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Personal Statement by Sofiane Mhiout.

Dear Sir/Madam,

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in joining the masters program at Your respective institution, the High Arab Institute of Translation.

My Name is Sofiane Mahiout. As of 2019, I have graduated from the university of Lounici Ali, Afferon Blida with a Bachelor Degree in Arabic Literature. Now, i aim to extend my language studies to English Literature, as a Masters student of Translations in your institution.

My interest in English dates back to a very young age, since then, i have been developing my skills and capabilities in all of the aspects of this language, building a strong grammar in both speaking and writing as well as enriching my personal vocabulary library, now i can confidently say that I’m fluent in this language.

With the belief that translation is necessary for the spread of information, knowledge, and ideas. And It being absolutely necessary for effective and empathetic communication between different cultures. I have grown a love for this career which pushed and motivated me to seek refuge in your masters program as a way to grow and build a career as a translator, and the program that you are offering is the best way for me to achieve my goal.

To my knowledge, this program is very competitive, attracting highly motivated students, but I am convinced that my linguistic skills and my motivation make me a strong recommendation for a place at it.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon and I would like to thank you for taking your time with this letter.


Yours Sincerely,

Sofiane Mahiout

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Your capitalization and punctuation is very irregular. The personal pronoun "I" is always capitalized. Common nouns and pronouns are not. You also make frequent comma splice errors and some sentences are incomplete fragments.


Personal Statement by S. M. (This abbreviation and those that follow are to make this letter less discoverable. Restore them to full text when you edit your letter)

Dear Sir/Madam,

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in joining the master's program at Your respective institution, the H A I of T .

My name is S M. As of 2019, Earlier this year I have graduated from the University of L A , A B with a Bachelors Degree in A L . Now, I aim to extend my language studies to English Literature, as a master's student of Translations in your institution.

My interest in English dates back to a very young age. Since then, I have been developing my skills and capabilities in all of the aspects of this language, building a strong grammar in both speaking and writing as well as enriching my personal vocabulary. library now I can confidently say that I am fluent in this language.

With the belief that translation is necessary for the spread of information, knowledge, and ideas. (Fragment, prepositional phrase, not a complete sentence.) And It being absolutely necessary for effective and empathetic communication between different cultures. (Fragment, non-finite clause, not a complete sentence.) I have grown a love for this a career as a translator which has pushed and motivated me to seek refuge (??) enroll in your masters program as a way to prepare myself for this grow and build a career as a translator, and the program that you are offering is the best way for me to achieve my goal.

To my knowledge, this program is very competitive, attracting highly qualified motivated students, but I am convinced that my linguistic skills and my motivation make me a strong candidate for a position. recommendation for a place at it.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon and I would like to thank you for taking your time with this letter.


Yours Sincerely,

S. M.

Comments  
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I will provide some additional comments for your consideration. . It is difficult to comment on a motivation letter that is already being reviewed. It is difficult because AlpheccaStars might be wanting to move your letter in one direction, and I might propose something different. Then, you, the student, become confused with two sets of different instructions. So, I will make a few quick comments and then leave you and AlpheccaStars to work on your letter. . Here's my comments: . - Dear Sir/Madam (I refrain from slashes and other shorthand devices when writing formal letters.)
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- In the second paragraph of your letter, you state "My name is S.M." That's useless (or at least redundant) information because your name is at the bottom of the letter. If I saw someone writing a letter that told me their name, I would immediately know that he or she is inexperienced at writing letters.
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- Most importantly, your letter does not tell me very much. You started liking English at a young age. Everyone who applies for this program has an interest or passion for English. You tell me you're fluent. What if I told you that I am a great singer. By that I mean, there's no proof. You and I can say whatever we want about our skills, and our statements are useless. Tell me something that you did with your knowledge of English. Give me proof of your passion, interest, and capabilities.
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- In short, your letter does not tell the reader anything meaningful about you. You like English and want to be a translator.
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- As a reader of a motivation letter, I want to be able to describe your characteristics to others. Why are you special? What fires your passions? How do you plan to make a difference in the lives of others? Why should I give you a spot in this program? How will you contribute? What is in your background that makes you deserving?
. Good luck with your revisions. . (I put dots throughout in an attempt to force paragraph separation. Some paragraphs and points are commingled. I don't know why.)

MountainHiker It is difficult to comment on a motivation letter that is already being reviewed. It is difficult because AlpheccaStars might be wanting to move your letter in one direction, and I might propose something different.

I am suggesting corrections only to the grammar, leaving the letter as close to the original text as possible.


I did not comment on the content, but I do agree with you that in that regard, it is a rather routine, unimaginative and uninformative cover letter.

AlpheccaStarsI am suggesting corrections only to the grammar, leaving the letter as close to the original text as possible.

Understood.

AlpheccaStarsI did not comment on the content, but I do agree with you that in that regard, it is a rather routine, unimaginative and uninformative cover letter.

I have seen many of your comments on essay type questions. You do an admirable work. I especially like when you provide the other person with an opening sample paragraph. That gives them something to aim for and emulate.

These motivation letters are difficult. My approach tends to be twofold: one, help the student with the content; and two, help the student with the grammar. There is no right or wrong way to help with motivation letters.

Some (most or almost all) students simply do not know what is expected of them. Nobody has ever taught them to how to write a letter. So, they just carry on as though they were writing to a friend who understands them and knows their history. Unfortunately, that approach does not work. Instead, they need to learn to write an effective letter.

If the other person is reading our comments, here's an old motivation letter from several years ago: https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseReviewMotivationLetter/pwcmp/post.htm

To the other person, go through the iterations. You'll notice that the author of the motivation letter told the reader her strengths and provided evidence of her strengths.

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