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i m applying for a busary and they need a motivation letter why i think i deserve the busary,

here is my letter can you please correct me



I am writing in response to the ad that you placed with<<newspaper name>> about the job of a Nursing Student in your hospital. I was really waiting for an opportunity like this; hence I would be very pleased to apply for this position.

I have undergone training as a nurse and I also hold a diploma in nursing . I have good communication, organization and communication skills and possess all the qualities that a good nurse should have.

I am registered with SA nurse council and I have the training requirements that are needed by professional nurses. I would really enjoy working with your hospital.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
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I am applying for the nursing position you advertised in EnglishForward Newspaper on 14 February 2011.

I have undergone training as a nurse and I also hold a diploma in nursing. I have strong communication, organization and communication skills. (communication 2x?) (Provide an example(s). eg., At present I am employed at a seniors' home where I develop their weekly schedules and help them interact among themselves and with their friends and family. In others words, you already use communcation and organization and more communication in your present job.)

Moreover, I have the training requirements that are needed by professional nurses and am registered with SA nurse council.

Because my qualifications match your requirments and because of my enthusiasm and passion, I am confident that I will excel / exceed your expectations / whatever.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to meeting you for an interview.

Sincerely,
You
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Thank you