Topic: children are now less active in thier free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsary in schools. do you agree or disagree? give reason for your answer and extent your ideals.



There are some people say that children now are more passive than in the past as they have free-time. I totally agree with this viewpoint. In my view, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools.

Childrens sit on the chairs at schools from the morning until the evening to learn several things. Of course, they barely move the body so it will not balance beween mind and body. In addition, if children are unfit at the early age it definitely affect the rest of children’ life. They can become obese or lazy people when they grow up. Physical excercise is the foudation of education, therefore, it should be a main part of cirriculum.

When the child have a healthy body it also strengthen their mind too. the more children use their body the more energy they gain. Hence, exercise definitely help the child during process of learning. Overmore, sports help children learn discipline of the rules and it help them to get a long with their friends. Those benefit of sports will shape the appearance of a child as they become an adult about body and mind aspects.

to sum up, everyone also know the benefits of sports bring for life so we do not need to discuss in depth. I definitely state that children need to use body and play around with their pupils for fully growing and physical exercises subject should be a main part of education.

Thanh MaTopic: children are now less active in thier free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsary in schools. do you agree or disagree? give reason for your answer and extent your ideals.

You did not copy the instructions correctly. You had the same problem in your previous essay.
I do not understand "extent your ideals" - it makes no sense.

If you can't copy text correctly, you will not make progress.

You did not write the minimum number of words. So you will get a lower score.

Also "gramma" and "common word" are incorrect.



There are some people say (ungrammatical. Missing relative pronoun.) that children now are more passive than in the past as they have free-time. (Off topic. They are not lazy because they have free time.) I totally agree with this viewpoint. In my view, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools.

Childrens (wrong form) sit on the chairs at schools from the morning until the evening to learn several things. Of course, they barely move the body so it will not balance (That makes no sense.) beween mind and body. In addition, if children are unfit at an the early age it definitely affect (wrong form) the rest of their children’ life. They can become obese or lazy people when they grow up. Physical excercise is the foudation of education, (Incorrect punctuation. Comma splice error) therefore, it should be a main part of the cirriculum.

When the child have a healthy body it also strengthen (wrong form) their mind too. the more children use their body the more energy they gain. Hence, exercise definitely help the child during the process of learning. Overmore, sports help (wrong form) children learn discipline of the rules and it help them to get a long with their friends. Those benefit (wrong form) of sports will shape the appearance of a child as they become an adult about body and mind aspects. (Incorrect phrase)

to sum up, everyone also know (wrong form) the benefits of (wrong word) sports bring for life so we do not need to discuss it in depth. I definitely state that children need to use body and play around with their pupils (wrong word) for fully growing (wrong phrase) and physical exercises subject should be a main part of education.

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thank you for taking your time teacher. i will pay attention for those mistake and improve lately in the next time.

When you post here, practice your best English. Use the "shift" key. Don't be lazy!

Thank you for taking your time teacher. I will pay attention to for those mistakes and improve lately in the next time.