Could someone plese help me with my letter of motivation?
I'm not sure if it is good or not.
I've heard that the letter is the most important part of my application.

Dear Madam or Sir,

I will complete my A-Levels in July 2008 at the „'######“ in Berlin, Germany. I am writing with reference to the possibility of obtaining a place to study at your University.

I have always wanted to study Fashion Design. This has been my desire since I was about ten years old. I started to make dresses for my barbies with materials and cloth my mother gave me. I soon realized what Fashion meant to me. Fashion tells stories about people and reflect their mood.

Two years ago I made costumes for a performance of „Romeo and Juliet“ taking place in my community, which was a great benefit to me. I got a feeling for textiles and pattern. In the last I improved my drawing and stiching skills and I want to learn much more.

I have always wanted to design clothes and my dream is to have an own label. But before creating an own label I would like to work together with different designers to share ideas and gain experiences.

I hope my letter of motivation gave you some ideas of who I am and why I chose to study Fashion Design.

I am convinced the programme offered your University suits my interest very well. I would be very happy if you could decide in favour of my application.

I am looking forward to hearing from you

Yours sincerly,
"...for my Barbies..."

"Romeo and Juliet"

"...and pattern and also improved my drawing and stitching skills; I want to learn much more."

" have my own label, but before this I need to work with...and gain experience."

delete the sentence "I hope my letter of..."

"...offered at your..."

"...hearing from you."


[Good luck Jade88!]
Well, I think your letter of motivation looks like informal leteter, which could be send only for friend, becouse, in my opinion, that person, who will read your letter won't be interested in barbies and so on Emotion: indifferent. So, my advice for you is to write more oficial letter. Good luck Emotion: wink

P. S. don't forget that you can find letter of motivation samples on the internet.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
god bye
i thinks it good

Don't mention twice that you have always wanted to do fashion designing.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies