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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people
believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery)
should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on
academic subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You should write at least 250 words.

In this life, everything has its bright side, for instance, in sports it is good for health, however, someone can have injury too .
When it comes to educational purpose, I strongly believe that there will be people who are good at particular subject or, I rather say, activity . Some people are good at sport and some are good at cookery, sometimes they can be good at non-academic subjects and find their way to success . People who are complain about the non-academic subject can give more time to the academic subjects . In my opinion, I dont think the non-academic subject should be remove, otherwise, someone who has potential of becoming good at particular subject might make his way through success, in other word, people have weakness in the academic subject, where some other have strong understanding of the acdemic ones. Sometimes it is good to expand your horizons have diversy knowledge, to have some ideas and to keep your brain active .
Nowdays, some people are using their non-acdmic knoweldge to gain money, and becoming millioners . For instance, as the ones we see in Tvs' nowdays, showing creative ideas on cooking, or people who are good in football/baskeball/baseball/amercain football . As we would not enjoy or learn if those subject were to band at schools .
At last, high school is about to discover who you are, and what are you good at ? I believe people can have their shot in everything.
Comments  
Hi xmagedo;
First work on the problems with individual words and phrases. I have underlined the ones with problems. After you correct these, we can work on sentence structure.

Regards,
A-Emotion: stars

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In this life, everything has its bright side, for instance, in sports it is good for health, however, someone can have injury too .
When it comes to educational purpose, I strongly believe that there will be people who are good at (missing word) particular subject or, I rather say, activity . Some people are good at sport and some are good at cookery, sometimes they can be good at non-academic subjects and find their way to success . People who are complain about the non-academic subject can give more time to the academic subjects . In my opinion, I dont think the non-academic subject should be remove, otherwise, someone who has (missing word) potential of becoming good at (missing word) particular subject might make his way to through success, in other word, people have weakness in the academic subject, where some other have(missing word) strong understanding of the acdemic ones. Sometimes it is good to expand your horizons(missing word) have diversy knowledge, to have some ideas and to keep your brain active .
Nowdays, some people are using their non-acdmic knoweldge to gain money, and becoming millioners . For instance, as the ones we see in Tvs' nowdays, showing creative ideas on cooking, or people who are good in football/baskeball/baseball/amercain football . As we would not enjoy or learn if those subject were to band at schools .
At last, high school is about to discover who you are, and what are you good at ? I believe people can have their shot in everything.
Hi, thank you very much for your time and effort, pleas here is my update.
Correct my mistakes and explain them if you have time Emotion: smile .
Thanks again .

In this life, everything has its bright side, for instance, sports good for health, however, someone can have injury too .
When it comes to educational purpose, I strongly believe that there will be people who are good at that particular subject or, I rather say, activity . Some people are good at sport and some are good at cookery, sometimes they can be good at non-academic subjects and find their way to success . People who are not so good in the non-academic subjects can give more time to the academic subjects . In my opinion, I do not think that the non-academic subjects should be removed, otherwise, someone who has tendency potential of becoming good at that particular subject might make his way to success, in other words, people have weakness in understanding of the academic subject, where others have strong potential ofunderstanding of the acdemic ones. Sometimes it is good to expand your horizons to have multi knowledge and becoming more educated, to have some ideas and to keep your brain active .
Nowadays, some people are using their non-acdmic knoweldge to gain money, and becoming millioners . For instance, as the ones we see in Tvs' nowadays, showing creative ideas on cooking, or people who are good in football/baskeball/baseball/amercain football . we would not enjoy or learn if those subjects/activities were to ban at schools .
At last, high school is about to get to know who you are, and what are you good at ? I believe people can have their shot in everything.
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In this life, everything has its bright side. For instance, sports is good for one's health; however, someone can be injured have injury too .
When it comes to an educational purpose, I strongly believe that there will be people who are good at that particular subject or, I rather say, activity . Some people are good at sports and some are good at cookery, sometimes they can be good at non-academic subjects and find their way to success . People who are not so good in the non-academic subjects can give (devote) more time to the academic subjects . In my opinion, I do not think that the non-academic subjects should be removed. Otherwise, someone who has a tendency or potential of becoming good at that particular subject might (not?) make his way to success. In other words, (some?) people have a weakness in understanding of the academic subjects, where others have strong potential for of understanding of the acdemic ones. Sometimes it is good to expand your horizons so that you will to have multi knowledge of many things, and becomeing more educated, to have some ideas and to keep your brain active .

THere are still many spelling errors in the following paragraph. I underlined these and also some grammatical problems:
Nowadays, some people are using their non-acdmic knoweldge to gain money, and becoming millioners . For instance, as the ones we see in Tvs' nowadays, showing creative ideas on cooking, or people who are good in football/baskeball/baseball/amercain football . we would not enjoy or learn if those subjects/activities were to ban at schools .
At last, high school is about to get to know who you are, and what are you good at ? (you mixed a statement and question in the same sentence...) I believe people can have their shot in everything.
Hi, thanks for your time .
But can you pleas explains to me why the statment and sentenct can not be made in a single sentence ?
thanks again .
Hi;
xmagedoBut can you pleas explains to me why the statment and sentenct can not be made in a single sentence ?
Yes.
It is important to punctuate sentences correctly. Two independent sentences (main clauses) can be joined by a comma followed by one of the "FANBOYS" conjunctions: for, and, nor, but, or, yet and so.

If you join two independent sentences with any other conjunction or phrase (however, for instance, although, ... and many more), you must use a semi-colon after the first sentence, or make two separate sentences.
In general, the semi-colon should be used sparingly. It is usually best to punctuate independent statements with a period to avoid run-on sentences.
Here are some useful links that describe the conjunctions, independent clauses, dependent clauses and punctuation:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/598/01 /
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/598/02 /
http://www.roanestate.edu/owl&writingcenter/OWL/Connect.html
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Thank you very much, really apprecaite .