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Hello! I would really apreciate if someone could take a look in the below motivation letter. Thank you in advance.


Dear Sir or Madam,

With this letter I hereby wish to apply for the masters’ degree program in xxx at the University of XXX for the 2018-2019 academic year.

I graduated in July 2014 from the department of maritime studies of University of Piraeus. Basic target of the department is to offer a broad grounding in economical, scientific and technical coursework. After the attendance of several seminars, and various courses such as Maritime Economics, Financial management, Business statistics, Accounting and Freight market analysis I gained theoretical knowledge which was most intellectually satisfying and stimulating. However, due to the fact that shipping has a wide range of different disciplinest i decided that I needed first to work in a relative sector and gain work experience in order to able to better understand the function of a shipping company and decide which position/ department best suits my character and skills.

During my studies I worked as an intern in two well-known shipping companies where I managed to develop my interpersonal and communication abilities. After my graduation I worked in a NYSE company as an assistant operator for 2 months. Despite the short period that I stayed in the department it was a quite enlighting period since I had the opportunity to acquire detailed knowledge and understanding of both the operations and financial strategies of shipping. I had daily cooperation with almost all the departments of the shipping company including the finance department which really contributes to my decision of orienting to a more financial position. After the completion of my internship, I joined the freight collection department in which I have been working up to today. Being in such a position and having cooperation with the finance and trading department, updating the departments of current freight rates and calculating estimated budget of the vessels that are in progress, i was able to view finance from a different scope. Working 3.5 years in a highly competitive and stressful environment, I have been able to develop my analytical capabilities and learned how to handle and prioritize the workload. An element of my character that I believe will be useful during the course of subject master.


However, apart from the skills and knowledge that I acquired throughout the years, I realized that despite being in a leading global brand, the environment is quite family oriented. Companies tent to trust to managerial positions, people that are family related and treat with cautiousness the non-related ones. However, I believe that as companies expand they should adhere a more corporate attitude. This urged me to start searching ways to evolve and extend my knowledge in order to be able to chase a position in the finance department. This lead me into thinking that a master is the only way to improve and to acquire a solid understanding of the financial and trading activities.

My career objective is to pursue a career as a financial and trade analyst. After reviewing the courses that you offer I strongly believe that this master will be a stepping stone to my onwards career. The compulsory course of ‘’ Research methods in finance’’ is of high interest to me since it assists students acquire a solid background of the tools needed to analyze financial problems. The fact that the master provides courses that are taught from a case study approach such as ‘’ Business research and consulting’’ really fulfils my requirements concerning a master degree. From the entire process, I am confident that I will acquire the skills and knowledge that are necessary to meet the needs of a finance department.

Being aware of the dedication and perseverance needed in order to achieve the best results in the field I strongly believe that my background will qualify for such a master program. To better introduce my background and skills I have enclosed the CV and professional achievements together with this motivation letter. Thank you for considering my application.



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Please do not double-post.


Hello! I would really apreciate if someone could take a look at the below motivation letter below. Thank you in advance.


Dear Sir or Madam,

With this letter I hereby wish to apply for the masters’ degree program in xxx at the University of XXX for the 2018-2019 academic year.

I graduated in July 2014 from the department of maritime studies (proper name?) of University of Piraeus. (Missing word) Basic target of the department is to offer a broad grounding in economical, (Does the coursework cost less money than equivalent courses at other universities?) scientific and technical coursework. After the attendance of several seminars, and various courses such as Maritime Economics, Financial management, Business statistics, Accounting and Freight market analysis (missing punctuation) I gained theoretical knowledge which was most intellectually satisfying and stimulating. (Was that after your degree, or during your course of study? It is confusing.) However, due to the fact that shipping has a wide range of different disciplinest i decided that I needed first to work in a relative sector and gain work experience in order to able to better understand the function of a shipping company and decide which position/ department best suits my character and skills.

During my studies I worked as an intern in two well-known shipping companies where I managed to develop my interpersonal and communication abilities. (Didn't you have any ability to communicate prior to this?) After my graduation I worked in a NYSE company as an assistant operator for 2 months. (Spell out small numbers in formal writing) Despite the short period that I stayed in the department (missing punctuation) it was a quite enlighting period since I had the opportunity to acquire detailed knowledge and understanding of both the operations and financial strategies of shipping. I had daily cooperation with almost all the departments of the shipping company including the finance department which really contributes to my decision of orienting to a more financial position. (I don't understand the last sentence.) After the completion of my internship, I joined the freight collection department in which I have been working up to today. Being in such a position and having cooperation with the finance and trading department, updating the departments of current freight rates and calculating estimated budget of the vessels that are in progress, i was able to view finance from a different scope. Working 3.5 years in a highly competitive and stressful environment, I have been able to develop my analytical capabilities and learned how to handle and prioritize the workload. An element of my character that I believe will be useful during the course of subject master. (fragment)

However, apart from the skills and knowledge that I acquired throughout the years, I realized that despite being in a leading global brand, (A brand is a consumer product like Coca Cola.) the environment is quite family oriented. Companies tent to trust to managerial positions, (wrong comma) people that are family related and treat with cautiousness the non-related ones. However, I believe that as companies expand they should adhere a more corporate attitude. This urged me to start searching ways to evolve and extend my knowledge in order to be able to chase a position in the finance department. This lead me into thinking that a master is the only way to improve and to acquire a solid understanding of the financial and trading activities.

My career objective is to pursue a career as a financial and trade analyst. After reviewing the courses that you offer I strongly believe that this master will be a stepping stone to my onwards career. The compulsory course of ‘’ Research methods in finance’’ is of high interest to me since it assists students acquire a solid background of the tools needed to analyze financial problems. The fact that the master provides courses that are taught from a case study approach such as ‘’ Business research and consulting’’ really fulfils my requirements concerning a master degree. From the entire process, I am confident that I will acquire the skills and knowledge that are necessary to meet the needs of a finance department.

Being aware of the dedication and perseverance needed in order to achieve the best results in the field I strongly believe that my background will qualify for such a master program. To better introduce my background and skills I have enclosed the CV and professional achievements together with this motivation letter. Thank you for considering my application.

Comments  

Hello! I would really appreciate if somenone could take a look at the below motivation letter. Thank you in advance.


Dear Sir or Madam,

With this letter I hereby wish to apply for the masters’ degree program in xxx at the University of XXX for the 2018-2019 academic year.

I graduated in July 2014 from the department of maritime studies of University of Piraeus. Basic target of the department is to offer a broad grounding in economical, scientific and technical coursework. After the attendance of several seminars, and various courses such as Maritime Economics, Financial management, Business statistics, Accounting and Freight market analysis I gained theoretical knowledge which was most intellectually satisfying and stimulating. However, due to the fact that shipping has a wide range of different disciplines I decided that I needed first to work in a relative sector and gain work experience in order to able to better understand the function of a shipping company and decide which position/ department best suits my character and skills.

During my studies I worked as an intern in two well-known shipping companies where I managed to develop my interpersonal and communication abilities. After my graduation I worked in a NYSE company as an assistant operator for 2 months. Despite the short period that I stayed in the department it was a quite enlighting period since I had the opportunity to acquire detailed knowledge and understanding of both the operations and financial strategies of shipping. I had daily cooperation with almost all the departments of the shipping company including the finance department which really contributes to my decision of orienting to a more financial position. After the completion of my internship, I joined the freight collection department in which I have been working up to today. Being in such a position and having cooperation with the finance and trading department, updating the departments of current freight rates and calculating estimated budget of the vessels that are in progress, i was able to view finance from a different scope. Working 3.5 years in a highly competitive and stressful environment, I have been able to develop my analytical capabilities and learned how to handle and prioritize the workload. An element of my character that I believe will be useful during the course of subject master.


However, apart from the skills and knowledge that I acquired throughout the years, I realized that despite being in a leading global brand, the environment is quite family oriented. Companies tent to trust to managerial positions, people that are family related and treat with cautiousness the non-related ones. However, I believe that as companies expand they should adhere a more corporate attitude. This urged me to start searching ways to evolve and extend my knowledge in order to be able to chase a position in the finance department. This lead me into thinking that a master is the only way to improve and to acquire a solid understanding of the financial and trading activities.

My career objective is to pursue a career as a financial and trade analyst. After reviewing the courses that you offer I strongly believe that this master will be a stepping stone to my onwards career. The compulsory course of ‘’ Research methods in finance’’ is of high interest to me since it assists students acquire a solid background of the tools needed to analyze financial problems. The fact that the master provides courses that are taught from a case study approach such as ‘’ Business research and consulting’’ really fulfils my requirements concerning a master degree. From the entire process, I am confident that I will acquire the skills and knowledge that are necessary to meet the needs of a finance department.

Being aware of the dedication and perseverance needed in order to achieve the best results in the field I strongly believe that my background will qualify for such a master program. To better introduce my background and skills I have enclosed the CV and professional achievements together with this motivation letter. Thank you for considering my application.



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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

Thank you for your comments/ corrections. I've changed several things basis yr comments. Could you please check?


Dear Sir or Madam,

With this letter I hereby wish to apply for the masters’ degree program in xxx at the University of XXX for the 2018-2019 academic year.

I graduated in July 2014 from the department of maritime studies (proper name?The full name of my diploma is: University of Piraeus, School of maritime and industrial studies, department of maritime studies. Should i write it in a different way?) of University of Piraeus. (Missing word the sentence should begin differently?) Basic target of the department is to offer a broad grounding in economical, (Does the coursework cost less money than equivalent courses at other universities? No it doesn't. ) scientific and technical coursework. During my studies i attended several seminars, and various courses such as Maritime Economics, Financial management, Business statistics, Accounting and Freight market analysis that really provoked my interest. However, due to the fact that shipping has a wide range of different disciplines I decided that I needed first to gain work experience in order to able to better understand the function of a shipping company and decide which department best suits my character and skills.

During my studies I worked as an intern in two well-known shipping companies where I managed to work in different departments and get familiar with the procedures that are followed. After my graduation I worked in a (without the a?)NYSE company as an assistant operator for two months. Despite the short period that I stayed in the department, I had the opportunity to acquire detailed knowledge and understanding of both the operations and financial strategies of shipping. I had daily cooperation(is it wrong? should i say work together?)with almost all the departments of the shipping company including the finance department. After the completion of my internship, I joined the freight collection department in which I have been working up to today. Being in such a position, helped me realize that i needed in depth knowledge of finance in order to better understand the function of the finance and trading departments and be more productive. Working 3.5 years in a highly competitive and stressful environment, I have been able to develop my analytical capabilities and learned how to handle and prioritize the workload which will be an asset for me during the course of subject master.

However, apart from the skills and knowledge that I acquired throughout the years, I realized that despite being in a leading shipping company the environment is quite family oriented. Companies tend to trust to managerial positions people that are family related and treat with cautiousness the non-related ones. However, I believe that as companies expand they should adapt a more corporate attitude. This urged me to start searching ways to evolve and extend my knowledge in order to be able to seek a position in the finance department. This lead me into thinking that master in finance is the only way to improve and to acquire a solid understanding of the financial and trading activities.

My career objective is to pursue a career as a financial and trade analyst. After reviewing the courses that you offer I strongly believe that this master will be a stepping stone to my career. The compulsory course of ‘’ Research methods in finance’’ is of high interest to me since it assists students to acquire a solid background of the tools needed to analyze financial problems. The fact that the master provides courses that are taught from a case study approach such as ‘’ Business research and consulting’’ really fulfils my requirements concerning a master degree. From the entire process, I am confident that I will acquire the skills and knowledge that are necessary to meet the needs of a finance department.

Being aware of the dedication and perseverance needed in order to achieve the best results in the field I strongly believe that my background will qualify for such a master program. To better introduce my background and skills I have enclosed the CV and professional achievements together with this motivation letter. Thank you for considering my application.

The formatting is so confusing that I cannot give any rational commentary. I suggest this for the highlighted text:

I had to coordinate my work with almost all the departments of the shipping company including the finance department.

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