Is love for your spouse unique? Or do u think u can have that kind of love for others too as we have sisterly love and fatherly love and such...? Do u think after marriage u should give more importance to spouse or to the parents? Should love for your parents be always more than for your spouse? Why? why not?
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I think each relationship, each love, is unique. I have five children and love them all, there is not one I love any more than the others, but I love them all differently. Love is about relationship and every relationship is different.
I personally believe that if a marriage is to work than it should be the most important relationship in your life. Your loyalty and dedication should first be to your spouse. Other relationships can not be allowed to take priority over your marriage or your marriage cannot be healthy to be a strong basis for the next generation of family.
I'm in Australia, perhaps this attitude is a cultural thing, is it different in other cultures ?
Yes, I'd agree with you. If you want it to be strong.
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Me too. The spouse comes first. I hope that men think the same as we do!
I will voice a different view. It's probably not a matter of love and loyalty but of trust. My parents are the only people I trust unreservedly. They have never miseld me and have always been there for me. I love my boyfriend (he's almost a spouse as we've been living together for quite a long time), I'm loyal to him and I can say I trust him but I am prepared for any kind of unpleasant surprises - surprises I can never expect from my parents.
You're right Miche. Generally speaking, your comment is true. However, when you've grown up not in normal or healthy environment (I mean in a broken home, to alchoholic parents,...) the trust that you have on your parents may differ from the level that you have to have. Your love doen't change, you still love them no matter how mad you are at them. Though the love for your spouse can be even turn to a hatred. We've born to our parents, but your choosing of the spouse is an arbitrary thing. That's the difference.
I only meant that your priorities change when you have a family of your own. And sometimes it's because of you want to have your own freedom and decisions,... and not of your parents. So, I think in exchange for that you have to sacrifice a little bit from your relations with your parents,... I mean that for example, just you see them less often, nevertheles, you love them as much as before!
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Oh, yes, you are absolutely right, LanguageLover! I can't stand people who are 30 years old and more and keep visiting their parents on a daily basis, neglecting their own wives/husbands and children. The family you choose to form is a commitment; you must give it time and attention and love. That's the way to show your children that they can trust you. And then we get to my idea - about the trust between parents and children. Emotion: smile
I have a friend whose father is an alcoholic, I think I know what you mean... She's a lovely girl and she has told me she feels "noble envy" about my parents. They love her a lot.
Yes Miche, that was exactly my point. We came to an agreement!Emotion: wink
One Point here has been missed in the thread. I was also mentioning about 'Spousal Love' or love for your spouse. Do u think that u can have this kind of love, (not this kind of relationship) for another person and still say that u love your spouse? Would that be two-timing? Or do u think that without marrying that person and not leaving your spouse either, u can have that kind of spousal love for another person? Or would that just be Lover's love?
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