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It is known that human beings have been dangered on-shore and underwater animals resulting in the deduction of balance in the ecosystem. Some causes in which man is wrecking the environment and suggestions on which the problems can be solved.

Mentioning reasons why wilds on land are on the border of extinction. Firstly, humans overhunt and caused the shortage of a species’ population. For example, due to the economical benefits that ivory brought to us, thousands and thousands of elephants have been slaughtered unreasonably in the past few years. Additionally, animal body parts are sold out to the market for high prices, bringing profits for hunters even when the consequence is overlooked. Another base is that the requirement of massive quantities of energy has led to high usage, meaning more carbon-rich fuels are used. Once the CO2 emission has been overloaded, acid rain and global warming problems will be much worse. While the terrestrial faunas are endangered, sealife is in the same situation. As global warming is overwhelmed, this easily causes the growth of sea level, making certain changes in marine habitats. Furthermore, as rapid industrialization is continuing, oil is needed and there might be an oil exploitation accident, leading to the disappearance of aquatic creatures.

There are some recommendations in order to minimize the effects of human activities on nature. First and foremost, by propagating about the danger of overhunting, everyone will be aware of the extinction of some exotic species. Besides, asking people not to purchase illegal goods related to the wild is a good way to prevent such prohibited actions in the future. Nonetheless, crime issues will be controlled by enhancing inspections around the forests. For example, smugglers can be caught when cutting down trees for woods. Dealing with fumes from plants, scientists must boost the development of technology, such as clarifying smokes before being exhausted. If the defining process is not included, the manager has to pay high fines on the overdosed vapors. Down to the ocean, when we alter the energy source, electricity for instance, into a much more effective one such as hydrogen, climate change may be reduced. In fact, this can do wonders for lives in the sea, since oil is no more needed, the proportion of accidents is less.

To conclude, while there are some drawbacks because of human activities, a lot of resolutions are brought out so as to fix the situations.

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Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion, even though it it way too long. Your arguments do not follow logically. Your vocabulary usage has many issues, as you can see from all the highlighted wrong words.


It is known that human beings (Use "people". We do not use "human beings" in this context.) have been dangered (wrong verb, wrong form) on-shore and underwater animals (wrong expression.) resulting in the deduction (wrong word. A deduction is a conclusion after looking at some facts.) of balance in the ecosystem. Some causes in which man is wrecking the environment (wrong expression.) and suggestions on which the problems can be solved. (That is not a sentence. There is no subject + verb. )

Mentioning (wrong word. ) reasons why wilds (wrong word) on land are on the border (wrong word. ) of extinction. Firstly, First humans (Use "people". We do not use "humans" in this context.) overhunt and caused the shortage (wrong word. ) of a species’ population. For example, due to the economical (wrong word. Something that is economical saves us money. ) economic benefits that ivory brought to us, thousands and thousands of elephants have been slaughtered unreasonably in the past few years. Additionally, animal body parts are sold out (wrong phrase. ) to the market for high prices, bringing profits for hunters even when the consequence is overlooked. Another base (wrong word. ) is that the requirement of massive quantities of energy has led to high usage, (That does not make sense. Does hunting elephants and other animals require lots of energy?) meaning more carbon-rich fuels are used. Once the CO2 emission has been overloaded, (wrong word. ) acid rain and global warming problems will be much worse. While the terrestrial faunas are endangered, sealife is in the same situation. As global warming is overwhelmed, (wrong word. ) this easily causes the growth (wrong word. ) of sea level, making certain changes in marine habitats. Furthermore, as rapid industrialization is continuing, oil is needed and there might be an oil exploitation accident, (unnatural expression. ) leading to the disappearance of aquatic creatures.

There are some recommendations in order to minimize the effects of human activities on nature. First and foremost, by propagating (wrong word. ) about the danger of overhunting, everyone will be aware of the extinction of some exotic species. Besides, asking people not to purchase illegal goods related to the wild is a good way to prevent such prohibited actions in the future. Nonetheless, crime issues will be controlled by enhancing (wrong word. ) inspections around the forests. For example, smugglers can be caught when cutting down trees for woods. (wrong word. ) Dealing with fumes from plants, (Trees?) scientists must boost the development of technology, such as clarifying (wrong word. ) smokes (wrong form. ) before being exhausted. (wrong word. I am exhausted = I am very very tired. ) If the defining process is not included, the manager (What manager are you talking about?) has to pay high fines on the overdosed (Overdose means to take too much of a medicine or drug. People die from overdoses. ) vapors. Down to the ocean, when we alter the energy source, (I do not understand - Do we put electricity in the ocean?) electricity for instance, into a much more effective one such as hydrogen, climate change may be reduced. In fact, this can do wonders for lives in the sea, since oil is no more needed, the proportion of accidents is less.

To conclude, while there are some drawbacks because of human activities, a lot of resolutions are brought out so as to fix the situations.

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It is known that human beings have been dangered on-shore and underwater animals resulting in the deduction of balance in the ecosystem. Some causes in which man is wrecking the environment and suggestions on which the problems can be solved.

Mentioning reasons why wilds on land are on the border of extinction. Firstly, humans overhunt and caused the shortage of a species’ population. For example, due to the economical benefits that ivory brought to us, thousands and thousands of elephants have been slaughtered unreasonably in the past few years. Additionally, animal body parts are sold out to the market for high prices, bringing profits for hunters even when the consequence is overlooked. Another base is that the requirement of massive quantities of energy has led to high usage, meaning more carbon-rich fuels are used. Once the CO2 emission has been overloaded, acid rain and global warming problems will be much worse. While the terrestrial faunas are endangered, sealife is in the same situation. As global warming is overwhelmed, this easily causes the growth of sea level, making certain changes in marine habitats. Furthermore, as rapid industrialization is continuing, oil is needed and there might be an oil exploitation accident, leading to the disappearance of aquatic creatures.

There are some recommendations in order to minimize the effects of human activities on nature. First and foremost, by propagating about the danger of overhunting, everyone will be aware of the extinction of some exotic species. Besides, asking people not to purchase illegal goods related to the wild is a good way to prevent such prohibited actions in the future. Nonetheless, crime issues will be controlled by enhancing inspections around the forests. For example, smugglers can be caught when cutting down trees for woods. Dealing with fumes from plants, scientists must boost the development of technology, such as clarifying smokes before being exhausted. If the defining process is not included, the manager has to pay high fines on the overdosed vapors. Down to the ocean, when we alter the energy source, electricity for instance, into a much more effective one such as hydrogen, climate change may be reduced. In fact, this can do wonders for lives in the sea, since oil is no more needed, the proportion of accidents is less.

To conclude, while there are some drawbacks because of human activities, a lot of resolutions are brought out so as to fix the situations.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

You wrote about 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors. Your vocabulary usage is not very good, so many points will be deducted from your score.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write 270-290 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.
You can use this word counter: https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/

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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.