I have to write a motivation letter to a company stating my ambitions and my motivation from their firm which made me to apply for a position with their comapny. Can some on please check this and correct or suggest me any thing.

thanks a lot..



As a post graduate student with international standards, my primary ambition is to build a strong and secured platform for a perfect career as a business analyst. When I did my research into ********, I came to believe that it is a kind of start I needed, a learning, professional, ambitious and performance driven environment that every graduate would dream to start their professional career with. With my experience in *******and enhanced skill set with a tremendous project experience gained in UK, problem solving, analytical and exceptional communication skills, I have no hesitation in saying that I will be an asset to the firm.

My insight into the company’s website has formulized numerous facts like the company has been enhancing the business sector of ABC country; it is responsible for functioning and managing of various other sectors which account for the country’s development, they way it ventured into the market with new technologies, a user friendly approach etc have stimulated in me a sense of enthusiasm towards market research and business development in ABC country. Furthermore, the company’s perception of understanding its customers, its dexterity in gaining market knowledge and focus on growth and development have motivated me to become a part of such a precise, friendly and exciting environment. I'm sure that I can make a positive and healthy impact on the team and assist the firm to maintain its great reputation.

I would be happy to help you write a motivational letter. Your attempt presented here, however, is far from what you will need to be taken seriously.

When seeking employment, you must not employ phrases in your letter that mean little, if anything at all: what is “a student with international standards?” What is “a strong and secure platform for a perfect career?” (Is there such a thing as a "prefect" career?)

Careers are built upon sound educational foundations and advanced by employment choices well suited to the individual’s particular abilities. This is what you want to say - why not just say it rather than using phrases from "corporate speak" you have seen in PowerPoint presentations or gibberish from corporate websites? Furthermore, while it's good to project a positive image of yourself, you should be very careful not to sound too cocky (I have no hesitation in saying that I will be an asset to the firm..).

I realize that you cannot give too much detail about the job in question here in these public forums. So, if you would like to continue you may contact me via my email (it's in my profile). In keeping with the spirit of EnglishForward.com, I suggest we post your final letter here on this thread (after removing any sensitive information) to help others write better letters of motivation.

Regards, John