods of the year associated with purchase of presents. For instance, the sales manager of a store specialised in YYY reported that on Mother’s day revenues were lower than the previous week (while they were expecting an increase in sale) because of the ZZZ match occurring the previous day.

Are they innatural? Is there a better way to express these ideas? If you find any other mistakes, please let me know!

Thanks in advance!
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TanitHi,

I'm not satisfied with the underlined expressions:

In terms of revenue, drops on match days depend on the type of store and [on the] time of the year, amounting to as much as fifty percent of the average revenue for a Saturday or Sunday without match. Of particular concern are events performed during those times of year associated with gift-giving. For instance, the sales manager of a store specialised in YYY reported that on Mother’s day revenues were lower than the previous week (they had been expecting an increase in sales) because of the ZZZ match occurring [which had taken place] the previous day.

Are they innatural? Is there a better way to express these ideas? If you find any other mistakes, please let me know!

Thanks in advance!
Hi Tanit

My suggestions are in the quote. Anything in brackets is optional.
Comments  
Hi, Yankee,

You've been really helpful, thanks! Emotion: smile