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I'm writing a script, and I've got the synopsis here, could someone go over it and tell me if its comprehensible.

  • The movie is about a man who lives his life to the fullest and at the age of 92, timetravels back to 1949, when he was 18 and relives his life a second time, but this time,
    he subconsciously knows what awaits him at every corner, he also has the experience, but one thing he can't do, is rewrite history or else his loved ones will pay the price. The 18 year old finds himself in situations his already been in, and only subconsciously does he know what's going to happen
    Does he have any regrets, will he rewrite history or will he live his new life the way he did his last.
One more thing

In the script at one point I've got a sentence, Which would you use

  • This coin whenever used will give you 24 hours with a loved one of your choice, so use it wisely/this coin whenever used will allow you to spend 24 hours with a loved one of your choice.
Can you use both??

Thank you
Comments  
anyone please?
if someone could take a look it would help me a lot with my script

thank you
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Everything is fine, just take out "the" before experience. (because you really mean "some" experience, you're just not saying it)

You have several run-on sentences (You've tried to combine too many sentences into one)

change the last sentence to:
Does he have any regrets? Will he rewrite history or will he live his new life the way he did his last?

Change the first sentence to:

The movie is about a man who lives his life to the fullest and at the age of 92, time travels back to 1949, when he was 18. He relives his life a second time, but this time,
he subconsciously knows what awaits him at every corner. He also has the experience, but one thing he can't do is rewrite history or else his loved ones will pay the price.

It sounds like a cool movie.