Hello All,

Below is the mail which i would like to send to my prpspect. kindly correct me if there is any mistake?

Please suggest me the good effective mail with more professional words.

I hope you are doing well. We know that your payroll is outsourced to the third party. In your company the payroll is handled by the Team. We have clients where we have replaced the outsourcing model by our payroll software.We would like to discuss about the cost benefits with you and your team. We would be glad to share our existing client list where we have helped them to reduce their cost for your reference check.We have bulk full and final feature in our software which you have mentioned me over the phone. Its our dream to work with you on our 100% customer satisfaction product evaluation program.Kindly provide us an opportunity where we could present our complete demo to your entire team. I personally involve my Our Head Marketing for the Demo.

Kamlesh
I hope you are doing well.

We know that your payroll is outsourced to a third party. We think in your company the payroll is handled by a team of people (Please use a word which can best replace people). We have clients who have replaced their outsourcing model with our payroll software.

We would like to discuss the cost benefits with you and your team. We would be glad to share with you the list of our clients who have been very much benefitted by our software and service, for your reference. Bulk full and final feature of our software, which you mentioned on the phone, are available with us.

We are looking forward to working with you on our 100% customer satisfaction product evaluation program.

We would like you to provide us an opportunity to present a complete demonstration of our product. The head of the Marketing team will be present during the demonstration to give you all the information of the product and answer your queries.
How's this? (I'm not sure what "bulk full and final features" are so I left those words as-is.

I hope you are doing well. We know that your payroll is outsourced to the third party. In your company the payroll is handled by the Team. We have clients with whom we have replaced the outsourcing model with our payroll software. We would like to discuss with you and your team the cost benefits.

In addition, we would be glad to share with you our existing client list. We have helped these clients to significantly reduce their cost of business. As you have inquired during our phone conversation, we do have bulk full and final features. It is our goal to work with you to attain 100% customer satisfaction for our product evaluation program.

Kindly provide us with the opportunity to present our complete demo to your entire team. I will personally involve our head of marketing for the demonstration.
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Hi,

Thanks for your suggestion. It helps me to improve my e-mail communication.

Kamlesh
Can you please suggest me the improvement areas and some exercise on that which we will help help me to understand the scenario?
Hi,

Thanks for your reply. i thought the most of the mistakes are related to tense and preposition. can you please suggest me how can i come over this thing?

Kamlesh
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