hello,

I want to make a trip to Iceland, but I have to write a letter of motivation before. I just finished school last summer, but I think I´ve forgot a lot of English since then. so please help and correct my letter. It´s just so important.

thanks a lot

Maria

_________________________________________________________________________________

Letter of motivation

On the seminar to in March/ April 2007 would I, Maria Slaby, like to take part. With enthusiasm I have read which opportunities this journey arises.

In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a forest school, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.

My curiosity on further provocations is still not limited. represents for me an additional level of discovery, which offers an inimitable flora and fauna. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason presents non-recurring possibilities to broaden my knowledge. Above all the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting for me. To broaden my mind in this process is one of my essential motives. By this journey it motivates me to place a basement for my speedy studies and collect own experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people, because one gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist.

Especially the adapted ecological way of living in the village gives me a break to gain concrete knowledge and use this practical, too. On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. This gives me the possibility to put individual responsibility and initiative into action.

Simultaneously I would like to utilize and improve my knowledge and experience abroad.

The work with disabled people is not unknown to me, because my mum works as a carer for persons with special educational needs. By active witnessing I want to take a thought-provoking impulse for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is made possible in , is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. In exchange I want to make an allowance for that important aim.

In addition, the opportunity to improve my language ability or rather to learn a bit

Icelandic tempts me. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.

Thinking over my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place in the seminar in .

Sincerely yours
My suggestions below:

I would like to take part in the seminar [is this the right word? Do you mean, field trip or study opportunity?] in in March/ April 2007. I have read with enthusiasm about opportunities this trip offers. [Did you read about it in the prospectus, or the course details, or did you find out about it yourself on the internet?]

In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a forest school, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature. [This doesn’t make sense – do you mean you have been studying in a forest school or you would like to? Is it a forestry school (learning about managing forests) or is it a school in a forest?

I still have much to learn in this area. represents for me an additional level of discovery, with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason presents a unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge. The particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting to me. To deepen my understanding about this is one of my core motives. This journey [?] will provide a solid foundation for my further studies and for collecting future experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic about new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people, because one gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist. [Very long sentence, and a bit clunky. Could you break it into two or three?]

The adapted ecological way of living in the village in particular will allow me to gain concrete knowledge and ideas for its practical application. On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. [This doesn’t make sense. What do you mean here?] I am seeking the opportunity to take individual responsibility and put initiative into action.

At the same time, I would like to improve my knowledge and experience of other countries and cultures.

I am familiar with working with people with disabilities, as my mother works as a carer for people with special educational needs. With hands-on experience, I hope to o take new insights for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is made possible in Iceland [Do you mean, which is making this project in Iceland possible – because it sounds like you think the country Iceland was created by international co-operation], is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. I want to be part of that important aim.

In addition, the project will help to improve my language ability or rather to learn a bit [of what?]

Icelandic tempts me. [this sounds a little strange – can you rephrase it?] I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to test myself in a new environment.

In view of my interests, experiences and expectations, I hope I will get a place on the seminar [?] in .

Sincerely yours

Lil’ Ruby Rose
I´ve read it again and correct a few things you just said. thanks a lto for that....is it ok now?
______________________________________________________________________________________

Letter of motivation

On the study opportunity in in March/ April 2007 would I, Maria Slaby, like to take part. I have read with enthusiasm about the opportunities this trip offers.

In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a school in a forest, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.

I still have much to learn in this area. represents for me an additional level of discovery with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason presents unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge. Above all the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting for me. To deepen my understanding about this is one of my core motives. This journey will provide a solid foundation for my further studies and for collecting future experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people. One gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist.

The adapted ecological way of living in the village in particular will allow me to gain concrete knowledge and ideas for its practical application.

On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. I am seeking the opportunity to take individual responsibility and put initiative into action.

At the same time, I would like to utilize and improve my knowledge and experience of other countries and cultures.

I am familiar with working with people with disabilities, as my mother works as a carer for people with special educational needs. With hands-on experience, I hope to o take new insights for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is making this project in possible, is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. In exchange I want to be part of that important aim.

In addition, the project will help to improve my language ability or rather to learn a little

Icelandic tempts me. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.

Thinking over my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place in the study opportunity in .

Sincerely yours
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
hi,

can Ijust have one more answerabout the correction of my letter of motivation? because tomorrow I want to send it away, but before I just wnat to hear another statement about.

Thanks,

Maria
It doesn't look like you've changed anything? Lil RR gave you some good advice.

Make sure you at least change your intro as suggested as your syntax is all wrong.

On the study opportunity in Iceland in March/ April 2007 would I, Maria Slaby, like to take part.

I, Maria Slaby, would like to take part in the study opportunity in Iceland in March/April 2007.
thank you both for checking my letter. this is now the last version (which I would send tomowrrow)
Could you just have a last look, if everything is ok now?
thanks a lot. have a nice day....

Maria

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Letter of motivation

I would like to take part in the seminar in in March/ April 2007. I have read with enthusiasm about the opportunities this trip offers.

In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a “Waldschule”, a pedagogical facility in the forest, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.

I still have much to learn in this area. represents for me an additional level of discovery with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason presents unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge. Above all the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting for me. To deepen my understanding about this is one of my core motives. This tour will provide a solid foundation for my further studies and for collecting future experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people. One gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist.

The adapted ecological way of living in the village in particular will allow me to gain concrete knowledge and ideas for its practical application.

On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. I am seeking the opportunity to take individual responsibility and put initiative into action.

At the same time, I would like to improve my knowledge and experience of other countries and cultures.

I am familiar with working with people with disabilities, as my mother works as a carer for people with special educational needs. With hands-on experience, I hope to take new insights for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is making this project in possible, is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. I want to be part of that important aim.

In addition, it tempts me that the project will help to improve my language ability or rather to learn a little Icelandic. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.

In view of my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place on the hands-on seminar in .

Sincerely yours
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hello,

i`ve just changes the last things, and that version is the one I would like to send in tomorrow.
Can you just have a last look, if everything is ok now?

Thanks a lot,
have a nice day

maria

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Letter of motivation

I, Maria Slaby, would like to take part in the seminar in in March/ April 2007. I have read with enthusiasm about the opportunities this trip offers.

In the last five month of my ecological year, which I attend till August 2007 in a “Waldschule”, a pedagogical facility in the forest, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.

I still have much to learn in this area. represents for me an additional level of discovery with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology and for this reason presents unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge. Above all the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting for me. To deepen my understanding about this is one of my core motives. This tour will provide a solid foundation for my further studies and for collecting future experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people. One gets by living and working together a real insight into the culture and mentality, which does not happen with the outlook of a tourist.

The adapted ecological way of living in the village in particular will allow me to gain concrete knowledge and ideas for its practical application.

On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits. I am seeking the opportunity to take individual responsibility and put initiative into action.

At the same time, I would like to improve my knowledge and experience of other countries and cultures.

I am familiar with working with people with disabilities, as my mother works as a carer for people with special educational needs. With hands-on experience, I hope to take new insights for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is making this project in possible, is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. I want to be part of that important aim.

In addition, it tempts me that the project will help to improve my language ability or rather to learn a little Icelandic. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.

In view of my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place on the hands-on seminar in .

Sincerely yours

Maria Slaby
Hi Maria – it’s looking pretty good. Just a couple of things to look at one final time:

I, Maria Slaby, would like to take part in the seminar in in March/ April 2007. I have read with enthusiasm about the opportunities this trip offers.

In the last five month of my ecological year, [I have no idea what an ecological year is… in this context, it doesn’t seem to relate to any common English phrase. Will you need to explain this to the person you are writing to?] which I attend till August 2007 in a “Waldschule”, a pedagogical facility [not a phrase on common use – school or college would be fine, depending on the age of the students] in the forest, I have gained a lot of knowledge about nature.

I still have much to learn in this area. represents for me an additional level of discovery with flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the world. I intend to study meteorology or geoecology, and for this reason presents unique opportunity to broaden my knowledge. Above all, the particular geology with volcanoes, geysers, usable geothermal energy and the rough climate are very interesting to me. To deepen my understanding about this is one of my core motives. This tour will provide a solid foundation for my further studies and for collecting future experiences.

As I am very open-minded and enthusiastic towards new things, I am looking forward to the exchange of experience with the indigenous people. Living and working together gives one a real insight into the culture and mentality [this word can have some negative connotations – it might be better to say ‘way of thinking’], which cannot be gained as a tourist.

The adapted ecological way of living in the village in particular will allow me to gain concrete knowledge and ideas for its practical application.

On the one hand I would like to carry on my engagement and in order on the other hand enlarge my own physical and mental limits [still doesn’t make sense]. I am seeking the opportunity to take individual responsibility and put initiative into action.

At the same time, I would like to improve my knowledge and experience of other countries and cultures.

I am familiar with working with people with disabilities, as my mother works as a carer for people with special educational needs. With hands-on experience, I hope to take new insights for alternatives for our way of living back to . Therefore the international cooperation, which is making this project in possible, is an enormous investment for the future of the earth. I want to be part of that important aim.

In addition, it tempts me [‘tempts’ isn’t really the right word for this context. Perhaps you could say “I’m excited by the prospect” that the project will help to improve my language ability and perhaps even to learn a little Icelandic. I think I will get an exchange of experiences, which could leave its mark on my future life.

I would like to test my own limits and enlarge these by new experiences and impressions during the time in .

All in all I think that I am a good communicator and can easily establish relationships. I have an enthusiastic, flexible and energetic personality and would like to try myself in a new environment.

In view of my interests, basics and expectations, I hope I will get a place on the hands-on seminar in .

Sincerely yours

Maria Slaby

Best wishes, and very good luck to you.

Lil’ Ruby Rose
thanks so much...I hope all this hard work will do it....

have a really nice weekend then

MariaBerlin
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