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When autumn comes,
I'll write my longing for you
on an orange maple leaf
and leave it in the air.
May it float into your dream!


HI,

I wrote the above to practice my English, and I'm not sure if the last line sounds right. If not, how should I correct it? Thanks.

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Angliholicnot sure if the last line sounds right.
It's quite acceptable, but what intrigues me more is the line that precedes it. There are many, many ways you could say that.

... and entrust it to the air

... and dispatch it on a breeze
... and send it on a gentle wind

Perhaps not as poetic as you'd like, but I'd be tempted to say "fallen maple leaf" rather than "orange maple leaf" -- only because I like the sound of "fallen" better I suppose.

CJ
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Thanks, Jim, for the reply and suggestion.

When trees begin to put on red and orange,

I'll paint my longing for you on a maple leaf

and hand it to the air.



May a gentle wind blow it into your dreamland!
You're getting pretty good at this, aren't you? Emotion: smile

CJ
Thanks, Jim.

Roger!
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