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Hi,

I am currently working on a Motivation Letter for a Master Programm. This is my first draft and I hope you can help me out and give me some tips.

The admission hiearchy is like this:
  • Letter explaining the applicant's motivation to follow this course of studies and his/her research interests.
  • Curriculum vitae.
  • Academic record.
  • Accreditation of a good knowledge of English.
  • Two reference letters.
  • Others
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am applying to your Master program "Aerospace Science and Technology" starting in September. This program is a concrete step towards my career goal, a doctorate in the field of fluid dynamics.

At the Gymnasium I graduated with physics and engineering as my majors. Because of my excellent grades and passion for science and technology I studied physics in CITY where I was awarded with the diploma (corresponds to a Master Degree). The University of CITY (now CITY Institute of Technology) is one of Germany's top technical Universities. I put my focus in experimental and applied physics, choosing engineering subjects as my minors.
During the one year diploma thesis in SPECIALIZATION physics I gained valuable experience through development, construction and operation of a complex measuring setup. This included, apart from the theoretical part, writing a measuring software, designing technical parts and handling sensitive electronics.
Computing is an essential part of my life, I enjoy programming and have taken part in a Data Mining Competition where our team won the first price. The task was to forecast purchase quantities for several products as exactly as possible.

I am currently participating in the University startup "STARTUP NAME", where we work in a small team creating tomorrow's service robots. Due to this professional experience I acquire knowledge in a broad field of science and engineering.

Beside my studies I am an active member of VOLUNTEERING ORG, LONG NAME OF ORG, where I was secretary and later president of the CITY branch. With VOLUNTEERING ORG I worked on a broad spectrum of topics with enthusiastic young people from all over Europe. Currently I am in a project team, which aims towards the establishment of an active transatlantic network of youth organisations interested in strengthening the cultural and political dialogue between Europe and Latin America. For my commitment to VOLUNTEERING ORG I was honoured with the volunteering award of the University.

My extracurricular activities also include five semesters of Spanish and six semesters of English lessons offered by the University; I hold the Unicert Language Certificate Level III (C1 according to CEFR) in English for Science and Technology. Additionally I attended successfully (89% in the exam) a Level C2 English proficiency course.

Due to my interest in languages and working with people all around the globe I have learned to be comfortable in an international environment.

Having reviewed several programs I am confident that this program is the best way to face the challenges in the ultimate field of engineering and technology. The UPC has an excellent reputation and I will be happy to pursue my dreams and ambitions.

With my experience I am certain that I will bring a high level of expertise in the field of science and interpersonal skills to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,
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Hello.

A very nice letter. Feel free to contact me by email (it's in my profile) if you would like to work on an additional draft or make corrections to my suggestions below.

Sincerely, John

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply for admission to next September’s Aerospace Science and Technology Master Program. Completion of this program is an essential element in obtaining my career goal of a Doctorate in fluid dynamics.

During my university preparatory studies, I majored in physics and engineering. After graduation, I studied physics at CITY, one of Germany's top technical Universities, where I received my MSc (note: some use only MS to indicate a Masters Degree in Science). While at CITY, my studies focused primarily on experimental and applied physics with engineering as my minor.

During my one-year diploma thesis in SPECIALIZATION physics, I gained valuable experience through development, construction and operation of a complex measuring setup. Apart from the theoretical aspects, this included writing measuring software, designing technical elements, and handling sensitive electronics.

Computing is an essential part of my life; I enjoy programming and even took part in a Data Mining Competition where our team won first prize. The task was to forecast, as precisely as possible, purchase quantities for several products.

I am currently participating in the University start-up "STARTUP NAME", where we work in small teams creating tomorrow's service robots. Thanks to this professional experience, I have acquired extensive knowledge in broad areas of science and engineering.

In addition to my studies I am an active member of VOLUNTEERING ORG, LONG NAME OF ORG, where I was secretary and later president of the CITY branch. With VOLUNTEERING ORG I worked on a wide spectrum of topics with enthusiastic young people from all over Europe. Currently I am involved with a project, whose aim is to establish an active transatlantic network of youth organisations interested in strengthening cultural and political dialogue between Europeans and Latin Americans. For my work there I was honoured with the University’s volunteering award.

My extracurricular activities include five semesters of Spanish and six semesters of English instruction offered by the University. I hold a Unicert Language Certificate Level III (C1 according to CEFR) in English for Science and Technology. Additionally, I successfully completed a Level C2 English proficiency course. I am quite comfortable in international settings thanks to my interest in languages and the opportunities I’ve had to work with people from all over the globe.

Having reviewed several programs, I am confident that this program is the best suited for me to move forward in my chosen field and the best way to face new challenges in engineering and technology. The UPC enjoys an excellent reputation and I would be honoured to pursue my dreams and ambitions at your institution. Given my background and sincere motivation, I am certain that I will bring a high level of expertise to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Sincerely yours,
Comments  
Hi,

Thanks a lot for your tips.