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We are getting closer. Still some small points.

9 April 2011
Dear Mr. xxx,

I am writing to apply for a Ph.D. position at the xxx, Theory Division of xxx, <city>.

In 2009 I received my Bachelor of Science degree in Physics with top grades, placing in the top decile of my class. At present I am furthering my academic studies in the field of Plasma Physics at the University of xxx. During my final year of my bachelor program, I became fascinated by this subject while completing my bachelor report on the feasibility of nuclear fusion. In September 2011 I will obtain a Master of Science degree, and I expect to place among the very best students of my year.

Last year I was selected as an Erasmus exchange student at the University of xxx. I strengthened my theoretical knowledge and become conversant with the most recent standards and technologies of Inertial Confinement Fusion by attending extracurricular classes. Moreover, I met people from different backgrounds and cultures. I found this experience personally and professionally rewarding because, by comparing our backgrounds and our outlooks for the future, I have a deeper appreciation of the different perspectives in physics in the European contest.

"contest" should be "context". However, I think we can do better. Notice, too, that "backgrounds" is used repetitively. We can fix that.

Moreover, I met people from all over Europe with different backgrounds and cultures. I found this experience personally and professionally rewarding because, by comparing our outlooks for the future, I have a deeper appreciation of the different perspectives in physics.

In the above rewritten portion, the reader understands that the different backgrounds and cultures affects the outlooks for the future. We don't need to repeat "backgrounds."

At the same time, I had the opportunity to undertake my master thesis work on “High Intensity Laser-Plasma Interaction” at the Lab xxx, <institution>, within a cooperation project between xxx (Prof. xxx, <university>, France) and xxx (Dr. xxx, <university>, Italy). In everyday (I think, one word, check) laboratory activities I acquired advanced skills and techniques, especially those related to modelisation of physics problems through numerical methods, and I sharpened my critical thinking while developing a research oriented aptitude.

In everyday (I think, one word, check) laboratory activities I acquired advanced skills and techniques, especially those related to modelisation of physics problems through numerical methods, and I sharpened my critical thinking while developing a research oriented aptitude.

Everyday is one word. I am still not entirely happy with this sentence. How about the following:

Version 1

By conducting (normal/innovative/) laboratory activities, I acquired advanced skills and techniques, especially those related to modeling of physics problems through numerical methods and sharpened my critical thinking and analysis.

Version 2

By conducting (normal/innovative/) laboratory activities, I sharpened my critical thinking and analysis as well as acquired advanced skills and techniques, especially those related to modeling of physics problems through numerical methods.

So what did we do here? First I got rid of everyday. The stuff you're doing is likely advanced (not everyday). But we can't use "...advanced laboratory activities, I acquired advanced skills..." Too many "advanced" uses. See if you like what I wrote in the first part of your sentence. Improve upon it if you can.

Next, modelisation is not really a word. It's technical mumbo jumbo that sort of creates a word. However, modeling is a word. And that's really what you are doing. Next, I deleted the "developing a research oriented aptitude." No one will doubt your abilities or your interest. So I don't like stating the obvious. Moreover, I tend to think of aptitude as a natural innate attribute. In other words, it is hard to develop. To me, the important part is that you are continuing to develop and sharpen your critical analysis and thinking. And you've said that. Thus, I'd stop where I did.

My thesis work led me to become interested in more theoretical topics, such as relativistic and quantum field theory approaches to plasma physics. Because no consistent theories on collective QED phenomena have been developed yet, I am even more enthusiastic to investigate a nearly unknown subject, which is of key importance in the comprehension of light-matter interaction fundamentals within the regime of next generation laser sources. Because of For these reasons, I want to continue my studies at xxx, for its renown reputation in topics that ignite my curiosity the most.

You had two sentences back-to-back that began with "Because." We had to be more creative and find another word.

Given my record of high academic achievement and strong interest in your division research, I am certain that, if given the opportunity, I will enjoy working on the research project: “Relativistic light-matter interactions”. Furthermore, because this subject is a personal passion, I will do my best to exceed your expectations. In addition to my academic qualifications, I am confident that my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to receiving your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,
Many thanks, sorry for answering so late: I went out to relax a bit!
Now, what about the next draft?

9 April 2011
Dear Mr. xxx,

I am writing to apply for a Ph.D. position at the xxx, Theory Division of xxx, <city>.

In 2009 I received my Bachelor of Science degree in Physics with top grades, placing in the top decile of my class. At present I am furthering my academic studies in the field of Plasma Physics at the University of xxx. During my final year of my bachelor program, I became fascinated by this subject while completing my bachelor report on the feasibility of nuclear fusion. In September 2011 I will obtain a Master of Science degree, and I expect to place among the very best students of my year.

Last year I was selected as an Erasmus exchange student at the University of xxx. I strengthened my theoretical knowledge and become conversant with the most recent standards and technologies of Inertial Confinement Fusion by attending extracurricular classes. Moreover, I met people from all over Europe with different backgrounds and cultures. I found this experience personally and professionally rewarding because, by comparing our outlooks for the future, I have a deeper appreciation of the different perspectives in physics.

At the same time, I had the opportunity to undertake my master thesis work on “High Intensity Laser-Plasma Interaction” at the Lab xxx, <institution>, within a cooperation project between xxx (Prof. xxx, <university>, France) and xxx (Dr. xxx, <university>, Italy). By conducting laboratory activities, I sharpened my critical thinking and analysis as well as acquired advanced skills and techniques, especially those related to modeling of physics problems through numerical methods.(I like it as it is. I just wanted to mark that before my thesis work, I've only attended classes and given exams, so I learned stuff in a passive way. Now I'm doing research, my scientific behaviour is active; but I have to recognise that stating this in a short sentence results in a clumsy phrase and sounds odd in the above context)

My thesis work led me to become interested in more theoretical topics, such as relativistic and quantum field theory approaches to plasma physics. Because no consistent theories on collective QED phenomena have been developed yet, I am even more enthusiastic to investigate a nearly unknown subject, which is of key importance in the comprehension of light-matter interaction fundamentals within the regime of next generation laser sources. For these reasons, I want to continue my studies at xxx, for its renown reputation in topics that ignite my curiosity the most.

Given my record of high academic achievement and strong interest in your division research, I am certain that, if given the opportunity, I will enjoy working on the research project: “Relativistic light-matter interactions”. Furthermore, because this subject is a personal passion, I will do my best to exceed your expectations. In addition to my academic qualifications, I am confident that my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to receiving your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
I like it. I might add or subtract a comma here or there, but those are subjective.

One small point: "In addition to my academic qualifications, I am confident that my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program."

"Add more", more is redundant.

Before you call this letter complete, I am going to ping another person behind the curtains. He or she likely has a better eye for the more granular details.

Overall, I am happy with your letter. I think it reads well and shows your enthusiasm and passion.

Please check back again tomorrow to see if there are other comments.

As an aside, you obviously have an exciting future ahead of you. As an engineer, I have an appreciation of your abilities. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

If you have an opportunity, please come back and let us know when you have been accepted.

Again, please check back again tomorrow to see if there are any other comments.
Thank you very very much. I hope to succeed in obtaining my Ph.D, so I also hope to may tell you that the motivation letter did well. Anyway, I'll let you know!
I suggested all my friends who're having the same problems of mine to come here and have a look, I hope it doesn't annoy you! I found your help really valuable; again, thanks a lot.
Yeah, I got it!

I got my Ph.D. Thank you very much for all your help!

Thank you again,

Mattia
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
Hi Mountainhiker,

Well done! Emotion: clap

Clive
Thank you madmattia. I am glad to know that you succeeded. And I appreciate that you came back to let us know.

Thank you Clive for your comments. Emotion: smile
hello,
I am applying for Ph.D. in different universities but I am not getting any positive response. I need some help to improve my cover letter. I also want to know the difference between MOTIVATION LETTER and COVER LETTER.
COVER LETTER written by me is written below.
Please provide me some of your help.

I have always been fascinated by the enigma of life. My parents, being doctors, fostered my interest in science. I naturally took up Biotechnology as my undergraduate specialization, as I believed it would bring me closer to finding answers to the challenging questions of biology, for instance, how levels of complex molecules interact to enable autonomous functioning of living beings. My Bachelors gave me an exposure to a variety of core science courses with strong conceptual understanding. I was exposed to an equal knowledge of subjects through a balanced syllabus with courses in Biochemistry, Molecular Biology, Biostatistics, Immunology, Microbiology, Cell Biology, Genetics, Bioinformatics, Fermentation, Genetic Engineering, Bio-nanotechnology, Animal and Plant biotechnology.
During my undergraduate, I developed special interest in Molecular biology, Bio-nanotechnology, plant and animal biotechnology and therefore I did my final year Three month training in the subject of plant tissue culture under the supervision of Dr. (Er.) XXXXXX in XXXXX University, (CITY). My final year dissertation was on the topic “xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”.
In 2011, I joined post-graduate programme in biotechnology from XXXXXXX University, (CITY), India. In the final semester of my post-graduation I did 3 months dissertation on the topic “XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX” under the supervision of Dr. XXXX XXXX. During entire dissertation tenure I developed an intrest in computational studies and communicated different research articles and some of which have been accepted.
I enjoy being a team-worker as well as a leader. I developed my team-skills by undertaking several group projects during my undergraduate course work. I learnt the art of leadership when I was the principal organizer for the technical symposia specify name, year at my college.
My project gave me insights into how protein molecules, enzymes in particular work in a precise manner to bring about chemical reaction that leads to a different kind of results. During project work I also developed in neuro-informatics studies as well as cancer research. It further strengthened my interest in pursuing a science and therefore I decided to pursue a PhD as my next step to reach my long term goal for leading a scientific career.
My current goal is to pursue a doctorate degree. I believe this would give me the opportunity to be on the cutting-edge of research, with experts in the field. I am impressed by the work going on in area/lab name and I would love to be a part of the team and make productive contributions. I envision myself working as a research scientist in the next four to five years. I believe that will provide me the ideal environment to help me realize my dream.
Personally, I am a versatile person with an inquisitive nature a key component in research. I have always tried to gain as much as I can from my teachers and superiors.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Motivation LETTER

Dear sire
I am applying for a place on the PHD course at the University of
Jilin because I am very interested in the topics covered particularly in material science and My interest in these subject was first aroused during my MSc,studies at the Sana'a University where I studied and
I chose to do a final year research topic on material science During my research I sourced documents relating to my interest was further aroused
when reading Your course not only covers the above topics but will
also introduce me to the new areas of which will broaden my knowledge and understanding of the topic as a whole. I achieved a very high grade for my dissertation and I am keen to build on my interest in research during the dissertation element of the course. I am expecting to attain a high degree which
I hope will demonstrate my academic ability to study at this level.

My work placement at research lab of material science and analysis my reasearch sample during theise period reinforced my interest in this topice and I was able to experience the effects of applying Government legislation in a working environment. My main role was to monitor the sample through excremental surveys XRD,XRF,SEM and to analyse the data using statistical software such as origin Lab Pro2015, Data studio, MDI jade. I wrote two papers from my mater thesis which was well received acceptance and published by different original journal. This experience helped me to develop relevant skills in constructing ,analyses results , and writing succinctly.

I am particularly keen to study at the department of Material Science In the Jilin University because of your research interests in and your reputation of excellence in these fields. The international reputation of the department attracts such a variety of students and I believe it will be a stimulating environment in which to study the PhD level. Your university also provides excellent working and recreation facilities for graduate students which demonstrate your commitment to the graduate student body.

Following the doctoral course I would like to pursue my interest in research in the area of hight quakity either through doing a PhD or possibly researching with a government department or other public sector body.