Please help-help!!!
Dear ladies and gentelmen i need your help with my motivation letter please check!!!


Dear Madam or Sir,

With this letter I would like to apply for ****at ***starting in September 2008. I am taking this step as the culmination of a very important key period of my life. This summer I successfully completed my Bachelor in “Management of organizations” program with a specialization “Manager of tourism industry” in ****

From childhood I have a lot of hobbies: traveling, reading, listening to the music, singing and etc. In school my favorite subjects were languages, history and geography. When I was traveling with my family we stayed in different hotels, and one day I’ve realized that hospitality sphere , this is what I like, what I want to do and where I want to work. This fact impelled me to enter one of the best universities in Ukraine and study management of tourism. For two years I have been working in the ****first international hotel in Ukraine. Now I completely understand that hospitality industry is changing all the time, hotels are like living organisms that is why as a good manger you need to know how to solve problems, how to organize people, what steps to make for the profit of the enterprise and industry. In my opinion the process of “taking care of people”, bringing them pleasure, receiving positive emotions and references is so pleasant and absolutely incomparable to any production process.

There are many specific reasons why I want to study in the *** and at **By reading brochures, surfing through the Internet, watching familiarizing movies, coming on the open date, speaking with alumni I got to know the program. I like the *** for its coziness, internationality, stability, high traditional values and culture. My clear aims of education there are: to receive high-quality Master degree, to get respectable, high-paid, prestigious job in the international hotel chain or to become a General Manager of a big hotel ; to get in touch with many people, to be coached by professional tutors, to feel myself confident, to be responsible for my own future. It is leading hotel school of the world and is considerate to be the heart of hospitality. In addition I like the fact that a lot of presentations and on-campus recruitments are held there it gives an opportunity to be hired by worldwide company.

I am open-minded, honest, easy-going, cheerful person. My attitude to education is very decisive, in all my acts I’m trying to be maximum clear and logical. I am able to organize people and I am always trying to be reliable, responsible and helpful. I adore association with different people; strongly believe in long-lasting friendship. I am sure that “entrepreneurial learning” concept will reveal my skills I want to be responsible for my progress.

Finally, I think that Master program of *** seems to be the best for gaining the European experience of hospitality, excellent place to start my career as well as to meet many interesting people. Please find enclosed my CV, diploma with marks, application form and references.

I greatly appreciate your kind efforts and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,
Dear Madam or Sir,

With this letter I would like to apply for ****at ***starting in September 2008. I am taking this step as the culmination of a very important key period of my life. This summer I successfully completed my Bachelor in “Management of organizations” program with a specialization in “Manager of tourism industry” in ****

From childhood I have a lot of hobbies: traveling, reading, listening to the music, singing, and etc. In school my favorite subjects were languages, history and geography. When I was traveling with my family we I stayed in different hotels, and one day I’ve realized that hospitality sphere , this is what I like, what I want to do and where I want to work. in this way I had naturally developed an interest in tourism industry. This fact impelled me to enter Eventually, I got admitted into one of the best universities in Ukraine and study studied management of tourism. For the two years I have been working in with the ****first the best known international hotel in Ukraine. Now I completely understand I am well aware that hospitality industry is changing all the time, hotels are like living organisms that is why as requiring a good manger you need to who will know how to solve problems, how to organize people and to take what steps to make the business profitable. for the profit of the enterprise and industry. I do believe that taking good care of the customers, catering to their needs and showing respect to their emotions are some of the best traits of a good manager in this field. In my opinion the process of “taking care of people”, bringing them pleasure, receiving positive emotions and references is so pleasant and absolutely incomparable to any production process.

There are many specific reasons why I want to study in the *** and at **By reading brochures, surfing through the Internet, watching familiarizing movies, (coming on the open date, speaking with alumni = what did you mean by this. This makes not sense.) I came got to know about the program. (I like the *** for its coziness, internationality, stability, high traditional values and culture.= I fail to make out what you have meant by it) The reason why I am applying for the course is that it will help me My clear aims of education there are: to receive a high-quality Masters degree, to get a respectable, high-paid and prestigious job in one of the international hotel chains or to become a General Manager of a big an internationally reputed hotel. ; to get in touch with many people, to be coached by professional tutors, to feel myself confident, to be responsible for my own future. It is leading hotel school of the world and is considerate to be the heart of hospitality. In addition I like the fact that a lot of presentations and on-campus recruitments are held there it gives an opportunity to be hired by worldwide company.

I belive I am a open-minded, honest, easy-going and cheerful person. My attitude to education is decisive, in all my acts I’m trying to be maximum clear and logical. I have good experience in organizing customers in a reliable, responsible and helpful manner. am able to organize people and I am always trying to be reliable, responsible and helpful. I adore association with different people; strongly believe in long-lasting friendship. I am sure that “entrepreneurial learning” concept will develop reveal my skills I want to be responsible for my progress.

Finally, I do believe think that the Master program of *** will give me immense opportunity to gain first hadn experience about the European way of providing hospitality. seems to be the best for gaining the European experience of hospitality, excellent place to start my career as well as to meet many interesting people.

Please find enclosed my CV, diploma with marks, application form and references.

I greatly appreciate your kind efforts consideration and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

.........................

You should have mentioned the name of the course. Too many adjectives make any sentence bad. Try to write as simple as possible.

I hope someone expert in your field will come and make further necessary corrections.
Thank you ! It was a great help now I have i time to think about this letter again:))))!!Thank you!!
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Thank you so much you made it perfectly!