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Hello,
I would like to ask someone to make corrections to my motivation letter. I need it for my Erasmus application to an Italian university. Advices, how to improve it, are welcome. Thank you very much in advance.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply as an exchange student for the Sculpture program at the XXX for two semesters in 2010/11 academic year. I am currently attending my fourth semester of Sculpture program at the YYY in Z-city, W-country.

I have a great passion for sculpture. In my view, there is nothing quite as extraordinary as the rhythms, forms, and patterns found in the spatialized expressions. Altough I am interested in the conceptual dimension of art. I also must state that working in situ is really appeals to me. I strive to contextualise my school projects considering visually and spatially relating to its situation and the area. I have read countless books and articles about sculpture and the art history, and I have visited foremost art museums and exhibitions in my country and some European cities that I have been to.

I know that the experience of studying abroad will help me to develop myself and to improve my knowledge. The Erasmus program seems like the perfect opportunity to meet other cultures, learn another language, experience other educational system and enrich my curriculum vitae, as well as gain more independence.

It has been my ambition to study at the XXX since I visited Florence last summer. I am impressed by everything about the city. I had spent my days walking gaily along the streets of the birthplace of the Renaissance. I felt like I'm touching the history, I was surrounded by art in every step I took. And looking world through the Arno was kind of miracle to me. So I strongly want to take this chance to live in my dream city.

I am presently learning Italian at ‘Istituto Italiano di Cultura' in Z-city. I am very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one year at one of the foremost and the oldest fine art institutions in Europe. I can say that I look forward to join the XXX in order to prove my abilities and gain new skills and I will be patiently waiting for a positive reply.

Yours faithfully,
Name
+1
Haven't you got the name of the addressee? If at all possible, get it (and change the greeting and closing to suit).

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply as an exchange student for the Sculpture Program at the XXX for two semesters in the 2010/11 academic year. I am currently attending my fourth semester of the Sculpture Program at the YYY in Z-city, W-country.

I have a great passion for sculpture. In my view, there is nothing quite as extraordinary as the rhythms, forms and patterns found in these spatialized expressions. Although I am interested in the conceptual dimension of art, working in situ is what really appeals to me. I strive to realize my school projects by considering them visually and spatially relating them to the situation and the area. I have digested countless books and articles about sculpture and art history, and I have visited all of the foremost art museums and exhibitions in my country and the European cities that I have visited.

I know that the experience of studying abroad will help me to develop myself and to improve my abilities. The Erasmus Program seems like the perfect opportunity to interface with other cultures, learn another language, work under a different educational system, and enrich my experience.

It has been my ambition to study at the XXX since I visited Florence last summer. I am impressed by everything about the city. I spent my days exploring enthusiastically the streets of the birthplace of the Renaissance. I felt like I was touching history. I was surrounded by art at every step I took, and looking world through the Arno was a kind of miracle for me. So I strongly desire this chance to live in my dream city.

I am presently learning Italian at ‘Istituto Italiano di Cultura' in Z-city, and I am very delighted at the possibility of spending a year at one of the oldest and greatest fine arts institutions in Europe. I am looking forward to being considered for the Sculpture Program at the XXX, where I hope I can prove my abilities and gain new skills.

I am looking forward eagerly to your positive reply.

Yours faithfully,
Name
Comments  
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
You are amazingly helpful and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much Mister Micawber. Emotion: smile

And actually I have some names, but I don't know who will consider my letter. I have these: Name of Head of Institution, Head of International Relations, and Erasmus coordinator. who do you think I should speak to?
You have no idea to whom the application will initially go? Well, I think I'd choose the program coordinator as the one closest to the selection process.
thank you so much again Emotion: smile
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