Hello, I would really appreciate If anyone could take a look to my motivation letter for scholarship, I'm happy to receive any corrections and recommendations, Thanks a lot!!!

Dear Madame,
First I would like to express my appreciation for the opportunity to apply for this scholarship. I hold a degree in Industrial Engineering from the University Libre of Colombia.
I was admitted to the Msc in BA with enphasis in Marketing for the fall 2010 but unfortunately I was not able to start the programme because of financial matters.
The opportunity to pursue a master's course in Switzerland represents the next important challenge in my life. The last two years have taught me that studying and living abroad can help not only broaden my horizons but accelerate my personal and academic growth as well. The main reasons for choosing The university of Bern were the high quality of education that the institution offers, the opportunity of meeting and associating with people from all over the world and to be immersed in a society with a global outlook and politically neutral understanding of life, a model to be followed in my opinion.
My objective is to pursue the Msc in Business Administration and Marketing, taught entirely in English, plus living and breathing the international atmosphere and integrating with Swiss-German speaking people in order to develop a third language. This is undoubtedly one of the motivations for studying in a country as multicultural as Switzerland.
I come from Cúcuta, an small city located in Colombia on the borderline with Venezuela badly beaten by the severs diplomatic ties between this countries. Nowadays, one of the strategies of Colombian government is to declare my hometown as free port which will reactivate the commercial trade in this region deteriorated by the bad bilateral political and commercial affairs during the last 3 years.
One of my professional projects after completing the Master programme in Switzerland is to have a tool in administration and marketing, and certain level of knowledge in business management which will provide me the ability and confidence necessary to work and contribute with the develop of my region to build a culture of peace on the border commercially speaking .
I am aware that I am applying for full financial support from the university to cover tuition and living expenses. Due to my financial situation, I am totally reliant on the generosity of the university to support my studies. I would like to ask you to consider me for any scholarships, (teaching assistantships, or research assistantships) or other awards for which I could be eligible.
Finally I am determined to make the most out of the scholarship benefits. I will optimize my stay at The University of Bern to garner a wealth of ideas that will apply when I return to my country and at the same time contribute to the University's diversity.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Sincerely yours,
from my piont of view your letter is perfect.l have to admit l even borowedsome of the ideas from yout letter and it has really helped me alot
I think it is a very good piece. Which opened my eyes to other prospectives.