This letter is going to go to some indian officials.

So could you please rewrite to make it look a little more office. I am hopeless in drafting letters.

Dear Sir,

Respectfully I should like to bring to your kind notice the illegal ferrying of certain market products. This illegal transportation of commercial, sellable products causes an increasing concern and financial stress amongst us middle class businessmen.

Businessmen like me, who wish to run their business through honest means; usually get their goods transported by train paying proper dues fixed by the railway department. But much to our displeasure we have discovered the fact that some selfish, corrupt businessmen somehow manage to ferry their articles in the pantry car and have to pay next to nothing.

It’s a shame illegal activities of this kind are not rare and we, therefore, feel the necessity of drawing your attention to the matter.

We hope you will consider our situation and take necessary action for the elimination of such illegal activities at the earliest for which act of yours we shall remain ever grateful.

Thanking you
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Comments  (Page 2) 
Many many thanks to you anyway.

My pleasure. We all learn something, even by helping others.

When you've had a chance to revise your letter with the correct facts and figures and details, you might want to come back and let us review your letter again.

Again, I want to stress that writing letters such as the one you proposed do carry risk, often grave risk. Often those "evil people" have friends in high places. Once your letter is delivered, other people are sure to read it and they might become extremely angry. That anger can often take dangerous forms. So before you send your letter, please make sure you have properly thought through all the consequences, both positive and negative.

As I said in a prior post, life isn't always fair. Once we recognize that and accept it, we can better plan our next moves.

Good luck!

Just another thought. If you are looking for an excellent book on writing, may I suggest the following two books:

1) Style: Toward Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams. You can find it on Amazon [url="http://tinyurl.com/62rn6 "]here[/url]. ( )

2) Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams. You can find it on Amazon [url="http://tinyurl.com/6qzyd "]here[/url]. ( )

As you can see, these books are highly rated on Amazon.

I need to reread these books myself.

The books are NOT grammar books. Instead, they teach you to write more effective sentences. They provide guidance on how to structure the sentences so that they flow better from one sentence to the next.

I just thought this might be of interest to you.
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Thak you mountainhiker,

I have a look in amazon.com