Hi, could you please review my Motivation Letter I am writing as application for a phD study? It has to be in between 500-1000 words. I would appreciate it very much! Thank you.

Dear Sir/Madam

I am considering a future career in neuropharmacology and doing a PhD will build on the valuable experience I am acquiring here at the ** University.

My immediate plans for 2009, after finishing my M.Sc project in 2008, are to do the required year of Community Service to register as a Pharmacist at the ** Pharmacy Counsel. I was planning to consider all my options in 2009 while doing Comserve, but what I really wanted to look for is an opportunity to undertake a bigger challenge, like a PhD abroad. The opportunity just presented itself a bit early! A while ago Prof. ** (Ph.D), Director of Research Unit: Drug Research and Development/ Professor of Pharmaceutics, **, forwarded an email from ** to the Pharmacology Department, ** University. Prof. ** encouraged us to seriously consider the opportunity and she stated that “It sounds fantastic!”

The fact that the ** is bringing knowledge from all over the world together to encourage connections between foreign Universities, makes a PhD in Paris a very attractive, agreeable option indeed. The bonus is who wouldn’t love to study at an , rated under the top 30 Universities worldwide and to see ! Learning French will be hard, but luckily I am relatively good at languages and thanks to the French courses you present for foreign students I have peace of mind about it and even look forward to the challenge!

Neuropharmacology won my interest over in the last two years and I have a desire to extend my knowledge and experience in Neuroscience. Some of the project opportunities and involved teams at ** that caught my eye because they have common characteristics than my current study are: “Study of glutamatergic neurotransmission in the normal or pathological central nervous system of rodent and human”, “Developmental role of neurotransmitters”, “Neuropsychopharmacology and Neurodegenerative diseases”.

I am good with troubleshooting, I like to solve problems and I have had plenty of experience in it this year with the 2 methods I had to optimize for rat brain tissue. I am a dedicated student, enthusiastic about my work and can work overtime to achieve a goal. The inputs and guidance of other researchers are valuable to me and I support the contribution and numerous other assets of group work, but I can also function very well independently.

I know that I have the background and competence to succeed in the program and I am eager to apply what I have learned during my Masters in further studies. Please consider me as a candidate for PhD in 2010.

Yours Sincerely

Although this letter (which is too long to review in full) is grammatically correct (with some awkward wording) I would change the tone. In the opening sentence I would use a much stronger word than "considering": it makes you sound like you're not serious about your career. "Planning" would be a better choice. My revision would be

I am planning a career in neuropharmacology and want to enter your PhD program to build on the work I have done here at ** University.

The exclamation points in the letter should all be eliminated. Although you should include your interest in study abroad and your reassurance to the program that you will be able to learn French, you should cut those two points to a bare minimum and not use them as an introduction. Your main emphasis should be your experience in neuropharmacology and neuroscience. Good luck!
Thank you ferpectedit!

I'm definitely going to follow your perfect edit recommendations!

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