This is a discussion thread · 1 replies
Im applying to study psychology on a bachelor level.
This is my first motivation letter, so Im open for any critics, about how could I make this letter better..
After I graduated in my high school, I didn’t really know what my direction should be to study forward.
So I decided that it is not the time to make that decision, and when the time comes Im going to know what to choose.
So I wanted to get a taste of the adult world, and I really wanted to do a backpack travel in South America.
I knew I will need money for that, and in my home country in Hungary would take a long while to reach that amount.
So basicly I pointed on a map somewhere in western Europe, and that is how i got to live and work in Amsterdam. I worked there in an Irish Pub for a year to collect enought money for my journey.
And after a year I was on a flight to Buenos Aires alone.
It was important for me that I do it alone, independently.
That way I can learn more about my boarders, about my limits, I hoped to learn how can I manage situations, on my own, and it did make me stronger.
It gave me a stronger personality and a deeper trust in my inner sense, and a good Spanish knowledge.
I spent there almost 9 months, i travelled trough 7 country's.
I enjoyed the nature, the views, the food, the culture, and the people and the cultural differences, which made me think on behaviours between people in big city's, in towns and communities in the jungle.
And I started to be really interested in how people act, the way they act.
While I was travelling, I had a several backpackers, I been travelling with, sometimes for 1-2 months or weeks, or just a couple hours on the bus.
They been all really different, interesting people then what Im use to in daily life, mostly between the age of 20-28 but also older ones,I will never forget the man age of 40, whos mission was to to play on a wooden flute on different mountain peaks.
I have met with a lot of interesting life stories and experiences, ambitions, pasts which made them be who they are, and do what they been doing.
So I realize, that I would like to know more about people minds, what makes them who they are, why they manage things the way they manage them, how it is they make decisions, whats going through person’s mind while they are acting the way they do. And theese experiences inspired me to study psychology.
For me to study in English is necessary in order to have the knowledge in a world wide language, so in the future I will be able to use it different parts of the world, to try to help with it more people.
Im choosing this University, because I believe that it can give me the right knowledge,the opportunity to have that knowledge, and I am aware of that a lot is depending on me.
I believe that my past experiences and my future ambitions will aid me in the succession of my studies.
uld I make this letter better!
I looked over your motivation letter, and I have a few suggestions for you.
I think the story that you tell about your experiences and how you decided that you wanted to study psychology is very interesting. I would include a little more information on how these interesting encounters with people influenced your decision to study psycology- as it is currently, you only mention "So I realize, that I would like to know more about people minds..." Can you expand on this?
Right now there are a lot of grammar errors with your letter. Please go through and make sure your verb tenses are consistent. If you are talking about an experience in the past, then your verbs need to show past tense. There are also a lot of punctuation problems. It looks as if you are using a comma where a period (full stop) should be throughout the letter. I can help you correct your grammar when you have refined the content.
I hope this helps! Sounds like you have had an interesting life so far!
People are waiting to help.