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Hey,

I want to become a doctor, but first of all I have to get accepted by a university. I hope there is somebody, who can help me out. Iam sure, I made a lot of mistakes in my letter. Please help me ...

Dear Sir or Madam,

my name is XXXX, Iam XX years old and Iam living in XXX, Germany. Since my childhood, it is my big dream to study medicine. I was always interested in the human body. For me it is fun to explore how the anatomy is structured, how processes take place and what opportunities physicians have to cure diseases. To puzzle about something and to keep myself busy with difficult cases fascinates me. The connection between scientificaly work and being in contact with humans to treat them, is the perfect field of work for me.

I made my first practical experiences, when I did an intership at the 11th grade in a hospital for two weeks, to see into the daily life and work of nurses and doctors. After finishing highschool, I did my second voluntary internship at the hospital. I accompanied a doctor at the intensive care unit and was able to see how physicians are working. It was so much fun for me and it just confirmed my wish to study medicine. After that, I had to form up my civilian service for the German government. Due to my wish to study medicine, I worked 9 months as a paramedic. During my training to become a paramedic, I did my third internship at the hospital. I was able to work with patients. It was allowed to me to perform a tracheal intubation and to respirate the patient and to do venous punctures etc.. But sometimes I was very disappointed, that we learned the most things too superficially, and I felt not being challenged sufficiently. When I asked the tutor questions, which went into the deep, he just advised me, that this is a training for becoming a paramedic and not a medical study. I felt disappointend, because I could not quench my thirst for knowledge. Thus, I have to study medicine!

Once even involved in a emergency at the hospital, I had to do a cardiopulmonary resuscitation and I even succeed and saved the patients life. That was a great example to see how much helpful medical knowledge can be. And it was also a great feeling and experience, to help a human and saving his life, which made me very happy. After the trainingship, I worked as a educated paramedic. To be responsibel for my patients, to treat and to take care of them has always shown me, that there is nothing else than my biggest wish to become a physician. All my experiences confirmed my decision to become a doctor and made my wish just stronger.

Now after I finished my 9 months as a paramedic, Iam going to do my fourth internship at the hospital for two months, during the application period of your university.

My teachers, my colleagues, my parents and my friends would describe me as very motivated, disciplined, activ and creativ. My hobbys are writing, playing piano, reading books and doing sports. I wrote sometimes for the local newspaper here, too. Besides 2010 , I won the „Literaturpreis xxxx“, a literary prize, for one of my short stories. Iam also very activ in politics, I even have a seat in the civic centre in xxxx, Germany and Iam a delegate for education. I worked together with politicians and tried to get aid to disadvantaged groups. Besides I helped children of immigrant families to improve their skills in german, mathematic etc. to get better in school.

I heared a lot of good experiences of your university and I really would like to become a student of yours. To learn a new culture, a new language and to study together with many international students is in my opinion very exciting and a unique chance and alternative, which Iam not able to experience in Germany, my home country.

Yours respectfully,

xxxx
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AnonymousHi. Firstly you need to spellcheck you letter.
Six years after the letter was written???
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Is there really nobody, who wants to help me?
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Please ... I do not have much time anymore. Its just 10 minutes work, please help me
Hi. Firstly you need to spellcheck you letter. Secondly you need to have the grammar and phrasing checked by a native English speaker as there are flaws there also.

Before you submit your motivational letter you should try to converse with a friendly, knowledgeable and interested medical professional in order to have your letter reviewed for content and style, so that you are including factor details that are relevant and that you come over as mature.

I hope that helps.
 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
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Well, that letter is from 2011!! He/she might be a doctor now!