+0
I"m F5 student to affront hkcee.Therefore.Can you corrected my article and grammer?

Title:You are Chis Wong.Your monther gave you a pet as a present on your birthday.Study the following pictures carefully and write a diary entry describing the first day you keptthe pet. PS(I didn't know the 'diary entry'of this mean on the title.Can you explain this words and let me know?

What a great it is today!I am 16. Guess what present Mum gave me?She gave me a dog.I have anted to keep the animals for so long.Now,my dream has come tuure.

This was my frist times became a host with my alived pet-Dodo. Therefore, I felt a very cheerful. But, in the beautiful morning, I was woke up by my alive pet uttered some of noise. It want to play with me so I take my pet wake down and went to nearly the park.15 MIN later, I was felt hungry than arrived at snackbar brought some good. Suddenly, it disappeared when I returned. I felt in a sweat. Than, I sought it in the park and near around where have many hassock. And I asked around of people to find it. Finally, I couldn’t found it may be my mother wouldn’t be punished to me. I’m scane and tell to her. But, she didn’t scolded to me as well as return to home.
(Main summary is on above)
It's so difficult to keep a pet, much more difficult than I thought. But I’ll take Mum’s advice-I won’t give up and I must make it the happiest pet in the world
+0
kaki, welcome to English Forums.

You must give people more time before becoming impatient. Remember that many members are in different time zones than you and may have been sleeping while you posted it.

I don't think you were very careful in your essay. For example, "food" is written as "good."

There is no need to refer to your dog as your "alive pet." Call it your dog, or call it by the name you've given it.

Please rewrite it, trying your best to not make careless errors, and someone will review it again. It's not fair to ask us to review anything less than your best efforts.

Also, it's a shame that you are more worried about how your mother will punish you for losing your dog than you worried about the dog. I think your essay would be improved by describing the relief you feel when you found your dog, rather than whether you think you will be in trouble.
Comments  
have anyone help me?
 BarbaraPA's reply was promoted to an answer.