Hello, I have written a motivation letter for an undergraduate degree in UK. Would you please have a look at it and show me my mistakes. I would really apreciate this. Thank you in advance

Dear Sir or Madam,

Recently my country Bulgaria became a member of the European Community and that requires to transform its economy according standards of the European Union. Thus the country needs new ideas and young professionals.

Interaction with various backgrounds and cultures raises the awareness of the student. Furthermore it improves the language skills, enriches with knowledge and prepares to enter competently in real life and professional realization.

I have been studying english since I was five years old and I have visited London three times during my summer holidays and I was impressed by many things there. I truely appreciated the way of communication between people. I have had a desire to study advertising for a long time. For this reason I have been working part time for an advertising agency and from which I have derived great pleasure. I have an ambition to work for an advanced agency in the future and demonstrate good skills, but I realize that an appropriate educations is needed and I believe that Your University

would give me much academic preparation and practical experience. I am highly motivated by the competitive nature of the field I have chosen. I will work hard to achieve my goals and aspirations.To obtain a degree from a British Institution will be an honour and if given a chance, I will do my best to succeed.

I do not expect this to be easy, none the less I am ready and excited for the future. I am very social, creative, with a sense of responsibility and I think the Advertising Undergraduate Program will suit my personality completely. Confucius once said : „Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.“ That is why I will do my best to handle all the pressure and demands which are part of completing the academic program. I am very social, creative, with a sense of responsibility and I think the Advertising Undergraduate Program will suit my personality completely.
Hi Iva:
I wish you success in your studies!
Your letter is quite good. I have added some modifications, and suggestions for you to think about. These letters are quite challenging to write!
iva_petkovaHello, I have written a motivation letter for an undergraduate degree in UK. Would you please have a look at it and show me my mistakes. I would really apreciate this. Thank you in advance

Dear Sir or Madam,

Recently my country, Bulgaria, became a member of the European Community. and tThat requires it to transform its economy according to the standards of the European Union. To make this difficult transformation, Thus the country needs new ideas and young professionals. (You might add here that you want to be one of these young professionals, and that you would like to prepare by obtaining a degree in the UK)

Interaction with various backgrounds and cultures raises the awareness (awareness of what?) of the student ("student" is very impersonal here, are you this student?). Furthermore it improves the language skills, enriches with knowledge and prepares one to enter competently in real life and professional realization (? realization is not a good object of "enter", please re-write this sentence. Maybe you mean "prepares one to start their career with confidence").

I have been studying English since I was five years old and I have visited London three times during my summer holidays and I was impressed by many things there. (run-on sentence) I truely appreciated the (easy way in which people communicate) way of communication between people. I have had a desire to study advertising for a long time. For this reason I have been working part time for an advertising agency and from which I have derived great pleasure. I have an ambition to work for an advanced (advanced is not the right word here, maybe international, top-notch, renowned or first-class) agency in the future and demonstrate good skills, but I realize that an appropriate educations is needed and I believe that Your University

would give me much the required academic preparation and practical experience.(run-on sentence) I am highly motivated by the competitive nature of the field I have chosen. I will work hard to achieve my goals and aspirations.To obtain a degree from a British Institution will be an honour and if given a chance, I will do my best to succeed.

I do not expect this to be easy, none the less I am ready and excited for the future. I am very social, creative, with a sense of responsibility and I think the Advertising Undergraduate Program will suit my personality completely. Confucius once said : „Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.“ That is why I will do my best to handle all the pressure and demands which are part of completing the academic program. I am very social, creative, with a sense of responsibility and I think the Advertising Undergraduate Program will suit my personality completely.(do you mean to repeat the second sentence in this paragraph literally?)

I just forgot to delete the last sentence. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.Emotion: smile