it's 1016 i'm about 15mins from meltdown. i need help i'm applying for eop and they want an autobio essay i SUCK at essay writing and could really use someone good in that area plzzzzz ready to cry here.
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Hi,

I have no idea who you are, where you are, what an "eop" is, etc.

You can post what you have created and we can try to help you from there.

I or someone else will see what we can do.

MountainHiker
eop is a finacial assistance program that i really need to be accepted into in order to go to school. here's what i have so far;

the black and white photograph/an autobiographical essay-hiedi
(photograph)

-
"(Alice) 'would you tell me please which way i ought to go from here?'
'that all depends a good deal on where you want to get to, ' said the Cat.
'i don't much care where -' said alice
'then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
'- so long as i get somewhere,' alice added as an explaination.
'oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, ' if only you walk long enough."
(carroll 90)
-

she's young, the girl in the photograph. the contrast is sharp, definate with rich shadows and soft light. her hair is dark and smoothed back. the girl is outside lookin the the glass through the vines that have latched to the house wall. it's a wam day, probably one of the last before autum sets in. she's holding the old camera firmly, steadily, breathing, watching; advance film, focus, light meter, appiture, focus, breathe... with the snap of the shutter i freeze myself in time. This is what i do.

born ***, the twenty-fifth of January, nineteen hundred eighty-one. i was named after my paternal grandfather, ***. the rung of the litter, my sibblings consist of two sisters; (named), and a single brother; (named). we grew up in a three bedroon, one bathroom house on a small deadend street in *New York.

i was a talkative as well as articulate child, though rather shy outside my family. one of the earliest memories i have is of another sunny day a long time before this photograph. it was a few days before my first day of grade school. i am sitting on my dad's lap in our livingroom looking out the window. he tells me how much he's going to miss me when i'm in school for the whole day, not only half as in kindergarden. i survived first grade and each grade that followed. friends came and went as did aqua-net hair spray, rainbow brite, hot pink, and new kids on the block.

a grinning cat once was heard to say; "oh, you're sure to [get somewhere]... if only you walk long enough." (carroll 90) well i have walked a long way......(ran out of brain)

HELP!
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Hi,

It absolutely drives me nuts when people don't bother to capitalize their sentences and write "I" using "i". It says to me, "I am too darn lazy to bother to correctly write my stuff to you." Now, I have to waste my time fixing your sentences. I don't like it. Please read the instructions. Please .

Second thought, you do it. I am too lazy to capitalize your sentences.

The question for the essay is asking what do you want to achieve in life? Where do you want to go?

Your first paragraphs is a waste because you are not answering the major question of what you want to achieve. Second paragraph isn't much better. Third paragraph misses the mark. Fourth paragraph, I have no clue.

Tell them why you want to become a nurse, doctor, surgeon, engineer, computer programmer, lawyer, artist, dancer, teacher, researcher or whatever. Don't tell them, "Once upon a time little Hiedi was born in NYC...and she and her Prince lived happily ever after." Tell them what you want to do, why you want to do it, what special skills and aptitudes you have towards your chosen profession, and what, if any, obstacles you have overcome.

Effectively, you need to start over. You can look at letters by Nadine and Soufiane on this site for some ideas and inspiration.

MountainHiker
i didn't know i had to be an english professor before i could post here, terribly sorry. i dont' know How to write an essay! that's Why i asked for help not to be crapped upon. i woked my *** off all night on that. i suck at writing, i accept that. so help me if you're gonna help. i dont' know how to start it i can't write and outline to save my life. so help me, plz.
i'm sorry i'm Tiered and Frustraighted, and that wasn't very helpful critisim at all. other then telling me i suck at writing... which i'm already quite aware of. i'm applying to major in adolesent edu/mathmatics and a focus in photography. i want to become a math teacher and eventually one at a college level. i want to do this because i love math and it comes naturally to me. i had the most amazing math professor in califorina and he really inspired me more or less to teach math. the reason i want to keep photography close is because i'm an artist NOT a writer. photography and sketching and painting and clay... That's how i best express myself. this is Not my natural element.... so... help, plz.
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Hi,

The challenge is yours. I will help you, but I won't write your essay for you. They are looking to see you express yourself.

If I were you, I would have an outline similar to the following:

1) Who you are and what your ultimate career goal is.

2) Describe your strengths. Give evidence of your strengths.

3) Describe what you want to achieve. How will you make a difference.

4) How does going to this specific university further your aspirations.

Points 1 & 4 are single paragraphs. Points 2 & 3 might be more than one paragraph. And you still haven't told me how long your essay must be.

Again, look at Nadine's and Soufiane's letters.

While you might be frustrated and upset, I still expect you to put forward a strong effort, which includes proper spelling and punctuation. I am not paid to help. I am only helping because I want to. If I sense that I am doing an unfair share of the work or if the other person can't be bothered to communicate in a polite and positive fashion, I will stop. So I expect you will use proper capitalization etc.

MountainHiker
Thank you, the reason I don't punctuate and capitalise is partly because I have VERY poor grammer. I Need this essay though. Every essay in my life can suck after this one. There is no set length stated or any other provisions. It simply said to include an autobiographical essay. Thank you, I know you're helping because you want to and I do appreciate it a great deal.
Should i start more like.
I want to be a math teacher because.....? I really don't know how to start. Is there any way I can work with what I've already written? I really did work Very hard all night on it, i know it seems small but it wasn't easy for me.
My ultimate career goal is actually to not only teach math but to teach in a school for the deaf. I also want to go into photography because that's who I am, That is my strength. Another strength would be my ability and Want to learn. i've always been very curious in everything around me. I don't know how to Show evidence of these things though.
Okay i'm gonna try and just start one at a time.
1> Who am I and what is my ultimate career goal?
I have trouble with the Who am I, part. I really don't know how to answer that. Do they want to know who I am or do they want facts like birthdate, siblings, place of residence? I feel dry and nothing like who I really am writing dry facts with no creativity. That's why I thought if i started with a photograph of me by me that I could build and show more of who I am, not just the facts of my life.
My ultimate career goal is to become a math professor teaching at a deaf school, or even in high school. I want to do this because I enjoy math and have found through my own learning experiences that teachers who enjoy what they teach, teach the best. I love learning and want to teach others who want to learn. I enjoy sharing knowledge and solving puzzels, such as equasions. I know how good it feels to finally Get something and I want to give that to others.
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