hi everyone... i wrote this motivation letter for a Japanese Program. I'm sure that i made many mistakes... could you try to correct them... thanks a lot.. i have to sent it next week.. so soon..
thanks a lot really

Dear Company,
Kenzo Tange, Toyo Ito, Tadao Ando… the best-known Japanese architects ever influenced me a lot during my architectural formation in university. I’m fascinating the way to new and old Japan weave each other so harmoniously without creating inconsistencies blind.

X Y… the name of a future architect who wants to discover the world before working. I began my architectural career four years ago when decided to enrol at Polytechnic of Milan. I chose Architecture and Society’s field to be able to create buildings for people, to live there, to feel themselves at home.
I’m studying in Polytechnic of Milan, but first at all I’m studying looking outside my home, looking buildings when I visit a new city, looking behaviors of people… I under graduated in 2004 and the day after this event I took the fly to go in Spain. I spent one awesome year in Spain with Erasmus Program so I frequented there the first year of Science of Architecture.
During my career I tried to discover the world around me, for this reason I followed some stages about technological field in Europe. I spent two weeks in Krakow (Poland), I had a general overview what Intelligent Building Systems consist on and how can they improve our life; I stayed also two weeks in Belgrade (Serbia), I learned how to use web tools for developing web pages and algorithms; I passed two weeks in Oporto (Portugal) too, for gaining more knowledge in the field of structural engineering. All these experiences helped me to know my life, to know the world and to appreciate everything around me. I’m proud of my lucky career because of my study-trips. Now I can compare and change information with other cultures, I can communicate in the language of the country that I visit, understand better habits and customs. This is amazing.

Why XXX Program? I was thinking about it since my first year in university. I attend all this time for the reason I wrote: I would like to compare myself and my studies and find new old cultures weaved with new standards. Japan is one of the country full of materials where new and old are constantly in game. I would like to deepen this method of research going there to get the perspective of Japanese culture, so little transmitted abroad. I also would like to live in their midst to approach a world that, if we do not understand the profound and multiple culture, we won’t be able to understand even the production and development without truce that marks all fields such as artistic creations and scientific research. From abroad is almost impossible to enter and understand Japanese culture, which attracts me infinitely and that the only way to approach it is to go directly there.

I consider myself a hard worker and a conscientious student who knows what it means for his personal and professional development. As a motivated, open-minded, positive and ambitious young man, I will do my best to accomplish all tasks given in the XXX Program. I’ll be able to adapt to the society, I read many information about Japanese lifestyle. Furthermore, I had many friends who live or lived there, I talked with a ex-XXX student, he gave me precious information that I will be able to see with my eyes. With my experience gained during my formations in both Italy and Spain, I would be able to adapt to a constantly changing work environment, and get along with individuals of different culture backgrounds. In addition, with my quick adaptability to understand the languages writing and speaking, I will not have to come up against any difficulties in studying cultural or historical subjects. I can offer my Italian positivity, the desire to learn, to enrich my cultural background, but I especially want to be able to compare what were my experiences in education abroad with a fascinating culture that I unfortunately unknown.

Yours sincerely
Welcome to the forum!
I have made some suggestions and comments on your letter, but it does need more work for clarification. Some of the sentences were quite difficult to understand. It was not clear if you were studying in Europe - taking many field trips to various historic cities - or made a career working there, and taking these trips as study-holidays.
dgiova85

Dear Company,
Kenzo Tange, Toyo Ito, Tadao Ando, the best-known (most famous? modern?) Japanese architects ever, influenced me a lot during my my first courses on architecture formation in university. I’m fascinated by the way to new and old Japan (do you mean - they - the architects - weave old and new Japan together?) weaves together each other so harmoniously without creating (harsh?) inconsistencies blind.

X Y… is the name of a future architect who wants to discover the world before working. (If "X Y" is yourself, then I would word this differently. "I am an aspiring architect who...) I began my architectural career four years ago when decided to enroll at Polytechnic of Milan. I chose the Architecture and Society’s field (course of study) to be able to create buildings for people, to live in there, so that they will to feel themselves at home.
I’m studying in Polytechnic of Milan, but first at all I’m studying through observation, looking outside my home, looking at buildings when I visit a new city, looking at behaviors of people… I under graduated (high school?) in 2004 and the day after this event I took the fly to go in a flight to Spain. I spent one awesome year in Spain with the Erasmus Program so I frequented (frequently visited?) there the first year of Science of Architecture. (I don't understand this part of the sentence - did you study architecture, or visit the school of architecture?)
During my career (were you employed at this time?) I tried to discover the world around me, for this reason I followed some stages (took some courses on technology?) about technological field in Europe. I spent two weeks in Krakow (Poland), I had a general overview of what Intelligent Building Systems; what constitues intelligent buildings) consist on and how can they improve our life; I stayed also two weeks in Belgrade (Serbia), where I learned how to use web tools for developing web pages and algorithms; I spent passed two weeks in Oporto (Portugal) too, for gaining more knowledge in the field of structural engineering. All these experiences helped me to know my life, to know the world and to appreciate everything around me. I’m proud of my lucky career ( a career is usually a lifetime job, it does not fit this context) because of my study-trips. Now I can compare and change information with other cultures, I can communicate in the language of the country that I visit, understand better habits and customs. This is amazing.

Why *** Program? I have been was thinking about it since my first year in university. I attended (courses?, school?) all this time for the reason I wrote: I would like to compare(?) myself and my studies and find new old cultures weaved (woven, integrated) with new standards. Japan is one of the countries full of materials where new and old are constantly in play game. I would like to deepen this method of research, going there to get the perspective of Japanese culture; so little is transmitted abroad. I also would like to live in the midst of the Japanese people to approach a world that, if we do not understand the (do you mean the subtleties and norms of the culture?) profound and multiple culture, we won’t be able to understand even the production and development without truce (a truce between combatants?) that marks all fields such as artistic creations and scientific research. (I cannot make sense of this last sentence) From abroad is almost impossible to enter and understand Japanese culture, which attracts me infinitely and that the only way to approach it is to go directly there.

I consider myself a hard worker and a conscientious student who knows what it means for his personal and professional development. As a motivated, open-minded, positive and ambitious young man, I will do my best to accomplish all tasks given in the *** Program. I’ll be able to adapt to the society, I have read many a lot of information about the Japanese lifestyle. Furthermore, I had many friends who live or lived there, I talked with a ex-*** student, he gave me precious information that I will be able to see with my eyes. With my experience gained during my formative years? formations in both Italy and Spain, I would be able to adapt to a constantly changing work environment, and get along with individuals of different culture backgrounds. In addition, with my quick adaptability to understand the languages - both written and spoken writing and speaking, I will not have to come up against any difficulties in studying cultural or historical subjects. I can offer my Italian positivity, the desire to learn, to and enrich my cultural background, but I especially want to be able to compare what were my experiences in education abroad with a fascinating culture that to me is I unfortunately unknown.

Yours sincerely

thank you very much...
i tried to correct it... after a few hours of work i decided to send it to the company... Emotion: wink

all the best Emotion: happy
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
That's fine. If anyone requires editing, I am an expert, I can edit anything. I prefer to put the document in Word and I will email it back to you and post it on the forum for others to learn.

Kind regards
Tricia
how do we send the letters to you can you give me ur email or somethings