Hey please help me, I need to write a motivation letter for my exchange. Could you please read my letter and post comments. This is my first letter. Thanks!

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Motivation Letter

Dear Ms *,

With this letter, I would like to apply for the * Program at the University * in the autumn semester of the academic year 2011-2012. I am a third year Bachelor student in Landscape Architecture at the University of * in the Netherlands.

There are several reasons for my interest in studying abroad. First of all I would like to do something challenging and adventurous, and I would like to see more of the world. Secondly studying abroad would give me the opportunity to meet new people with different backgrounds, and work together with people from different cultures who all have their own perspective on things, and experience another educational system. Furthermore it would also give me a chance to improve my English skills and maybe even learn another language. It would give me an unique experience to live in another environment and to gain more independence.

Because I’m still a Bachelor student, and I’m only going for one semester, I want to study at an European University to follow courses for my minor. Ever since I was young I’ve been interested in Scandinavia and the Arctic Region. When I was traveling true Scandinavia last summer Finnish culture and nature really appealed to me because it is seems to be so different from the Netherlands. I only experienced summer in the North, but I would also like to experience the intriguing winter and maybe see a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis.

The University * appealed to me because it is the northernmost university in the European Union, and it is relatively small. This makes the contact with professors more personal. I was looking for courses in English and the International courses at your University seems to be a good opportunity for me to specialize in the Arctic Region. I’m also curious to experience the academic freedom, and I hope that within the * Program there will be a lot of people with the same interest but from different disciplines.

The * Program would give me the chance to specialize in the Arctic Region because it also had a multidisciplinary approach like Landscape Architecture. Landscape Architecture also looks at the physical, environmental and cultural aspects of a study area, but I miss the social part in so far I have not practiced so much in scientific writing and research. I think the * Program would help me to improve my writing skills because there need to be written a lot of assignments and because it’s in close contact with the Arctic Research Centre it also focuses on research.

Thank you for considering my application, I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

1 2
Overall, I like your letter. Get rid of your contractions. That is, "I'm" becomes "I am". "It's" becomes "It is".

And get rid of "maybe"s and other vague stuff. Rather than write give me a chance, I would say, give me an opportunity. Generally, I say stick with simple, non-complicated words. So either is fine. However, I prefer opportunity versus chance because chance seems too colloquial and could be used in a different context. Chance often means risk. What are the chances you succeed? Opportunity is not a big word and captures your meaning more directly.

Here's my standard response. You might get some more ideas.

Please ensure that you have spaces between your paragraphs. Otherwise it is too hard to read. My guess is that you pasted your letter into the text box. After you pasted your letter, the spaces were removed. To solve this issue, please do the following:

1) When you begin a new post, type "blah" into an open text box.

2) Then paste your letter.

3) Go back and delete "blah."

Here are some posts you should review. These posts will give you some ideas on the structure of your letter. Overall, I like your letter. It's short, sweet, to-the-point.

Perhaps make a few subtle changes and repost.

http://www.englishforums.com/content/lessons/motivation-letters-part-i.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/SampleLetterMotivationApplication-LetterUniversity/xpzpl/pos...

http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotivationLetterUniversityAbhinav-Gaur13/xqjzg/post.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotivationLetter/prrwb/post.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotivationLetter/xqdwq/post.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/ARevisedMotivationLetter/pzhgh/post.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotivationLetterForAPhD/2/phqcm/Post.htm

http://www.englishforums.com/English/MotivationLetter/5/xqdwq/Post.htm
Thank you for your response. I will make some changes and repost after the weekend.

But I have another question, someone else told me that maybe I should also write what the University will have on me. Why should they choose me?

And indeed it went wrong with the paragraphs but I will do that also when I repost my letter. Thanks and I hope that you can give me some other advice when I repost.
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I believe I answer your question in my links.

>>But I have another question, someone else told me that maybe I should also write what the University will have on me.

Have on you? They don't have anything on you. That's why you are writing.

In my first link, I talk about your letter being an interview where you get to ask and answer the questions. Effectively, you want to discuss why you will make a great candidate.

Spend an hour or so looking through the links I provided. They will help you.
Motivation Letter Version 2.0

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Motivation Letter Arctic Studies Program

.

18April, 2011

.

Dear Ms Severidt,

.

With this letter, I would like to apply for the Arctic Studies Program at the University of Lapland in the autumn semester of the academic year 2011-2012. I am a third year Bachelor student in Landscape Architecture at the University of Wageningen in the Netherlands.

.

There are several reasons for my interest in studying abroad. First of all I would like to do something challenging and adventurous, and I would like to see more of the world. Secondly studying abroad would give me the opportunity to meet new people with different backgrounds, and work together with people from different cultures who all have their own perspective on things. Thirdly it would give me the opportunity to experience another educational system. Furthermore it would also give me the opportunity to improve my English skills and learn another language. It would be a unique experience to live in another environment and I would gain more independence.

.

Ever since I was young I have been interested in Scandinavia and the Arctic Region. When I was traveling trough Scandinavia last summer Finnish culture and nature really appealed to me because it is so different from The Netherlands. I only experienced summer in the North, but I would also like to experience the intriguing winter and see a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis.

.

The University of Lapland appealed to me because it is the northernmost university in the European Union, and it is relatively small. I believe this makes the contact with professors more personal. I was looking for courses in English and the International courses at your University seem to be a good opportunity for me to specialize in the Arctic Region. I am also curious about the academic freedom, and I hope that within the Arctic Studies Program there will be a lot of people with the same interest.

.

The Arctic Studies Program would give me the opportunity to specialize in the Arctic Region because it also has a multidisciplinary approach like Landscape Architecture. Landscape Architecture also looks at the physical, environmental and cultural aspects of a specific landscape or region. I would like to improve my scientific writing skills and focus more on research. I expect the Arctic Studies Program will contribute to improve my writing skills because many of the courses include a writing assignment, and because it is in close contact with the Arctic Research Centre it also focuses on research.

.

I look forward to your positive response.

.

Yours sincerely,

.

Floor van Gils

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Please post some comments if you have read my letter. Thank you!

.
Motivation Letter Version 2.0

................................................................................................................................................

Motivation Letter Arctic Studies Program

. 18 April, 2011

.

Dear Ms Severidt,

.

With this letter, I would like to apply for the Arctic Studies Program at the University of Lapland in the autumn semester of the academic year 2011-2012. I am a third year Bachelor student in Landscape Architecture at the University of Wageningen in the Netherlands.

.

There are several reasons for my interest in studying abroad. First of all I would like to do something challenging and adventurous, and I would like to see more of the world. Secondly studying abroad would give me the opportunity to meet new people with different backgrounds, and work together with people from different cultures who all have their own perspective on things. Thirdly it would give me the opportunity to experience another educational system. Furthermore it would also give me the opportunity to improve my English skills and learn another language. It would be a unique experience to live in another environment and I would gain more independence.

.

Ever since I was young I have been interested in Scandinavia and the Arctic Region. When I was traveling trough Scandinavia last summer Finnish culture and nature really appealed to me because it is so different from The Netherlands. I only experienced summer in the North, but I would also like to experience the intriguing winter and see a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis.

.

The University of Lapland appealed to me because it is the northernmost university in the European Union, and it is relatively small. I believe this makes the contact with professors more personal. I was looking for courses in English and the International courses at your University seem to be a good opportunity for me to specialize in the Arctic Region. I am also curious about the academic freedom, and I hope that within the Arctic Studies Program there will be a lot of people with the same interest.

.

The Arctic Studies Program would give me the opportunity to specialize in the Arctic Region because it also has a multidisciplinary approach like Landscape Architecture. Landscape Architecture also looks at the physical, environmental and cultural aspects of a specific landscape or region. I would like to improve my scientific writing skills and focus more on research. I expect the Arctic Studies Program will contribute to improve my writing skills because many of the courses include a writing assignment, and because it is in close contact with the Arctic Research Centre it also focuses on research.

.

I look forward to your positive response.

.

Yours sincerely,

.

Floor van Gils

................................................................................................................................................

Please post a comment if uou have read my letter. Thank you!

.
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I have commented before. So I won't repeat those same comments, which still apply.

If someone were to ask the following:

- Applicant's favorite topics?
- Applicant's academic performance?
- Applicant's accomplishments?
- Applicant's abilities?

How would I answer?

All I know is that the applicant is interested in the Arctic and wants to improve his/her English skills. You need to provide more information.
Thank you for your comments. Here is version 3.0 of my motivation letter.

I find it really hard to write something about my academic performanced.. i am still a bachelor student and so far i have only followed compulsory courses. Also what about my acomplishments? I have been chairman for my study association for one year.. should i also but that in my letter?

And what is ment by abilities?

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Motivation Letter Arctic Studies Program

18 April, 2011

Dear Ms Severidt,

With this letter, I would like to apply for the Arctic Studies Program at the University of Lapland in the autumn semester of the academic year 2011-2012. I am a third year Bachelor student in Landscape Architecture at the University of Wageningen in the Netherlands.

There are several reasons for my interest in studying abroad. First of all I would like to do something challenging and adventurous, and I would like to see more of the world. Secondly studying abroad would give me the opportunity to meet new people with different backgrounds, and work together with people from different cultures who all have their own perspective on things. Thirdly it would give me the opportunity to experience another educational system, and to improve my English skills and lean another language. Furthermore it would be a unique experience to live in another country and environment and I would gain more independence.

Ever since I was young I have been interested in Scandinavia and the Arctic Region. When I was traveling through Scandinavia last summer the Finnish culture and nature really appealed to me because it is so different from The Netherlands. I am very interested in the Arctic flora and fauna because the animals, plants and humans have adapted to such a harsh environment. I have only experienced summer in the North, but I would like to experience the intriguing winter and see a glimpse of the Aurora Borealis.

The University of Lapland appealed to me because it is the northernmost university in the European Union, and it is relatively small. I believe this makes the contact with professors more personal. I was looking for courses in English and the International courses at your University seem to be a good opportunity for me to specialize in the Arctic Region. In my study Landscape Architecture we mainly focus on the Dutch environment but I would like to broaden my view and focus on the Northern climate and specially on the impact of global change in the Arctic Region. Because in my further career I would like to contribute to a safe and sustainable world.

With the knowledge about the physical, environmental and cultural aspects of the North I will be able to solve problems and combine it into a landscape design. With this exchange I also will be able to find a topic for my bachelor thesis somewhere in the Arctic Regions. I am also curious about the academic freedom, and I hope that within the Arctic Studies Program there will be a lot of people with the same interests.

The Arctic Studies Program would give me the opportunity to specialize in the Arctic Region because it also has a multidisciplinary approach like Landscape Architecture. Landscape Architecture also looks at the physical, environmental and cultural aspects of a specific landscape or region. I would like to improve my scientific writing skills and focus more on research. I expect the Arctic Studies Program will contribute to improve my writing skills because many of the courses include a writing assignment, and because it is in close contact with the Arctic Research Centre it also focuses on research.

I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Flova

.......


I find it really hard to write something about my academic performanced.. i am still a bachelor student and so far i have only followed compulsory courses. Also what about my acomplishments? I have been chairman for my study association for one year.. should i also but that in my letter?

And what is ment by abilities?

This is all about academic abilities. Surely after two or three years, you have discoverd where your strengths and weakness lie? Talk about your strengths? What courses do you like and why?

Should you mention you chairmanship? Yes, absolutely. You've displayed some leadership qualities. I presume you learned something through the experience? Tell the reader why you chose to accept extra responsibilities and what you accomplished.

What is meant by abilities. Your strengths. Tell us what you are great at. Where do you excel?

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
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